The issue of abuse on the forum

[Artaemis]

@Martin123 I love you <3

[Martin123]

@Artaemis yes but Still y u gotta be so rude  I mean thanks ? I don’t knowwwewew 

[Chakra Lion]

@Martin123 People are always living and expressing through the things they have learned to work best for them. When one shares that with others, it’s just in their best interest because it is what they know helps. No one gives advice they don’t personally see helpful. I’ve learned to read people’s stories that way. When they tell me what I should do or how I should think, (like I am doing to you), I’ve come to see that this is what they would do in my shoes because it worked for them. (And that worked for me so I’m sharing it) Their advice is their medicine. I can partake in it or not. If you ask for advice, prepare to be offered many varieties of healing. A Buffet of Ideas. 

[Artaemis]

@Martin123 I apologize. Sometimes I like to preach after my most recent major awakening because it SO significantly shifted how others engage with me, its ridiculous. It's still fresh and I'm still adjusting. I didn't mean to make it seem that I'm 'further along' on the path. Next time I'll try to be more careful in my approach. 

Edited March 13, 2020 by Artaemis

[SOUL]

Humanity is very abusive to the point it is blind to it, it's even normalized, not very humane. Online it's so much worse, abuse is celebrated, even more than it is in real life.

On this forum it isn't all that abusive but it still is and as a place that I would think is about healing and improving it seems like it harms more because people are coming in vulnerable.

It's like going to a therapist and having them hurt the patient. Maybe I'm asking too much but it's just a hope, not necessarily an expectation. So be it.

Edited March 13, 2020 by SOUL

[remember]

@Martin123 i see now how you have already been affected when you were posting in that thread where we collided, it was not my intention to play into this. non the less i would also like to ask you to be less harsh now to others. not everyone who goes into conflict with your healing being is a perpetrator. maybe you could accept that it’s not only your intention to heal but everyone’s intention to heal. i tried to show you that you lock yourself out from others if you constantly lock them out - this was not to be mean, it was because you use it as a threat. for me this was not much hurting, because i don’t know you, still it is very trumpish and unreflected. so how would it hurt your friends i wonder. you seem like a person swinging a sword, but you don’t make a difference anymore, you swing the sword against everyone who approaches you. its time to stop with that now. respect is something bilateral, don’t expect to get it if you lash out against everyone. try to see that help is an attempt with a good intention. if so many people want to help maybe there is a reason you have not become yet aware of. if someone offers help, most people are rather thankful even if they decline - imagine you wouldn’t get any help at all. calm that rage now, if you swing a sword against everyone someone finally will silence you.

Edited March 13, 2020 by remember

[Lento]

@remember

Will you leave him alone for fuck's sake?! You should learn to listen more instead of always trying to problem-solve. Good intentions aren't always enough. He probably just needs some space to express himself and then he'll be better.

[remember]

@Lento so this is ok then to lash out against me? i was addressed in the thread, trying to talk it out with him either he accepts that or not. i’m sure he would probably calm down more if he would understand that i did not mean to harm him. if it’s without intention he might understand that we both came from different directions and we both are people who swing swords if we encounter a fight. all i’m asking is to stop the fight now because here is no one who wants to do harm intentionally.

this is not an apology, it’s a question for peace.

Edited March 13, 2020 by remember

[Lento]

Just now, remember said:

@Lento so this is ok then to lash out against me?

Yes, because you claimed to be open to criticism.

1 minute ago, remember said:

@Lento i was addressed in the thread, trying to talk it out with him either he accepts that or not.

I thought you were trying to help. My mistake.

2 minutes ago, remember said:

@Lento if it’s without intention he might understand that we both came from different directions and we both are people who swing swords if we encounter a fight. all i’m asking is to stop the fight now because here is no one who wants to do harm intentionally.

How about surrendering your sword for love? You can't fight fire with fire.

[remember]

1 minute ago, Lento said:

How about surrendering your sword for love? You can't fight fire with fire.

to then get stabbed in the next moment, no thanks. 

i’ll try to respect him.

[Lento]

2 minutes ago, remember said:

to then get stabbed in the next moment, no thanks.

I saw you preaching against the ego, yet now it seems to be your best friend.

5 minutes ago, remember said:

i’ll try to respect him.

Just stop, please.

[remember]

@Lento it was a question for peace to him - he can answer or not, i don’t think anyone else can do that for him. that’s what respect means. respect is a form of love, just not the all accepting one. if he wants to answer to that or not is his own choice.

i just wanted to convey that to him. no harm intended.

Edited March 13, 2020 by remember

[Lento]

@remember

You're right. I'm just informing you that with this approach, you're more likely to fail than succeed. It's as if you are asking for peace by submission. It's not going to work. Instead, letting go would probably do.

[remember]

@Lento yes, that’s what i’ll do from this onward. i did not ask for submission nor am i submitting. i understand that he was hurt, he also explained what’s happening to him. i won’t start talking about my own heartbeat to not further complicate the situation, although in a sense i’m even thankful he brought the whole topic up in a more holistic sense than how people meet alone. i hope he can find some rest with that.

Edited March 13, 2020 by remember

[Lento]

[DrewNows]

hey @Martin123 do you feel you aren’t very good at receiving unsolicited advice? If so, why? Why might you feel compelled to offer your perspective but then feel unwilling to deal with any judgment/criticism of where you’re coming from? 
 

So yeah, Ive been wondering what it would take to truly consider myself a healer, and not someone who’s on the healing path. I feel we walk a similar path. I often find myself quick to defend/react when I feel threatened by a comment or response to my advice/position. Naturally I tend to come down on myself extra hard for potential mistakes or expressions that go against my created standards (morals/principles I deem worthy) and this often reflects in how I view responses (judgment/criticism) from others. 
 

So I have this personal bias or unwillingness to be wrong or seen in a certain way because of an attachment to a set of beliefs/personal story. For this reason communication directed “at me” is overlooked or quickly develops into a power struggle. I don’t realize I can only assume I fully see how someone else is viewing me because I cannot “check out” or “acknowledge myself in the mirror” in the story I tell through my advice. This is probably why I feel so drawn to the quote: “seek first to understand before being understood” or how about this one I’m making up: put your faith in me for I am you and we are one 

Anyways, sometimes I need to cling to a position because the only way I could possibly let go of this position would be to drop the story (the identity/program that’s used to verify it). At this point I feel there is a possible transition from healing to healer, a shift in oneself. All cards are on the table despite any discomforts that arises. So maybe this is how it’s possible to heal ourselves through helping others but only if there’s already an openness and willingness to be wrong and to change a story 
I consider this some deep reflection, feel free to share thoughts 

 

[Forestluv]

4 hours ago, Lento said:

This is a great example of recontextualization. 

[lmfao]

In regards to moderation, one is inquiring into the difference between exploration and "spreading misinformation".
Radically grounded , radical openness is the desired quality of this space,  as paradoxical as that sounds. 

If you default to heavy moderation, you default to assuming bad intent and intentions. I don't even mean bad in the moral sense, I mean that you assume the other person is in the incorrect orientation/mode at the very least. You create enemies where there are none. Take this thread for example 

This guy was sharing his truth, his insight (The clickbait title isn't even that bad). Instead, Leo gives a nit-picky criticism by referencing the strange loop nature of things whilst the guy here alluded to that and was receptive to a dialogue. I saw that space as great for people exchanging concepts, and then Leo terminated it. Leo used to be a big propagator of avoiding "non-duality wars" but his approach in this regard has changed. 

What's going on I think is an ultimately utilitarian endeavour towards transforming the nature of the forum. It's a "the ends justify the means" approach. Leniency leads to the water becoming poisoned, you get bogged down in trying to convert the deluded by playing the same game as them. It's a pure waste of time. And although nobody wants to hear it, not all opinions and ideas are created equal (equal in the realm of relative standards/goals that we set). Ultimately, I think the dynamic Leo is aiming for in this forum is changing a little. He's making it closer to a school or teacher-student dynamic. 
---
That being said, I agree with more decisions of his to lock a thread than I disagree with. I'm fairly aimless and scatterbrained though because when I see these threads of people e.g. ivankiss talking about the distinction between god, the absolute, consciousness it just doesn't resonate with me and I turn off. And it's mostly in those threads where people nitpick terms like these that the locking happens.  

Edited March 13, 2020 by lmfao

[tenta]

Don't expect much from this forum

A mod is allowed to screenshot anything and say it, then I am banned for doing it by someone who is triggered by a 3 day old debate

Leo and mods here will keep clinging to this tho

[Sempiternity]

Basically this is Leo's house. He built this house. You are invited to be a guest in his house. Lets say in my house you are expected to take off your shoes, clean up after yourself, and in this house we are devout Christians. If you come in leave your shoes on after being told otherwise, leave a mess, and start spouting off why Christianity is wrong, then we're going to have a talk. If these behaviors continue, you be asked to leave my home. This is Leos house, and he makes the rules of his house. He has very specific teachings of Reality/God. If you don't like it, go to someone elses house, and stop telling him how he should run his home.