What is hell?

[Exystem]

In my recent psychedelic experience (=p.e.) I really wanted to have deep insights into suffering and misery. After a friend of mine recently had his first p.e. and confronted himself with his shadow, I felt inspired to look at the dark side oft he moon, too. Raised in a christian kind of fundamentalist environment, beeing the only one of my generation to distance myself from church, I had to clear my mind from indoctrination. The hardest pill to swallow has always been the possibility to go to hell eternally, because I didn’t accept Jesus as my lord and savior and the bible as absolute truth. So I took the challenge to confront myself with hell, suffering and my inner demons during this p.e. Surprisingly I had no kind of bad trip, but deep insights into what suffering really is, as well as some interesting synchronicities I really want to share with you:

Enforcing my sensory perception, the drug made me very aware of a little itch at my thigh. Trying to awake my inner demons and imagining what it’s like to be in hell, the itch kind of disturbed me to focus on the actual stuff. My attention more and more turned to the itch which became so intense until I couldn’t resist scratching myself. A moment later it started somewhere else to itch and I was a little annoyed by the distraction, as I actually wanted to confront me with the heavy stuff, not beeing distracted by a little itch. After scratching, it started somewhere else again, of course. So I mindlessly walked into the bathroom, intensively scratching myself all over the body, with the intention to get rid of the itching or at least to become aware of the fact that it doesn’t help at all so I would be able to resist the temptation. I wanted to see my inner demons, to know what hell and suffering is about, not wasting my trip scratching myself, I thought. Then I looked into the mirror when the curtains fell down. I saw myself completely red with almost bloody stripes all over the body. Seeing this annoyed, desperate, restless red devil in front of me witch his claws hurting himself in order to end the pain, I realized what confronting my inner demons really meant. „Only hurt people hurt people“ came into my mind. My whole body was littered with itch, in retrospect I know now that it was the beginning of something like hives (illness). I walked back to my bed and lay down, intending to completely stop scratching, having seen through the game. But the itching came back much stronger than before. Some parts of the body started to twitch around and after a while I gave up and started to scratch me again. The whole itching and scratching phases went on for almost eight hours, always in a harsh struggle between resisting and giving in to the temptation. Though I realized the mechanism, I wasn’t strong enough to embody the truth I have grasped. The whole time I introspected myself and wrapped my mind around what this experience wanted to tell me, so I took lots of notes between the phases:

Hell is a state of consciousness in which you desire immidiate reward/release above everything else. Every scratching (effort and temptation) in order to end the itching (restlessnes and suffering) worsens the situation, because by whirling around one maintains the murky water instead of letting the dirt settle by itself. It is the attempt to end the necessary process of learning and growing prematurely. Learning and growing happens the more one is able to let go of the illusion that anything finite could ever satisfy the infinite desire for love, truth, peace and happiness. The human nature is at some level between heaven and hell, a stage where he can take huge steps towards both extremes by either attaching himself to finite objects or adjusting himself to god/the absolute by letting go of all illusions. Each person is on a different level, which reach from the desire to hurt others (and therefore the Self) coming from the deeper wish to end ones own excruciating existence, to the desire to accumulate knowledge to understand reality. In deed, even knowledge can be a temptation, and also lots of high quality spiritual teachers may sacrifice precious resources (time and energy) or their critical mind (and start again to believe in things the don’t know) in order to accumulate finite knowledge, instead of practicing the highest teaching – love. It’s not that knowledge is bad, but it may be just a stage which one can outgrow – but beware not to end the process prematurely! The persuit of rational wisdom may be a trap as everything else, just on a higher level, capturing philosophers and scientists, attaching them to the believe they could escape the necessity of selfless love. Every single of these hell-to-heaven-levels consists of some specific temptations, and at the beginning it feels like heaven, until the long-term downsides become obvious. As with a drug like heroin, you get used to the high so the finite object cannot truly satisfy you. With every time you take it you become more addicted and the vicious circle begins. It only ends when you stop keeping it alive, by redirecting your awareness to the next level or in general to the direction to god/heaven/the absolute (the Self, the resting point of your consciousness, the no-agent-observer, the state of peace, oneness and perfection). By withdrawing your attention and energy you take away its foundation so it loses the power to control you. The latest point to be capable to do so is when you finally break down and give up everthing (which explains some enlightenment experiences at the suicide level). I think that the Buddha, the truly awakened and enlightened one is someone who has outgrown these potentially hellish stages. He has seen completely through the illusion and keeps calm inside no matter what happens around him, for he knows that every reaction to a temptation creates more hell, and the natural growing process shifts him towards heaven, so no interference is needed. He doesn't pull on the grass in order to make it grow. It’s like god always offering you increasingly better stuff in order to make you happier, but if you take it and mistake it for the best/absolute/end, god/the infinite becomes the devil/finite. A true Buddha can even resist the temptation of knowledge so he can live the authentic spontanious life, not caring about yesterday or tomorrow, but deeply caring about the here-and-now, which is recognized as perfect smooth eternity, living life full of selfless love. As Gautama Siddharta said: „There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth: Not starting, and not going all the way.“ So don’t stop on a heaven-like level, for it becomes hell one day.

Now I realized which heaven/hell lots of christians and religious people may probably experience, for they are attaching themselves to limited beliefs about god and reality. May everyone be blessed and see through the illusions, not trying to avoid a step or end it prematurely. Just let go, be calm and accept reality as it is (which does abolutely not mean to stop acting, actually you are created as an active creature with the intention to let grow love, so take care of your garden and weed the weeds!)

There’s so much more to say but I already took much of your time (thank you), so I would like to read your thoughts about it. Just write anything meaningfull that comes into your mind, I love to get inspired.

[Pouya]

@Exystem Wow... haven't look into "hell" like this before..
Really profound insights. 

and yes, there is always a deeper level of enlightenment and consciousness. Stopping won't help.

But what happened to the body after that much scratching? be careful about that from now on.

[Exystem]

@Pouya I still have this kind-of-hives-illness but I can control myself much better now not to scratch. My body is fine, it's quite resistent and I'm not a squeamish guy, so I don't really care. I see it more as an excercise, stimulus supression is an important skill and it lets grow my neocortex which is crucial for impulse control/willpower/discipline. So it will have longterm-benefits to live with it and learn not to scratch, that's why I wouldn't go to the doctor the next time, it's quite useful ;P When I meditate, I'm much less distracted by little itches so I'm thankful for the experience. Sometimes sleeping is hard, takes up to 6 hours until it works but it is an effective training. I'm very thankful for the insights and that I saw through the game of heaven and hell, knowing that every kind of avoiding temptation means flowing to heaven in longterm.

[Nahm]

@Exystem Check out Abraham Hicks.

 

[Kingston]

Well said brother

[Osaid]

You got it. Hell is attachment to ego.