Intuitive Shadow + SD Work + Emotional Mastery + working towards Alpha personality

[Applegarden]

1 hour ago, Zigzag Idiot said:

 

I second this, I got this horrible neighbour who gets angry as i am typing on the keyboard and playing guitar on headphones... Now, he just sits there, does nothing all day (because he is at home all the time when I am at home), throws all kinds of insults tough the wall, shouts all kinds of demands that i stop playing guitar and then calls me a loser and incapable of playing guitar (while not giving an option to grow). Well, i don't usually say this but in my mind - that guy is a loser. Because of the scarsity mindset.

Just ignore them as much as possible and keep the visioning, visualising and intrinsic motivation going. The waves of fear, insecurity and confusion will come and go, then the up-mood and the benefit of your visualisation will come out eventually at some point.

[Aquarius]

18 hours ago, Zigzag Idiot said:

 

They do. 

But I realized it was just a bot programmed to do that. 

Still shitty people. Using a bot to advertise their porn site full of viruses

I actually thought it was a real person harrassing me! Robots are evill.. : ((( ugh

[Aquarius]

17 hours ago, Applegarden said:

Just ignore them as much as possible and keep the visioning, visualising and intrinsic motivation going. The waves of fear, insecurity and confusion will come and go, then the up-mood and the benefit of your visualisation will come out eventually at some point.

That's what I did. But thanks for the kind words and the support!

It was a roller-coaster of emotions!

[Aquarius]

Doing more shadow work.

Working with the sinister.

Nature, art, jogging...

Biokinesis

Shit keeps happening, bullies

I only had time to type this

Good night

[AtheisticNonduality]

You can't fight yourself. You can only turn it into something else. And research Kabbalah and ceremonial magic. The best way to do shadow work is integrate the positive elements and let go of or cast out the negative elements. By transfiguration and transformation.

[Aquarius]

On 11/14/2020 at 2:24 AM, AtheisticNonduality said:

You can't fight yourself. You can only turn it into something else. And research Kabbalah and ceremonial magic. The best way to do shadow work is integrate the positive elements and let go of or cast out the negative elements. By transfiguration and transformation.

Thanks I guess? I didn't feel like researching anything because what I do works like magick so far, haha jk

I love working with sinister archetypes. I don't feel like anything about me is negative, I just like to embrace it all. 

Yeah I usually transmute it into humor  

But I know what you mean. I could try transfiguring the negative aspects? But in the Lower-Red stage society (spyral dynamics) I live in it's good to have some of them nasty traits  

Hugs and thanks for the message. 

 

Edited November 28, 2020 by Aquarius

[Aquarius]

Also I usually don't research stuff because it is communicated to me by higher powers.. not sure who they are. 

But anyway I just let life intuitively guide me and I get so much out of it lately that I barely have time for myself haha

But I do what I love, my passions and whatnot ...so it's all good. 

[Aquarius]

New video.. would post in more places but I feel like I insulted Harry Potter and TikTok (rightly so), and I didn't really pay attention to my radical honesty. Ick!! D: Also I am kinda weird and I talk slowly so yea

Enjoy!

"In this video I talk about my experiences with how our new left-oriented online world is limiting people from practicing their truth. But I also talk about shifting , which is a new, perhaps dangerous trend for people's mental health. So in a sense I understand the leftist "rulers'" idea of 'net safety'.... Because when it comes to dangerous trends on TikTok, or spiritual cults.. social media is taking a lot of care about its users. I do understand their concerns! I am not against net safety!!! However... my phone number from my blog page Occult Knowledge got removed because I had 666 in it.. and Facebook thought it's fake. ._. Or was punishing me for thinking I'm a satanist? HA! Talk about freedom of religion! (I'm not a satanist tho) And Spotify didn't let me log in.. perhaps an error, perhaps because I typed in weird lyrics. Still an error either way cause I did no harm for searching for a song that maybe didn't exist. *shrug* I think these two things that happened to me were unjustified and wrong use of power from those in power. Or maybe I just tend to attract negative things for a reason. "You can't make a revolution in white gloves!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vvsQGW4kNT0

Edited November 28, 2020 by Aquarius

[Aquarius]

On 8/18/2020 at 0:02 PM, Aquarius said:

About shadow work... I uncovered two core fears yesterday: 

• Fear of getting inner center disturbed / getting punished
• Fear of being "bad"

I think these are typical Innocent archetype fears.

 

The remedy is that..

1. I can be bad if I want to. It's okay to do/think/feel bad things, it's part of human nature.
2. No one can disturb the center, as the center is eternal and unmoved. And the outer layer of peace cannot be disturbed without my will / if I ignore the disturber.

Since I posted this I realized that nothing I do is bad, nothing I think is bad or wrong. All serves a purpose. I was afraid of my shadow, but my shadow is mostly just subconscious repressed instinctual behaviors and defenses. Also repressed anger, tons of it. And I was scared that I might direct that anger to the wrong places or people. 

I'm feeling better now. I express everything as it should be expressed. Sometimes it's the wrong time or place to express it. Or the wrong person. IT happens! But then I set a different intention.. transmute it through intention into peace. Use the dormant yang energies, repressed yang energies for building and positivity.  

[Aquarius]

On 8/18/2020 at 1:09 AM, Aquarius said:

@Fkdel

Hey, so I thought I might elaborate on this a bit..

My shadow work is totally intuitive, but I do have some things I do every time...

First I get my ego in a very vulnerable state. Then I do difficult practices that challenge me. Then I get into a "total power"-state from overcoming the difficulties. And then I let the fire of passion burn away insecurities (my shadow is the Inoccent-shadow, revolving around fear, naivity and disperation, not anger and toxicity as you would expect), and it's a journey of becoming whole again and embracing What Is.

So the process summarized, chronological order:

1. Get ego to be very vulnerable and exposed
2. Bring (mental/emotional) difficulty in your life
3. Overcome difficulty through intuition and insight
4. Let the passionate fire of victory melt away every impurity in your Spirit
5. Aim to embrace entireity / All That Is

I hope this helps you and everyone that follows this thread.

Maybe I should first just simply look up what shadow work actually means lmao. All of this was intuitive so far. I don't regret it though, I did embrace a shitton of my shadow lol. 

 

On 10/15/2020 at 7:37 AM, Aquarius said:

Working with certain demonic entities helped me shed a light on how Abrahamic religions focus on a god I won't name, but the point is that he is a god like other gods, not the ultimate absolute god, as that is everything and everyone. Neither is he the Source, because the Source doesn't have a mind of his/her own, OR said otherwise, we all take part in co-creation through the Source.

In the Old Testament it is clear he is a god of war, of the air and of storms. Didn't really do the research, but Holy Trinity seems a different concept from the war god from the desert. 

My point with all of this is how I called the god of Christianity an angry, all-controlling god out of intuition and experience some while ago, just to later find out I wasn't even wrong. Christian esotericism however has some value, but it's not my cup of tea. Also the religion of Christianity morphed into so many things and evolved into so many other things lately and in general over the course of time, that I cannot even say what it is or what is worships, but everything about it is just a mix of the pagan religions, astrological symbolism and myths, sprinkle that with some true wisdom and a hint of Truth and you got yourself Christianity. I don't condemn it, was just gaining clarity lately. I focus on Hindu philosophy nowadays as there is less drama and hypocrisy on the path of Hinduism. 

 

In other news, I am working towards a career, but I don't neglect spirituality either anymore. I just need to find healthier ways to practice it. 

My career focus is first getting my finals diploma, which requires many hours a day of studying mathematics, literature, anatomy/physiology of the human body and I don't even know??? Sucks failing that exam so many times in the past, but I won't give up so easily. 

If there is a way to something I want, I will find it. I noticed on myself that back in the day I was like, I had an idea ok? The idea was great and achievable. I just sucked at getting information on how to achieve it. So I dreamed about the goal, but I didn't know the journey. And I just dreamed and waited for a miracle to happen. Dreaming doesn't give pragmatic results. You need to combine it with action while you mold your nature to the requirements of society, life, universe... 

Then I'd love to finish a university in either computer engineering or software design. Idk what the options are, but I'm interested in IT so... 

 

Worked through my repetitive negative behavior some. The answer was self-love. And huh, I just remember Leo teaches it in one of his episodes??.. Strange, because I am talking from experience that self-love will solve all your problems. Guess Leo was ahead of me. Great episode, everyone should watch it. 

I don't need to work with demonic entities to fight gods. Maybe only working with them for protection or other purposes, but I'd rather work with the angelic team for now.  They're pretty creepy looking too, but creepy is only something of the mind. There nothing to be afraid of... we are infinitely loved and protected as humans.

 

I still like to talk about Christianity and even started reading the Bible and practicing Bibliomancy. I'm also uncovering an ability where I can browse through the pages of a book and I absorb information and knowledge from it subconsciously. Also maybe by touching books. It's insane! Maybe listening to the NWA Marsian meteorite frequency from Quadible is what helped... and also other psychic development subliminals. Yeeeeet.  

I also have a Moldavite. I used to drink Moldavite water... since then I keep getting channeled information out of the blue. Maybe connecting to higher self or beings.. Idk? Because it happens like.. I get an intuition or something I should talk about.. then in 10-20 minutes it's already on my personal blog. Crazy! 

 

 

I still practice Hinduism too, yes. I am more thorough with my practices but practice them rarely, because of all the work I do (art). I do sell art now guys! It's crazy, a dream come true.  I'm very happy it worked out. 

 

My career focus shifted into getting money from the things I love. So now I just focus on my passions. But I would love to get my diploma too (high school bachalaureat). I think it's sad that for emotional reasons and bullying I couldn't get that effin degree, oof cmon.. I can do better.  

 

Besides.. I realised that IT and engineering/programming would only be a temporary "tool" on my journey... but my end goal is to help people with my content. Or by talking to them. I am a volunteer listener on 7cups, so I know my shit.  But someday I wanna make it even more serious by becoming a psychiatrist. (therapist only, not prescribing meds - i dont believe in meds cause never helped me or anyone I know).

 

Self love is important. I started bullying people on chat-sites when I didn't love myself enough. It came by accident and I wasn't aware I was doing it. I believe bullies aren't aware of their behavior either. It's a blind-spot.

So.. Self Love is IMPORTANT!

I try to be very kind now. But I'm happy I'm more honest with myself and others. I just have a lot of anger built up.  

[Aquarius]

5 hours ago, Aquarius said:

New video.. would post in more places but I feel like I insulted Harry Potter and TikTok (rightly so), and I didn't really pay attention to my radical honesty. Ick!! D: Also I am kinda weird and I talk slowly so yea

Enjoy!

"In this video I talk about my experiences with how our new left-oriented online world is limiting people from practicing their truth. But I also talk about shifting , which is a new, perhaps dangerous trend for people's mental health. So in a sense I understand the leftist "rulers'" idea of 'net safety'.... Because when it comes to dangerous trends on TikTok, or spiritual cults.. social media is taking a lot of care about its users. I do understand their concerns! I am not against net safety!!! However... my phone number from my blog page Occult Knowledge got removed because I had 666 in it.. and Facebook thought it's fake. ._. Or was punishing me for thinking I'm a satanist? HA! Talk about freedom of religion! (I'm not a satanist tho) And Spotify didn't let me log in.. perhaps an error, perhaps because I typed in weird lyrics. Still an error either way cause I did no harm for searching for a song that maybe didn't exist. *shrug* I think these two things that happened to me were unjustified and wrong use of power from those in power. Or maybe I just tend to attract negative things for a reason. "You can't make a revolution in white gloves!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vvsQGW4kNT0

I do realize I was wrong in some aspects of my new video. I calmed down since.

Probably all the stuff that happened on social media were simple coincidences. And it's not my fault facebook analytics tells me an ad is expensive for something that they cannot provide enough audience for. Since in Romania there is not enough audience for an occult personal blog. But my bookish blog would get cheaper business advertising option for more audience.. because analytics! Not discrimination... also with Spotify it was a plain error (I hope)..

I took this whole stuff personally probably, I will make a new video soon explaining why. (mostly because im kinda paranoid idk)

I dont trust anything or anyone anymore... too many disappointments.  

[Zigzag Idiot]

I respect you and others here on the forum like @mandyjw and @DrewNows who take the initiative to get in front of the camera. I get tense, uptight and nervous more often than not when being recorded on video. You come across as authentic and at ease in front of the camera. That's a gift of sorts. I can see where encountering bullys would almost be a given when anyone puts out YouTube videos. As you know, bully's are just hurt, insecure people who compulsively try to hurt others but they still suck.

With English being your second language, I have to pay attention a little more closely than normal. I seem to be kindred spirits with Romanians for some reason, similar to the way I feel/am with the British.

Regarding your perspective that there is an elite Left who are manipulating things in the world. I have to say take a real close look at news sources who mischaracterizes the left while camouflaging their own right wing world view and agenda. I saw this happen with my sister, somewhat. Then again, maybe I misunderstood your perspective. I'm not saying I'm correct and the other way is not but,,,, well, yeah, I guess I am saying that. Perhaps in being an Idiot, I can get by with that. ? 

14 hours ago, Aquarius said:

I dont trust anything or anyone anymore... too many disappointments.

Hope your trust returns soon. With having trust, we're more likely to be happy and also protected by the Cosmic Forces that are of harmony.

Let's hear you rattle off a few sentences of Romanian sometime on one of your YouTubes ,,,,.?‍♂️