Thoughts on first psychedelic trip

[Commodent]

Last Tuesday I had my very first psychedelic experience. I took 75 mcg of LSD, which I thought would allow me to just dip my toe in the water but which ended up being a really intense experience.

Early into the trip I set the intention to completely surrender everything, and it soon became incredibly clear to me that there is only consciousness. It sounds cliche but it's true. Life is and always has been a journey through consciousness. Consciousness is the only thing you will ever explore. I also saw that all the things that I had been holding onto were absolutely groundless, which shook me pretty hard. Everything you hold as true is only true because of your notion of it as being true. In essence any idea, feeling or phenomena is absolutely groundless. And this goes down to even your most fundamental principles of behavior.

I saw very clearly how I'm creating my own reality, and how much garbage I have in my own mind (or more accurately, the negative karmic potential associated to this consciousness). You can run away from the neighbours dog but you cannot run away from the subconscious. It's always there and it's shaping all your perception. I saw how there is no hidden reality and how you only have the present moment to deal with and your current karma. Everything is here. Every decision you make is exactly here. Nowhere else.

It really made me see the value of resting in silence (meditation), as that it is the most direct practice for dealing with all that "garbage" that I became so aware of. Resting as your true nature melts everything else away, and it's a blissful process.

It also helped me realize what I want to do in my life. To exist. Existence is the most fundamental thing there is and that is what I want to align my life with. The rest may simply spring from that. So I need not fret over what to do with my life.

The question I am left with after this experience is who am I? On this trip everything melted away except for the innate quality of consciousness that was experiencing. Everything was morphed but not "that". And what on earth is that? It feels like a dead-end, and that I'm not getting any further trying to understand it because that is what I am. I think I can only seek to be it.

[SamueLSD]

Those are some good realisations, especially for your first trip on such a low dose. You're going to love the big doses.