My personal blockage for a good trip

[Whatwhat]

I've done lucy many times and it leads me to a good trip every time.

I tried DPT once and it was profound but horrible.

It takes me to a deep subconscious mind of mine and tries to show me the absolute.

But I always look away! I just don't know how to look at it.

I tried letting it all go and just watching it.

I tried killing myself several times.

I tried listening to music.

Nothing works.

So my fear is about 'self-rationalization'

The habit has been so deeply rooted in my system that fixing it would mean the total change of me.

It's either me trying not to be changed to a new person or don't know how to fix it or both.

I heard from Martin ball's video that the key to breakthrough using 5 meo is to be authentic and it truly is.

Being authentic isn't simply not lying to a person but to oneself and everything...

It's so fucking hard! 

The problem is so deep and profound...

I need more practice

I'm going to a 10-days-meditation retreat trying to fix it.

Do you have any advice for me?

 

 

[Arzack]

48 minutes ago, Whatwhat said:

I've done lucy many times and it leads me to a good trip every time.

I tried DPT once and it was profound but horrible.

It takes me to a deep subconscious mind of mine and tries to show me the absolute.

But I always look away! I just don't know how to look at it.

I tried letting it all go and just watching it.

I tried killing myself several times.

I tried listening to music.

Nothing works.

So my fear is about 'self-rationalization'

The habit has been so deeply rooted in my system that fixing it would mean the total change of me.

It's either me trying not to be changed to a new person or don't know how to fix it or both.

I heard from Martin ball's video that the key to breakthrough using 5 meo is to be authentic and it truly is.

Being authentic isn't simply not lying to a person but to oneself and everything...

It's so fucking hard! 

The problem is so deep and profound...

I need more practice

I'm going to a 10-days-meditation retreat trying to fix it.

Do you have any advice for me?

 

 

That's a common misconception, that you can choose to let go or not, and therefore avoid a bad trip (even Martin is "guilty" of believing such nonsense).

The problem is either that you are taking high doses, but not enough to breakthrough, or that you are stopping after the first hit of DPT (I don't know about DPT effect's duration but smoked 5-meo is too short so you need to take it 3-4 times in a row to switch from bad trip to nirvana; LSD duration is fine but it takes 600 ug and no "tolerance" to breakthrough).

[Whatwhat]

@Arzack OMFG Locking yourself with the timer...

This is so interesting THANK YOU!!!