I am nervous taking psychedelics

[OBEler]

Hello,

I really get nervous once I decide to trip again. Even on low doses like 70 microgram LSD. I tripped over 15 times and after the first 4 trips I had one "bad trip" on too much lsd. After this needed a break for over one years. Then I got slowly back again, taking psychedelics regulary once per month. The fear is always in the background. It is like "Why am I doing this?". It is like a burden for me...Oh no one month is over, time for tripping again. I dont want this. But I do it anyway, against fear. 

On the one side I wish a breakthrough experience which brings me on the next level on spirituality. On the other side, I feel scary to have this experience. Will this be too much? Will I never see reality for what it is? I fear infinity, I fear to find out that there is no death. When I sit in silence during trips I always feel like something strange can happen from one second to the next and this will blow my mind forever. Do mystical experiences really feel like suddenly you will hit by a train? Or can it also feel total normal.

I have  very much respect for every little trip I have and am always nervous. After the peak is over I am happy that the trip will come to an end. Is this normal?

 

[Leo Gura]

@OBEler Your fear is okay.

When you are afraid, know that I love you and you are Love.

You are not Awake yet. Keep going. In a loving manner. I will be there to hold you when you realize you are God. You will drown in Love.

[Nemo28]

@OBEler When i started doing ayahuasca, my second trip was total hell for me, like for eternity, it was the most horrible experience in my life..but im glad i didnt stop cause now after many more ayahuasca ceremonies there is only bliss and heaven. In other words i have learnt how to surrender and trust the Unknown. You need to have unshakable trust in the goodness of It all. No one wants to hurt you, psychadelics are here to help. Im sometimes so conflicted how it is that these chemicals can bring me closer to The Spirit, its insane ..all my life i have searched for mystical experiences and only through psyhadelics i came to know them, it has transformed me completely. 

Good luck on your journey my friend

 

[Globalcollective]

2 hours ago, Meta-Man said:

Your fear is okay.

When you are afraid, know that I love you and you are Love.

You are not Awake yet. Keep going. In a loving manner. I will be there to hold you when you realize you are God. You will drown in Love.

@Leo Gura Ahmen 

Edited March 29, 2020 by Globalcollective