The HEALING ROAD

[Preety_India]

 

 

We are as the flute, and the music in us is from thee;
we are as the mountain and the echo in us is from thee.

 We are as pieces of chess engaged in victory and defeat:
our victory and defeat is from thee, O thou whose qualities are comely!

 Who are we, O Thou soul of our souls,
that we should remain in being beside thee?

 We and our existences are really non-existence;
thou art the absolute Being which manifests the perishable.

 We all are lions, but lions on a banner:
because of the wind they are rushing onward from moment to moment.

 Their onward rush is visible, and the wind is unseen:
may that which is unseen not fail from us!

 Our wind whereby we are moved and our being are of thy gift;
our whole existence is from thy bringing into being.

 

[Preety_India]

 

 

For the other half of the sky

Woman, I can hardly express,
My mixed emotion at my thoughtlessness,
After all I'm forever in your debt,

And woman, I will try to express,
My inner feelings and thankfulness,
For showing me the meaning of success,
Ooh, well, well,
Ooh, well, well,

Woman, I know you understand
The little child inside the man,
Please remember my life is in your hands,

And, woman, hold me close to your heart,
However distant don't keep us apart,
After all it is written in the stars,
Ooh, well, well,
Ooh, well, well,

Woman, please let me explain,
I never meant to cause you sorrow or pain,
So let me tell you again and again and again,

I love you (yeah, yeah) now and forever,
I love you (yeah, yeah) now and forever,
I love you (yeah, yeah) now and forever,
I love you (yeah, yeah).

 

[Preety_India]

 

 

On love......... 

Love"
 

Love is real, real is love
Love is feeling, feeling love
Love is wanting to be loved

Love is touch, touch is love
Love is reaching, reaching love
Love is asking to be loved

Love is you
You and me
Love is knowing
we can be

Love is free, free is love
Love is living, living love
Love is needing to be loved

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

I think I'll be turning to Reiki as my new healing technique that I'll add to my arsenal. 

 

 

When you sit confused

 

 

 

Edited May 11, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

 

I'm not sure how gemstones help with healing but I'm a bit skeptical right now. 

I have always liked the energy of gemstones. But this thing is new for me. 

 

[Preety_India]

 

This guy seems to be pretty good at movements. 

I can actually feel the sensations of his movements. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

I don't know why.... 

But whenever I think of you(not my boyfriend and not my ex either) , I think of James Charles. 

 

 

 

Lord..... All the fuckery... 

 

.

 

Edited May 11, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

 

I had promised myself at some point that I'll never degrade myself to chathood level. 

Time to take a pledge again. 

 

[Preety_India]

 

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

Please no comments in my journal. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

 

Draw a circle on your veranda. 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

When you realize that all your life, you've been a performance artist and everything has always been a performance. 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

Time for me to move on and find something that I can be more deeply connected to. 

 

[Preety_India]

 

 

think this is just another episode in your existential crisis period that you are going through. It's a journey of your mind. Your mind is going through chaos to come to peace eventually. 

One thing I would want to tell you is that your mind like any other human mind is very complex. This complex mind is always looking for a fixed solution, like a one size fits all solution, this is a fallacy itself because life and the world is magnanimously more complex than all the ramblings of all human minds put together. But the human mind is desperately trying to make sense of every little thing and the whole picture because it cannot function peacefully without understanding the nature of things, it likes logic and order, because it cannot function normally in a chaos, the problem is that there is no order to life, no manual or tutorial ever written to show how life has to be lived, we can only do our best in one particular moment and take it one moment at a time or a day at a time, but we cannot what would be right or wrong for our future. It could be option A. It could be option B. Or it could be both A and B put together or none of them. Life is like a multiple choice question which means it will have many answers to choose from and sometimes all of these answers won't be enough to solve its mystery. 

The best thing is to not put a brake on anything, not confine it with decisions and absolute thoughts or absolute actions. 

"I will not do this. I will completely stop this. This is not for me. This is the right way." 

These forms of thinking are very black and white and will restrict your mind to new experiences and also question your original experiences and thoughts. You might feel liberated at first to have a fixed thought but soon realize that you're missing out on the things that your mind decided to block.. 

Do not confine your mind with absolute questions, "whether I should do this or that" type of question and then go looking for an absolute answer in the form of "yes/no" to these absolute questions. 

The universe is vast and your mind is exploring this labyrinth of the universe with whatever tools it got at its disposal. Don't put a full stop brake on this learning and growth and exploration process by already trying to know all the answers to everything in life. 

You have just begun your  life as a young man  like the rest of us. You would also be clueless like the rest of us. But just like us, through your navigation, you would pick up some useful nuggets here and there to guide you through life. 

This is a hard task. An uphill battle. Trying to make it perfect will end up wrecking it. You are still in the molding stages. Jumping to make it perfect will cause premature growth and black and white erratic learning and misinterpretations leading to more confusion. 

Now since there is no particular answer to any of the complex questions in life, the best approach is an all inclusive approach. An approach  that is more gray and less black and white. An approach that combines dynamic thinking and multiple facets and gives equal advantage to every perspective. That nicely wraps everything together. So you are not missing out on anything and getting the advantage of every single perspective in your life. To think like this you will have to be an extreme opportunist. You will need to see the good in everything for your maximum benefit and advantage. 

People having a great girlfriend or acquiring a material possession are not doing wrong entirely nor are people who are into minimalist living missing out on anything. It's a matter of will and suitability. Maybe those people who are happy with their material possessions have based their happiness on it and taking away their possessions or convincing them that it's not worth might make them sadder and this strategy can be counter productive. Same goes for the humble minimalist. 

Now what do you do confronted with such a paradoxical picture in front of you. Take the best of both worlds and incorporate it into your life. 

This can sound confusing at first, but you learn to become a super predator and gain Mastery at getting the juice out of everything. If working for material success makes you a better person, a more motivated and efficient person, then do it. At the same time, don't be too surrendered to it.. Keep room for humility. Keep your heart open for experiences that are closer to heart and less materialistic. Engage in spirituality. 

Find a girl who is not only hot in the materialistic possession perspective but also who keeps your heart in love and humility. This way you become a more dynamic person. You evolve into a spiral to become a more complex person who can easily adjust and adapt to the complexities of life. 

[Preety_India]

 

                     Letter

 

An open letter to all the people who seem to give 2 fucks about me and bother to read my journals. (in an attempt to understand me which is an impossible task) 

 

I have an extreme need for growth and introspection and expansion in different directions and I don't do it like a rule and order instruction manual, this is my signature, I'm chaotic and artistic with my life. 

Don't limit me with your opinions. Don't pigeonhole me into your views about me. I'm a complex human being that only people who are as complex as me will understand. 

My growth and my methods of introspection in life are always chaotic and haphazard with no rule, restriction or structure. But this is who I am and who I have come to be. 

So when someone has a very limited negative opinion on my character I feel some distress and I feel caged. 

Just let me be who I am. 

If I am the object of your attention or thinking right now, I ask you to liberate me from it.. I don't want your attention. I never needed it to begin with. It's my fantastically chaotic nature that attracts your attention to me and I understand it but I can't help being who I am. I can't become a boring person. 

I just have to be myself at the end of the day. 

I don't have a fantastic vocabulary to go along with my fantastic nature so I make do with whatever words I can find to express myself. This obviously makes my wording and writing unnecessarily long and complicated and might appear like garbage to y'all. But I'm not that simple garbage of a shallow person that you are thinking I am. 

There's a method to my madness that only a mad person would understand. 

 

Thanks for listening. 

Edited May 12, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

 

I love Andrew too much. I don't think I'd be able to live without him. 

 

His love is irresistible. 

He has become a part of me.. 

I get emotionally attached very quickly. 

But I trust Andrew 

His loving sexual energy is guiding me. 

The last time we had sex, it felt like magic. He was so loving. I can't get over it. 

I love you Andrew... Endlessly 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

I don't want to go there because I don't know in what direction my brain might wander and what it might pick up 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

INTENSE FIRE VISUALIZATION AND EXPLOSION OF SPIRITUALITY 

 

I finished an intense fire visualization and honestly it felt like a rebirth. 

The visualization was as follows. 

First I sat down completely naked. 

I took a deep breath for a few seconds. And then started imagining a small ball of fire at the center of the heart chakra in my chest. And then I imagined that this ball of fire was getting bigger and bigger. And the fire was spreading throughout my body. And slowly the flames were emanating from my skin outwards towards the surroundings. Eventually these wild flames will reaching to the planet and energizing every flower, plant, animal and humans giving them the energy to sustain and survive and be protected from all the deficiencies and Scarcities of life. 

This fire wasn't burning the grass but like sunlight it was energizing everything. 

I suddenly felt like an explosion of spirituality and light. I felt a bit dizzy but it was okay. I felt calm. 

At the end of it the fire was slowly receding and coming back to me and gradually fading into a small ball and disappearing within me. 

I don't have words to describe this experience. It really felt like an explosion. Like boom!!!! and then calm, fading..... 

It felt like a massive purge.

Only these images can describe how I felt. But it was more  powerful than anything I had experienced before 

 

Almost resonates with what Osho said. 

 

 

 

 

 

Everything was Infinity. 

 

 

 

This picture resonates a lot with how I felt. It was like looking deep inside me instead of outside. 

 

 

 

There was an intense vulnerability towards the end 

 

 

 

I felt like....... 

Like all love, all splendor, all beauty, all art, all intelligence, all creativity, all energy, all peace, all Infinity merging together in that fire ball inside of me. 

And this fire ball represented the energy of the universe through which everything was made possible. 

Every form of art or creativity, every piece of art, every form of love, every moment of peace came out of this fire ball. 

I cried a lot after this experience. 

It liberated some intense trauma. 

I had experienced intense childhood trauma. Something that I don't talk about because I consciously try to hide it. 

There is an intense fear in talking about it so I don't talk about it. 

I never talked about it to any of my boyfriends except for Andrew who has been very non judgemental. 

 

Edited May 12, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

 

I have been doing great after this fire visualization.