Avoidance of Necessary Suffering is the Root of all Mental Illness

[BETGR164128]

8 hours ago, Martin123 said:

What a wonderful way to re-frame victim blaming, you're quite skilled with words, well done.
 

Did you just call Carl Jung a crack pot? Oh boy That's an interesting judgement you got there. Nicely done, thanks for being so passionate about such subject matter. I am sure there are many more judgments you share with others with equal passion. How intriguing. 

The problem you have is that there is nothing wrong with getting raped or being bullied by a narcissist parent. It's all a matter of perspective. Abuse doesn't actually exist, because the person calling it abuse have their own biases. This is why you're an ideologue, you cling to stories about your nervous system and all that stuff, and if anyone says something that goes against your ideology you have to attack. Gaslighting doesn't exist either for the very same reason. I could turn your own ego game on you and say that your behaviour here is abusive and you're gaslighting me. But I can't because I just don't believe that these positions are real. They are relative and ultimately non existent. It's a dream you're caught in 

[BETGR164128]

8 hours ago, Martin123 said:

And that would be an example of the avoidance, thanks for a skillful demonstration. 

Avoidance of what? Avoidance of your story? Nothing happened for anyone to avoid. Im not avoiding anything because in my head there is no abuse. It's only in your head that you think these things are real. I just think this isn't the place for you, you should be in a therapy group solidifying that collective story with those interested in accepting the narrative you have for them.  

[Forestluv]

As a general reminder: it is fine to disagree with others on the forum, yet please do so in a respectful manner. Personalizing attacks and inflammatory posts to incite emotional responses are a form of trolling, against forum guidelines and may receive warnings. 

Common excuses include: "I was just joking" , "I was just telling him/her the truth", "S/he is too sensitive", "S/he started it". . . Please consider both your intention and the impact on other and the forum community. Behave in a mature, respectful manner to your fellow forum members.

As well, there may be areas in which you have had deep realizations that may now seem obvious to you - yet someone else on the forum may not have had this realization and doesn't "get it". Please don't be judgmental and condescending in these situations. Imagine what you were like before your realization. 

[Commodent]

No suffering is necessary.

"Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional."

- Haruki Murakami

[IJB063]

@Commodent Suffering definition -

11 hours ago, Commodent said:

"Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional."

"The state of undergoing pain, distress, or hardship."

I don't understand your point

Who has lived a life and not suffered

[Commodent]

@IJB063 The people who made that definition probably thought that pain and suffering are synonymous. It's not.

You can never free yourself from pain. However, by letting go of your resistance to pain you will be freed from suffering. Suffering is resistance to what is, which is gone when you start seeing the inherent beauty in pain and all that exists.

[IJB063]

@Commodent Sure, I understand what you're saying now

Personally when I meditate, when in pain, and focus on the sensation of pain, that pain ameliorates its self

But isn't letting go of the resistance to suffering in a sense suffering

As its very difficult to summon the will to willing focus on pain

[Commodent]

2 hours ago, IJB063 said:

But isn't letting go of the resistance to suffering in a sense suffering

When people try to "let go" of resistance as a way of avoiding suffering then it is indeed suffering. It's the same resisting mechanism.

Letting go of resistance is ultimately a form of surrender. "I have tried everything and there is nothing I can do. I surrender". Even resistance and suffering can be surrendered to, so this runs pretty deep.

Surrendering is not really a doing. It's more of an attitude, that of aligning with what is. Instead of resisting resistance, allow yourself to resist with your entire being. Align yourself with your inherent freedom to experience whatever you are currently experiencing, which is joyful in a way that far ecompasses whatever suffering might be going on in the moment.

That is what liberation is. The recognition that you are free to suffer, just like you are free to be well.

Edited March 12, 2020 by Commodent