Can't stop my addictions

[Shiva99]

I keep falling back into the same addiction patterns over and over again. Whenever i try to quit one thing, i get back in another one. I don't know what to do about this. I can't seem to leave the shitty addictions behind me. Right now gambling is seriously damaging me. I need to quit it. 

Edited March 13, 2020 by Shiva99

[Roy]

Here is probably the most helpful things I've found learning about how to deal with my own addictions; Self-Love

Learn to not judge yourself too harshly when you're falling back into or participating in your addictions. Acknowledge, "Hey, this is where I'm at. That's OK. People just struggle all the time, it's normal."

It's very difficult, but you must learn not to hate yourself so much for the addiction. You'll ease yourself of a lot of the suffering it causes. There is a common trap and delusional interpretation in this to watch out for; This doesn't mean be content and love your addictions and simply just give up on trying to change them.

It means learn to love yourself even when you're addicted just as much as you'd imagine loving yourself if you weren't. Learn this acceptance so when you do make the choice to move away from those addictions, you're doing it from a place of love and not hate. One of those is better than the other.

It's OK to use the pain and hate as the spark that starts the fire of healing, but don't use them as the logs to keep it going. Otherwise they will burn out too quickly and you fall back into your addiction.

I strongly urge you to consider understanding and practicing this. I struggled with addictions for many years and this was the most helpful thing by far.

 

Edited March 13, 2020 by Roy

[Epiphany_Inspired]

The typical *above the surface* tool is usually building new healthy habits (that you can learn to appreciate)/ replace the addiction based ones. Once the new habits become established for long enough (30-60 plus days), then, in theory, they can take over.

That said, the new habits may not be sustainable if you have not gone *below the surface* as well, to find the ROOT CAUSE of the addictions. This is crucial regardless

 

[Dima]

@Shiva99 , I think there is a video from Leo about addictions (if I am not mistaking, maybe it's from somewhere else) where he says that deep roots of addictions lie in our fear to meet the void within ourselves. And there is a profound exercise (tested and embodied as one of my weekly routines) - sit for an hour doing nothing. And you will find yourself anxious, craving for things, etc. But if you manage to stop demonizing this void within yourself, manage to enjoy this spending time by yourself - the deep roots of your addictions will start melting.

Another thing that directly works with your addictions (which are your behavior templates) - vipassana. Would definitely recommend that.

Good luck!

[Ananta]

On 3/13/2020 at 2:58 PM, Shiva99 said:

I keep falling back into the same addiction patterns over and over again. Whenever i try to quit one thing, i get back in another one. I don't know what to do about this. I can't seem to leave the shitty addictions behind me. Right now gambling is seriously damaging me. I need to quit it. 

Addiction starts first as a behavior that one finds enjoying for whatever reason, a conditioning that becomes patterns of behavior, then those patterns cause deep grooves of unconcious behavior that one loses the ability to say no to. 

The best approach, if able, is moderation. However, many addictions are so out of hand that abstinence is the only way out. If that's you. Then, perhaps you should never step foot in a casino again?

I quit a smoking/vaping addiction after decades. It was truly a miracle.