the ego and clouded mind in the questioning of relationships

[liamnewsom202]

i have been dating my first love for over a year now and as i grew more and more into deeper insights through things like psychedelics and art her materialistic view definitely clashed with me trying to help her and wake her up. this helped a bit in the fact that she has a bit more of an understanding but as leo talks about in his videos she cant seem to get past scientific explanations and ism's. i sometimes get caught up in blaming her for all of her own ego issues as i project my own shadow work onto her and i feel like the fact that she sometimes isnt always concious and avoids hard truths about her actions and cant see the bigger picture sometimes and will get anxious about the fact that life is a challenge and that there is work to be done in order to combat our constant need for comfort. this has definately created some void in our relationship and has made me lose attraction for her but in a way which can be tricky for me to explain to her out of my own fear of her not being able to accept my shadow as i wouldnt imagine myself a few years ago before i worked on these kinds of practices of self actualization of accepting. a part of me has fantasized about moving on and alot of the time it is in pursuit of strong orange value systems such as persuing sex and flaunting my new found self confidnece as a way of validation. this i understand is just an egoic illusion and not truthful but theres a part of me which wonders how i should go about handling this because i definately do love her and she is by no means boring or completely societally brainwashed. in fact it appears she has many strong green values except for the awakening to something beyond materialism which is kind of the center of the frusteration and us not always seeing eye to eye. should I as a self actualizer learn to accept this and continue to love her unconditionally and give up trying to help awaken her? is there ways of striving for her to understand this without arguement and ego backlash from her? what do you guys make of this situation.

[universe]

Punctuation, dude.

To clarify, what exactly is the problem you have with her materialistic worldview? Whats your take on materialism and on what scale do you see her on it? Is she scientific?

You say she is not boring, what else do you value in your relationship?

 

[Zigzag Idiot]

@liamnewsom202  I think I understand or at the least, I relate somewhat. 

Just pictured Echart Tolle saying something like -- "just let your transformed presence inform her."

Trying to wake people up sometimes makes them mad and if that happens, you're lucky if you're able to go run and hide. 

Some schools teach we each have a psychological blind spot that has repercussions and it usually takes years to address.

Thats just my 2 cents for whatever it's worth. Good luck to you.

 

[tsuki]

@liamnewsom202 If you're trying to wake her up, you are effectively acting as if you knew her better than she knows herself.
Try being her companion instead and letting her make her own choices, even if you disagree with them. She will not be on the exact same journey as you are, but paradoxically, this is the only way to feel less lonely.

I would also like to share a sentence that I picked up somewhere and is helpful to me in difficult times:

Remember that relationships are not here to make us feel good, but to make us more conscious.

Have a great day and the rest of your life.