19 And In Suburbia

[Mattylonglegs]

So i've been watching Leo's videos and starting to get into personal development for almost a year now and its been a fun and amazing ride. I've learned so much about myself in this time period and as a 19 yr old, i feel like i've only scratched the surface. But now its my first summer off from college and i'm having a tough time keeping to my goals and plans. Everyday My friends want to have parties, smoke pot, work out, fuck girls or generally just chill. And if its not my friends my mom or dad (i still live with them) are asking me to do some chores or go to this family function or that cousins wedding. If i'm not up for it, i wanna be somewhere alone to journal and write about my life purpose(i bought Leo's course) i get shit from my friends or family. It's not all shit but my friends, my mom and dad put a lot of pressure on me to do stuff with them. i mean i want to do all of these things to which is the funny part but i want to do them in a fun, aware, "higher consciousness" way. I'm not sure i even know what that means. However when I get involved with this stuff i just feel like i'm doing things for other people, so i don't really have a ton of passion behind it. . I just wish i had a group of friends or partners who i could start a business or life purpose course to hold each other and accomplish all that ancillary fun when we can, but i  want to work my ass off on my life purpose course to really start getting that beast working in my life as soon as i can. i can do it on my own but i really want to have people a long for the ride. I mean i want to improve humanity and if i forsake all my friends and family to go live somewhere in the woods or travel on my own, i feel guilty for leaving them behind and not taking them with me. SO does anyone have any advice?  

[Mattylonglegs]

yeah i've done that with my mom at least. not so much with my friends, i kind of feel like i'll alienate them if espouse these grandiose dreams i have