Life has become a little too mundane for me now

[kindayellow]

To start off, in recent times with the Coronavirus, I've felt better, it's nice to see the world coming together, kids drawing rainbows and sticking them on the front windows so people can see them. It's nice. I've been forced to take a weeks holiday (back in work tomorrow) and it's been a nice break from work. 

Whilst I am working though, I just feel absent minded in terms of, I have nothing im really working towards that is not work related. I feel like my life revolves around work, I've put lots of effort into stress management and making my time in work as nice as possible for me (main problem for me is it's rather boring and I feel like I wouldn't like to stay in the company long term even if I could get a promotion, I have been looking for new work). The only upside of all this is that for the past 10 months I've been working there (it's my first real job I'm 19), I've just saved over 60% of my monthly earnings. Which will help me in that future which is nice and will reap the benefits of further down the line.

I really do very little with my free time, I have no friends I physically go out and see. No girlfriend. I like playing basketball, I go down to the park and just shoot hoops on my own, there are no teams near me and it's not a popular sport in the UK lol. I believe what I want is friendship, I almost feel longing for my school life and school friends even though those friendships I did have, were toxic and I cut off my friendgroup about 2 years ago now. And I don't know where to find friends that I'd like, that are also people that self actualise and even if they do drink, or watch TV or whatever! They're at least working on it. I think that's what I'd like. 

I also feel resistant to these feelings a little, a feeling of... needing emotional support? And I almost don't want to admit that, maybe I do need friends, because I would like to be as independent as possible.

My posts on here always do end up sort of answering my initial questions. But if anyone can speak from experience on this type of situation and give me any sort of insight I'd very much value that:)

[Tim Gardner]

Do some meditation if your not already doing it every day, create a journal for yourself to record your insights and write in it daily/weekly. 

I'm not sure where you are in your journey but this is a great time to read, watch videos and educate yourself on whatever area you want to grow. It's probable most of the friends you'd make won't know anything about self-actualization and won't be able to grow you as much as the right book or video.

I don't know your situation so it's hard to judge but perhaps give that a try and see how it works for you. 

[Leo Gura]

@kindayellow Build a life for yourself.

Enjoy the opportunities that life offers.

[Hello from Russia]

Contemplate "What do I really want" and consider pursuing things that you'll find out. Make strategy\plan and stick to it. You'll feel energized when you do this

[GabeN]

Try to journal, or at least contemplate using a journal, it helped me unstuck my self, try to study 

your strength, rather than fix your weaknesses.

[TrynaBeTurquoise]

Find something you can direct all your energy into that you can be proud of, you enjoy, and is building a skill to level you up in life. 

[kindayellow]

@Husseinisdoingfine I've considered the life purpose course, and then forgot about it. In one way I want to set concrete goals, but I end up just shifting from one topic in personal development to another, which rationally I know isn't as beneficial. 

[Kay100]

From your description it seems to me that you are kind of socially isolated? Human are social creatures and it’s difficult for most of us to live alone without much social connections. I can understand that feeling so well. Like when I was new in where I’m living now, I didn’t know anyone and my family was not around. I felt this strong feeling of been isolated. And I had no idea what to do about it. I did went to counseling about it and it didn’t help at the time.

that was few years ago, and I have been having those isolated feelings for many years. On weekdays was ok, but during weekends I often had this feeling of emptiness and wished I had some friends to talk to and go out and socialize.

the strange thing is, the recent few years, I have never had those feelings again. My friend circle didn’t change. I still only had very few friends. But I don’t feel that isolated feeling anymore. I think the reason for that is mainly because I started to have more communication with my son who is growing up and able to talk to me a lot more now. When he was younger, like below 10 years old, he’s just into his toys and things. I can play with him often but there would be nothing we can actually talk about that we both feel interesting. Now he just entered teenage, we can talk a lot more more now. Like he often show me interesting videos on YouTube and we have a laugh together. Sometimes he tells me about something interesting he learned in his science or economics class. There are so many more things we can talk about now it’s just a lot more interesting. I think that might be the reason I’m not feeling socially isolated now? If you have even just one person that you can communicate a lot with, even just one, then you are not totally isolated.

 I often feel surprised about why I don’t feel like I lack social life now. I still don’t have much social life right now but I don’t feel like I desperately need it. And the strange thing is, my personality seem to changed as well. In the past I have often felt like I’m dull and not interesting, but my son is kind of a funny boy and he often shows me funny videos or meme or jokes, so I laugh a lot with him and I feel like I’m a much more fun person now. My dull personality is gone and I’m a lot less shy in social situations now. This is also an amazing change too and I totally didn’t expect it was possible.

well I can’t really provide a solution for you here. But I think if you try to form a good relationship with just one person, you might not have the feeling of isolation anymore.

[Harry west]

It's funny I'm almost in the same situation as you I live in the UK im 19 all the friends I had been with in the past I could honestly never trust completely personaly tho I think that with a lot of people that clame that they have good friendships are bluffing why is it you see with some people that they laugh extra hard at each other's jokes or make a big deal out of trying to make somone feel good in order to not damage there feelings there intended not because there simply being honest but rather to sustain that relationship you should ultimately trust in a true friend as if you trust youreself.

You say you live in the UK im from Somerset near tounton if you want me to reach out to you give me a shout my facebooks harrison west I'm on this self actualized journey with you.

Edited April 6, 2020 by Harry west

[bejapuskas]

Isolation isn't really isolation from other people, but isolation from your True Self. You might be looking for this perfect partner who will always accept, love and understand you and will never leave, but notice that Being You is exactly that.

It has always been there with you, always let you experience the things you were supposed to experience, it has never judged, limited or manipulated you. Build an intimate relationship with this Being, it really is worth it.