Dark Night of the Soul

[kmd2020]

You could call it a collapse of perceived meaning in life... an unraveling of everything you thought you knew... a deep dive and exploration of your deep sense of meaningless... 

Sometimes it is initiated intentionally, but unless you are working with a mystic or another teacher you (like me) probably came to this dark place from an unexpected event. The death of a loved one, some type of disaster, a break up... suddenly the meaning you had given to your life collapses. I've read that going through this time feels similar to depression, although it is not the same thing, just similar symptoms. There is a deeper more meaningful experience at work, it beckons you to question everything. It feels very spiritual. Some people may experience more than one dark night in their lifetime.

I am told that on the other side of this lie better days than you could imagine. That everyone must go through this for awakening. You must make it through the dark forest to get your treasure. Mine has been brought on by the end of a relationship that technically hasn't even ended yet. I can feel it coming. I am already here though, in the darkness, running blindly and feeling so scared. This feels like the darkest time i've ever experienced, but something in me knows it's necessary. Nothing has meaning. This relationship has taken me to rock bottom and the fact that we've broken up several times before pushes me deeper. I'm left with nothing, everything is meaningless. He is the love of my life, and I have to let him go. I have to go on my own journey and face my fears of being alone.

I'm looking to connect with others going through this time as well, for support, advice... just a friend who understands.

[Recursoinominado]

 

 

 

 

34 minutes ago, kmd2020 said:

I have to go on my own journey and face my fears of being alone.

You are on the right track. 

Have been there lots of times and, looking back, it was the crumbling of an old paradigm, like a snake shedding it's skin (could hurt, i don't know), it was forcing me to face my inner fears, like an animal cornered and running was not an option anymore. This is a great thing, it means you are ready for it, most people can ignore this shit for their whole life, if you can't, i bet there is something special in you, there is enough conscious attention that the issue can't be fully ignored, hence the crisis.

The Dark Night of The Soul could also be pushing you to make some changes, and those changes could be radical changes like moving to another place, travel, doing something that scares you, pursuing your inner calling, being authentic, changing career etc. The thing that was bothering me so much was all that old stuff that served me at one point but now it doesn't seem to be coming from the deepest authentic place in myself.

I made RADICAL changes in my life, fully embraced the concept of Hero's Journey, sold everything and started an epic adventure that, to be honest, scares the hell out of me but i know, deep down, that it is the right thing to do. Intuition is a calm ever-present voice inside, easy to ignore in the short-term but when you raise your consciousness high enough, it gets so obvious that ignore it instantly seems "off", something is wrong, you just feel it, it brings unease.

So, you got cornered, the question is, are you going to ignore it or take the leap?

[Thomas_VH]

8 hours ago, kmd2020 said:

I have to go on my own journey and face my fears of being alone.

Simply realizing this, and knowing what you are going through is a huge step in the right direction. I hope to see you soon on the other side of the forest, counting your treasures and blessings. Good luck my friend.

[NatureB]

I can't say I've truly been there myself. What I can say is that at the other side of letting go is beauty. Any relationship that I've had to let go of, I wouldn't want it back in a million years. I am a different person now and you will be too.