Anti-social behavior in coronavirus

[Javfly33]

With Coronavirus I've discovered that I have a strongly urge to defy authority. In my country now is not that all business are closed, you can't go out in the street unless you are going shopping, not only that but you can't even go out running in nature-open spaces places, this is really fucked up because in most countries this is still permitted because they now some exercise at open air is not going to infect nobody but also will improve your well being and reduce isolation negative effects.

Turns out that I've discovered is not that I care so much about going out running but about "proving myself" towards authority. I have this emotional wound it seems that I have to be "above" authority and I feel the ncessity to prove myself they cant control me, therefore I had gone out running in the forest already 4 times since the prohibition to go out , but I had already had 2 surprises because they almost caught me.. part of me don't want to go out again trying to make an strategy to how to bypass controls today but algo  some of my brain is saying " you can't let this guys tell you what you can do, you can't be like everybody else like a sheep following the law, if not they win you" this seems like anti-social behavior diagnosis.

Honestly is not that I want to put people in risk (where i go running is literally a rural zone and there's NOBODY ever) but I have this feeling that part of my self-worth is attached with how much I can prove myself above the law and society in general rules. I think this is a pretty accurate diagnosis of "anti-social behavior". 

Do you have this too or do you think this is not antisocial behavior? I think it is pretty accurate.

Edited March 20, 2020 by Javfly33

[Javfly33]

29 minutes ago, Sucuk Ekmek said:

I have zero sympathy for this. We are already killing humans one way or the other, why would you bring it on me now? I won't hesitate to put your life in risk or some other. If that is what it is. If it wasn't for the clouds I also had plans to go out and run next to sea. This is a social behavior for me. I don't care the ceremony.

@Sucuk Ekmek I haven't understood almost a word haha 

[Apparition of Jack]

12 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

With Coronavirus I've discovered that I have a strongly urge to defy authority. In my country now is not that all business are closed, you can't go out in the street unless you are going shopping, not only that but you can't even go out running in nature-open spaces places, this is really fucked up because in most countries this is still permitted because they now some exercise at open air is not going to infect nobody but also will improve your well being and reduce isolation negative effects.

Turns out that I've discovered is not that I care so much about going out running but about "proving myself" towards authority. I have this emotional wound it seems that I have to be "above" authority and I feel the ncessity to prove myself they cant control me, therefore I had gone out running in the forest already 4 times since the prohibition to go out , but I had already had 2 surprises because they almost caught me.. part of me don't want to go out again trying to make an strategy to how to bypass controls today but algo  some of my brain is saying " you can't let this guys tell you what you can do, you can't be like everybody else like a sheep following the law, if not they win you" this seems like anti-social behavior diagnosis.

Honestly is not that I want to put people in risk (where i go running is literally a rural zone and there's NOBODY ever) but I have this feeling that part of my self-worth is attached with how much I can prove myself above the law and society in general rules. I think this is a pretty accurate diagnosis of "anti-social behavior". 

Do you have this too or do you think this is not antisocial behavior? I think it is pretty accurate.

Such devilry!! Your ego can't handle being told to go against it's conditioning, so you lash out like a cornered rat and do utterly stupid things like this.

The solution - go against your conditioning anyway. Accept that lockdown is what you have to do right now. Will it be frustrating? Will it be boring? Will you feel like a cuck, a loser, a nerd, a simp, for being told what to do for the good of the collective? YES! But that's precisely the point. That's Self-Actualization in a nutshell. It was always meant to be difficult, because that's where all the growth comes from.

See this time as a source of growth. In fact, right now is like a fucking goldmine in opportunities to increase awareness, development, Love, etc. You'd be a fool to miss out on it

[supremeyingyang]

10 hours ago, Apparition of Jack said:

Such devilry!!(...)
See this time as a source of growth. In fact, right now is like a fucking goldmine in opportunities to increase awareness, development, Love, etc. You'd be a fool to miss out on it

EXACTLY! This is the time to learn. The time of change will come eventually and it is wise to make our best that it is to the more conscious .

@Javfly33
I understand you and I love that you had the courage to write this down. I would be a Hypocrite to judge you, because at certain times in my life it would have thought just like you in that situation. It is good that shared this feelings and I'm quite sure that you'll grow from working out for yourself WHY you feel like you feel.

Peace 

Edited March 21, 2020 by supremeyingyang

[remember]

@Javfly33 and where to start and where to end with exceptions? the reason why it came to that point is because the ego plays a trick on people - its just an exception...but my neighbor doesn’t have it.... we just were a small group of people all know each other well... i’m going to that restaurant every other day...

its not your fault but still you have to somehow now be responsible for this too. of course relatively to still meeting people going for a lonely run in the forest is in a sense not doing any harm, but then tell that to people who want to go running in a park... and to those who just want to go for a walk and to those who want to go to the playground with their children.

it‘s really upside down, you have to be antisocial to be social.

Edited March 21, 2020 by remember

[Javfly33]

15 hours ago, Apparition of Jack said:

Will you feel like a cuck, a loser, a nerd, a simp, for being told what to do for the good of the collective? YES! But that's precisely the point. That's Self-Actualization in a nutshell. It was always meant to be difficult, because that's where all the growth comes from.

See this time as a source of growth. In fact, right now is like a fucking goldmine in opportunities to increase awareness, development, Love, etc. You'd be a fool to miss out on it

@Apparition of Jack I know LOL . Change "collective" by "natural flow of life" and yeah you got exactly how ego feels each time it has to change

[SamueLSD]

If you have come to the conclusion that abiding by these rules will not affect anyone else, the "collective", or hinder you own development, break them and be free!

The spiritual freedom I feel after breaking the law is wonderful, I separate myself from a system that doesn't really exist. 

Antisocial means to me: behaving in a rude, cruel or disgusting manner toward other people.

[Roy]

Maybe you're overthinking it and it's just the child in your wanting to have a bit of rebellious fun?