50ug LSD trip induced fear of death

[Aaron p]

"If you do psychedelics properly you are not going to be looking forward to the next time your planning on taking a psychedelic, you do not do it for fun."  - Leo

 

In my own personal opinion LSD is a terrible drug in a few ways. i like a trip to be hard and fast. For me its like getting an injection, if the doctor administering the injection slowly edged the needle into my arm and dragged it out i would punch him in the face. I never like a trip to be too long without the help of MDMA, i need to know that if my trip heads in a bad direction, that im not gona be stuck in a twisting whirlpool of my own imagined hell for 12 hours. Also research "trip killers". With an mind that is relatively inexperienced with psychoactive compounds, i always recommend the good old candy flip (which, if im not mistaken, is mixing an appropriate amount of LSD with an appropriate amount of MDMA). This is a must have for me, LSD freaks me the fuck out. MDMA and LSD compliment and intensify eachother and trust me, intensification of MDMA is...orgasmic. Completely makes the trip much easier to handle and points it effortlessly in a positive direction throughout. My personal favourite compound is DMT, i havent mixed mdma and DMT in a while but when i did last time...aw man, it was brill. DMT is extremely intense and extremely fast...only lasts around 10 minutes for me but its powerful. MDMA and mushrooms has also been reported to be a good combo (watch out for nausea), and magic mushrooms last 6 hours (half the time of LSD). If i were you id do mushrooms (use MD if i need to) then try DMT then after a good few trips on that plug some 5meo or DPT. I have a gram of DPT ordered soon. My 5meo isint working rectally so im going to smoke 5mg and see what happens lol

Edited March 17, 2020 by Aaron p

[reves]

I had some similar experiences with higher doses of 4-AcO-DMT, which for me is very confusing as the dose increases. Usually after these very confusing trips I would get one or two difficult nights with nightmares or not being able to sleep. But I did not knew this at the beginning when I was testing the psychedelic and increasing the dosage very fast and too much.

So after reducing the dose and trying other psychedelics I found out that not yet ready for higher doses of 4-AcO-DMT. I also have had these hard trips when I did took the time to prepare for the trip, or when I had a rough week before tripping. And after these hard trips, during later trips I had also a lot of per-anxiety, but I have managed to come through these phases.

I reduced the dose and increased the time between trips, also increased other activities like Kriya Yoga, meditation and journaling, which helped me integrate the hard trips slowly but steady. I am really happy that I did not quit psychedelics, as now my trips are much less neurotic and more profound with lower doses of any kind of psychedelic.

If I were you, I would try the same dose again, but I would prepare for the trip more consciously, contemplate fears and do other activities like meditation more often.

[Nadosa]

Man I experienced the same. Just without drugs tho. 

[Rodrigo SIlva]

@Aaron p I'm still hesitant with mdma because it seems like it can cause brain demage and I know some people get really addicted to it. Xanax for sure it's always around in case of an emergency. Just having it around actually make me feel much more relaxed about the whole thing

[Rodrigo SIlva]

On 17/03/2020 at 5:48 PM, reves said:

If I were you, I would try the same dose again, but I would prepare for the trip more consciously, contemplate fears and do other activities like meditation more often.

I've actually done a lot of meditation before this trip. I was almost feeling like I was about to have some breakthrough. So the fear could very well come from the meditation with a little push from the LSD. I mean I'm starting to think that there is no going around it. There will be moments of disorientation and fear on this path with or without psychedelics. 

@Nadosa I've also had similiar experiences or even more intense experiences without the influence of psychedelics. How did you deal with it?

[Nadosa]

Letting go. I dont know. Ive let go of the idea that "I" am alive, as seperate self. And just flow through life. And let things go. Whatever remains, I stay as that. And it kinda feels ok. Even though suffering still comes. Sometimes in heavy waves.

[Nadosa]

On 15.3.2020 at 6:41 PM, Rodrigo SIlva said:

I'm not sure if I understood your point. The trouble with the surrendering is that my mind doesn't know where to invest it's sense of self and security in. Like when I speak it's confusing to understand what is that thing that is speaking like if the rigid self got loosened up and now I'm not so sure who I really am. So I guess the belief that is dropping is the belief of being this very specific character.

Man I resonate so much with that.

[Rodrigo SIlva]

UPDATE: After a few days of distracting myself avoiding silence as much as possible I got the balls to shut down the computer and face the silence. And I started to have the same experience I had after the trip. I felt like I was falling into the void, reality was collapsing on itself and I was starting to realize very clearly that I don't exist. My heart was beating really really fast and at a certain point I got too scared and resisted it. Then it kept pulling me into it everytime I was silent so I had no choice and kept surrendering and then resisting and gradually surrendering all of what it wanted me to surrender. After that I felt this HUGE peace like a ton of weight has left my shoulders and I realized that I'm going through an intense spiritual transformation where it's no longer about being all peaceful and happy during meditation but what feels like the letting go of my physical self and physical reality. My meditation sessions are just a whole new thing now, 10x to 100x more powerful and a lot scarier.

CONCLUSION: It seems like psychedelics loosen up your ego structure or even blow it apart and when the ego comes back it doesn't come back to it's original structure but to a weaker, more fragile and less rigid structure which can be much more easily dismantled by your normal meditation afterwards. So contrary to my previous belief psychedelics can be used to increase your everyday level of consciousness by leaving your ego structure more fragile than before the trip. Now maybe this only happens if the ego structure was already really weak and it was about to happen anyway, more experimentation needs to be done. But for now I see LSD (and maybe psychedelics in general) as a fucking amazing tool to increase your baseline level of consciousness which is what it's most critized for not being able to do.

[OBEler]

@Rodrigo SIlva Exactly! Well done. Lsd can transform your life and thanks to lsd I can see the beauty in so many things during normal life and it stays. Almost nothing is boring for me anymore