Awareness Is Curative

[kristinifi]

First day on these boards. 

So I have been trying to change my brain by always noticing when I get angry, anxious, or depressed and trying to change those feelings. I have been thinking; if every time these feelings happen if I could reduce these feelings by a tiny minuscule amount that eventually I will be cured. 

So now I listened to Leo's video that tells us just keep paying attention and be very aware of the feelings and do not try to change them and I am totally confused.  I don't think I can do that.  It is completely unnatural to me now.  

[Heart of Space]

Don't try to change your feelings, brah.  Huge rookie mistake.  Observe them, bring them to your attention with the fullest intensity you possibly can, but do not be attached to them.  It's hard to comprehend what pure observation is compared to getting attached to feelings if you're new to the whole mindfulness thing.

To know whether or not you're getting attached to them, ask yourself if you're leading yourself to more thoughts that are negative in nature.  Also, try to notice how it affects your behavior. 

Pretend if you were watching your favorite TV show and your roommates asshole cat that you hate jumps in front of the TV.  If you were being mindful of the situation you would assess the situation very objectively, the cat has jumped in front of the TV and is obscuring my view of the TV and the feeling of anger has manifested itself in response.   If you're not being mindful, you might get really angry, get up and punch the cat out of the way. 

This is a really simplistic way of looking at how you should practice this, but I think it's a good way for you to see it if you're new to this and it seems you are.  Accept what is happening and it so happens you are someone who gets angry, anxious, and depressed.   This is ok, you are human and these things will happen like a rock rolls down a hill.  Don't try to control things that you can't control, it will only cause more problems.  Good luck, gangster. 

[Time Traveler]

OK, maybe someone can help me practicing awareness.

 

It is easy for me to be aware on such activities as eating, drinking, smoking, etc. (btw, I quit smoking and drinking easy this way).

I just concentrate my attention on the feel, taste, emotions, etc and try to not digress.

 

But there are different category (games, movies, TV shows) that I cannot figure out how to apply awareness.

If movie is good I immerse into it to the degree that I even forget about myself and live inside movie.

Should I try to distance from movie and concentrate on myself, my feelings and reactions ?

There are folks who like watching movie and notice goofs like something missing in the scene and then reappearing in the next scene again.

Maybe they aren't sucked in this illusion and are seeing it more objectively ?

Is this the way how to be aware ?

But there is no point of watching movie like that. We purposely immerse ourselves into illusion.  

 

Next step would be reading a book by observing letters as ink spots and not recognizing meaning behind them. But in reality we doesn't see ink spots. They are just an illusion created by our brain interpreting signals form our retina. Then what should we observe ? Signals in brain ?

Edited June 24, 2016 by Time Traveler

[Time Traveler]

So, while waiting for some advice I experimented with spider solitaire I often play when I want to procrastinate

Usually I was immersing into task of juggling cards, trying options, redoing hundreds of times. I used to be happy when good cards come. It seems unfair to me when bad ones come in massive amounts and I felt frustrated then. Best feeling was when it was hard and looked like almost impossible but I succeed in the end. Then I felt proud by myself for a moment.

So I tried to be more aware in the process. I split my attention: one part to the task other part to observing myself.

Immediately task started to seem a little stupid. Why I should try so hard shuffle stupid cards ? No one pays me for that.

I observed my emotions when I felt happy about good cards and vice versa.

I hardly make the game to the end feeling like I am doing the stupidest thing in the world and putting so much effort into it.

OK, logically I know that long before: this is stupid. But now I felt that. 

Now I'm intrigued - if I apply this awareness thing to stuff I don't want to get rid off will it ruin them too ? 

[Vinsanity]

@Heart of Space Hey dude, so like you said people who are new to mindfulness will have trouble distinguishing between attachment and pure observation. Do you have any tips? Like for example, I would try to be aware of my thoughts and observe them, but end up getting sucked up in the negative thought spiral. However, if I notice and become aware of the negative thoughts and try to stop the negative thinking spiral wouldn't that prevent me from being fully mindful of my thinking since I am stopping the thoughts in its track? I don't know. Right now I don't really know what to do so I just dismiss all thoughts and try to be in the present. However I know eventually being mindful would help me understand my emotions and thought patterns more, its just I don't want to continuously get stuck in those negative thought spirals. Thanks man.

[Heart of Space]

4 hours ago, Vinsanity said:

@Heart of Space Hey dude, so like you said people who are new to mindfulness will have trouble distinguishing between attachment and pure observation. Do you have any tips? Like for example, I would try to be aware of my thoughts and observe them, but end up getting sucked up in the negative thought spiral. However, if I notice and become aware of the negative thoughts and try to stop the negative thinking spiral wouldn't that prevent me from being fully mindful of my thinking since I am stopping the thoughts in its track? I don't know. Right now I don't really know what to do so I just dismiss all thoughts and try to be in the present. However I know eventually being mindful would help me understand my emotions and thought patterns more, its just I don't want to continuously get stuck in those negative thought spirals. Thanks man.

Start how everyone starts, which is concentrating on your breath.  But make it very specific like the sensation of the air passing through your nostrils.  Focus in on it and observe the feeling and perception.  And when you get swept away in thought, which will happen naturally just return to that sensation.  This will give you the basic ability and understanding of how to observe something.  Eventually your level of focus will increase and then your ability to be mindful, aka the observation of thoughts, perceptions, and feelings that pop up, will improve. 

It's ok to get carried away, it's simply going to happen.  Just accept it, don't feel like you've failed, because it's really the opposite.  It's another opportunity to quiet the mind and focus your awareness on the perception.  Shit, on bad days I still get swept away for minutes at a time and I've been on this stuff for years.  It's quite like doing reps when you're working out. 

In terms of stopping thoughts.  Don't try to stop thoughts, simply become aware of them.  This all seems tough and it is, but just keep at it and I promise you'll get it.  Sometimes it seems like all of this is like being blind and navigating a complex maze.  Once you understand how to observe and be aware you just stick to that and you'll always be on the right track.  Don't make this complex, you'll just be making life difficult for yourself.