Is SDS just emptying your bottle of pain?

[Villager Albert]

Friends!

I've started doing SDS cause there's not a lot to do in quarantine.

 

I'm obviously new to this and typically can't go for longer than 1h crossed legged, but today I managed to do it for 2:10.

 

In the last 15 minutes, there came a guy in my imagination that looked like something between Willy Wonka and Joker and he was standing next to a bottle of pain.

 

I didn't like the guy that much and I thought he hates me but he taught me everything I tried to describe on the picture. But he's the one who was causing me pain!

 

If it all was true, SDS and other things that cause pain would actually be the best things (if you're aware of the pain), other than dissolving the ego, right?

 

Is it possible that SDS takes away your ego's power and makes life with ego better, while for example self-inquiry dissolves the ego? Cause the Wonka guy was the ego but it wasn't me, I was watching him and talking with him.

 

Maan I have do many insights but they're not gonna stick with me

 

And maybe it's all BS and my brain is just fucked up. Am I on a right path or is this just me conceptualizing to avoid the pain? Thanks ❤️