I finally 'died' and then I gave birth to a new world

[TRUTHWITHCAPITALT]

@Emerald  You wrote great insights with vivid details and that is awesomeness. I am happy for you that you came to that realization. 

Personally I am not a fan of ceremonies. I smell cultish and sense of entitlement approach. That is why I prefer solo trips. Since you are pro surrender though, I challenge you to go for the one and only 5MEO.

[Peter124]

@Leo Gura I acheived this enlightenment and greater from cannabis and tobbaco combined.

The combination is perfect.

Jump up and down notice form going up as you go down and as you go down form goes up.

We are not bodies we are invisibility and nothingness pretending to be a me and a you. There is no man and no woman. Remember NONDUALITY.

[Peter124]

@Leo Gura

If the character of Leo wants to learn how to heal every ailment in the body, place awareness on the pain body and breath.

Meditate and allow breath or spirit to do the work.

Feel breath. The union of God and Goddess is color and breath is divinity.

Opposite is different hues of the same.

What is breath. Meditate on what is breath. The answer of who am I is who I am. What is breath is what breath is.

What is that is what that is.

The answer to the question questions the answer.

The answer to infinity is infinite answers.

Insanity is to be in sanity.

To be sane is to be in sane.

What is sane is what is insanity.

What it is what is it.

What is it is what is it.

I am what am I.

I am what is the universe.

I am what is

Is am the.

 

 

[Leo Gura]

11 minutes ago, Peter124 said:

@Leo Gura I acheived this enlightenment and greater from cannabis and tobbaco combined.

If that's true, 5-MeO-DMT will rock your world.

You ain't ever gonna access what 5-MeO-DMT can show you via cannabis and tobacco. Not even close.

But I'm not denying your cannabis/tobacco realizations. They are in the right direction.

[Emerald]

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

@Emerald Very good! Finally!

Now wait till you try 5-MeO-DMT.

All that was child's play

The true Awakening is yet ahead after you integrate and move past all the above.

Take time to integrate all that, but don't stop there.

Killer first trip. A lot for one trip. Too much really. Gotta baby step it not to freak yourself out. You rejected the enlightenment simply because you were too overwhelmed by it without enough gradual tripping and integration work. You needed a return to the safety of your old life. You'll come around. It takes a lot trips to iron out all the resistances, shadow material, and kinks before you can access full God-consciousness. It cannot be done in one or even 10 trips.

It was made very clear that I’m not meant to seek transcendence. God showed me its burden to have mercy on me because I never would have stopped seeking. And it said my purpose here is surrender to my humanity.

And enlightenment is arbitrary in the eyes of God. I really felt how trivial enlightenment is in so many ways.

And now, every time I go to sleep, I die. And when the absolute is too much, I ask for mercy and I find my life as Emerald again. It’s terrifying, truly.

Most shouldn’t seek to become enlightened. The function of the enlightened is to bear the burden of the absolute in human form, to ease the sufferings of humanity.

So, in whichever way you take it, have mercy on the human being called Leo.

 

[Leo Gura]

6 minutes ago, Emerald said:

It was made very clear that I’m not meant to seek transcendence. God showed me its burden to have mercy on me because I never would have stopped seeking. And it said my purpose here is surrender to my humanity.

And enlightenment is arbitrary in the eyes of God. I really felt how trivial enlightenment is in so many ways.

And now, every time I go to sleep, I die. And when the absolute is too much, I ask for mercy and I find my life as Emerald again. It’s terrifying, truly.

Most shouldn’t seek to become enlightened. The function of the enlightened is to bear the burden of the absolute in human form, to ease the sufferings of humanity.

So, in whichever way you take it, have mercy on the human being called Leo.

These are still stories and games.

Your psychedelic journey has only begun. Don't quit so soon.

You do not yet understand God or Awakening. So don't make any firm decisions about not doing stuff.

You have only dipped your toe in the ocean. The terror of it will go away. It took me 1 year to overcome the terror of my first big 5-MeO-DMT breakthrough and to go back for seconds. It was all games and fear.

These days when I trip there is no more terror. Only awe, magic, and Love. But it took close to 100 trips to reach this point. I promise you it's worth it. Just go slowly.

[Emerald]

Just now, Leo Gura said:

These are still stories and games.

Your psychedelic journey has only begun. Don't quit so soon.

It was made clear that I am only to surrender and accept and love whatever is. My path is surrender. There is nothing to seek here and nothing to fix.

I will take existence as it comes and ask for no more than what is given freely. It’s already so much to open up to and so I surrender to it. And when I can surrender no more, I surrender to the need for respite and ask for mercy.

 

[Derek White]

10 minutes ago, Emerald said:

And when the absolute is too much, I ask for mercy and I find my life as Emerald again. It’s terrifying, truly.

This seems to come out of fear. Why don't you surrender to the fear?

[Leo Gura]

8 minutes ago, Emerald said:

It was made clear that I am only to surrender and accept and love whatever is. My path is surrender. There is nothing to seek here and nothing to fix.

Hehe, cute.

How about you surrender to 100 trips of 5-MeO-DMT?

[Emerald]

7 minutes ago, Derek White said:

This seems to come out of fear. Why don't you surrender to the fear?

I let it be there. I don’t try to overcome it or “solve it”. I listen to it and accept it as a precious and vulnerable part of my humanity. It’s okay to be afraid.

[Emerald]

4 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Hehe, cute.

How about you surrender to 100 trips of 5-MeO-DMT?

When you get the message, you hang up the phone.

[Derek White]

4 minutes ago, Emerald said:

I let it be there. I don’t try to overcome it or “solve it”. I listen to it and accept it as a precious and vulnerable part of my humanity. It’s okay to be afraid.

This contradicts your surrender comment. This is fear talking, I hope your mind changes in the future.

If not for anything do it for us .

I mean what else are you going to do? You don't have to "solve it". Do it if you want to... to explore... if your intuition allows you... for shits and giggles.

Edited March 23, 2020 by Derek White

[RendHeaven]

1 minute ago, Emerald said:

When you get the message, you hang up the phone.

What if you only get half the messa-*hangs up the phone*

[TRUTHWITHCAPITALT]

@Emerald you love your stories and your "prison" that is why you are afraid. I like your honesty about that but from the look of it looks like you love playing with words and meanings. Be fearless and dismantle the different layers of illusions.

[Leo Gura]

5 minutes ago, Emerald said:

When you get the message, you hang up the phone.

More cuteness covering up truth.

God knocked on your door and you shut it in his face.

God keeps knocking, but you turn up the music.

[Emerald]

2 hours ago, Mada_ said:

Thank you so much for this post, I really resonated with how you mentioned loving the "childlike" parts of yourself that do unconscious things. 

Do you think delaying experience in your life was a good idea?

I am 19 and am planning to do more serious psychedelics around 23 years of age, when I am more mature and on purpose. 

Yes. I find the labor/birth that I experienced to be indicative of the end of an incubation period. For me, I had to struggle for 11 years as I did to understand surrender.

There is no rush. Follow your intuition. My impression is that such an experience will only be given if it’s best for you. Only do it if it calls to you in more than just an intellectual way.

Also, come to understand deeply why you want enlightenment. There is much growth to be had there.

[Emerald]

9 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

More cuteness covering up truth.

God knocked on your door and you shut it in his face.

God keeps knocking, but you turn up the music.

It could be so. Even still, it is okay. 

[Derek White]

@Emerald Why is there this division between Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine in your trip? 

As an observer who never did psychedelics, it seems like your implicit thoughts being projected into your trip. Kind of like how Freud talked about dreams being inspired by your daily life. Do you wanna speak to that?

[Emerald]

14 minutes ago, TRUTHWITHCAPITALT said:

@Emerald you love your stories and your "prison" that is why you are afraid. I like your honesty about that but from the look of it looks like you love playing with words and meanings. Be fearless and dismantle the different layers of illusions.

There is nothing that needs to be dismantled. I am not fearless, so I am letting it be so. I feel very vulnerable, so I let it be.

There is still so much that I’ve yet to surrender. I have so much I’m clinging to.

So, surrender is my focus. And there is nothing that needs fixing or overcoming. 

[Emerald]

2 minutes ago, Derek White said:

@Emerald Why is there this division between Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine in your trip? 

As an observer who never did psychedelics, it seems like your implicit thoughts being projected into your trip. Kind of like how Freud talked about dreams being inspired by your daily life. Do you wanna speak to that?

It communicated to me in the way I could understand it.

It brought me through this process to help me purge and give me a message in the way I was capable of receiving it.

Its main message was to accept and surrender to my human existence. So, it makes sense that it would come through symbolically in a way that I know how to process it.