Am I going anywhere by meditating a few times a day for 30 minutes?

[Jo96]

I don’t know I’ve had the thought recently that I am just cycling between different states of consciousness. That I really do not truly want to wake up or realize anything. Seems to me that I have Zero motivation to awaken and yet at the same time the only thing that drives me to awaken is fear, which is conversely the same thing that holds me back.  Stuck in a loop ?

[Roy]

Consider using that negative motivation (fear) to drive some discipline into you. If that's what you need to get started that ok. A lot of people only start this kind of journey because of some bad event or pain they experienced, and they're looking for something more or something else.

Once you're in the journey for a little while that motivation might come more organically to you. You never know if you don't try though so....

Sit your ass down and meditate solider!

[ElenaO]

Of course! Even 30 minutes a day would take you somewhere, no doubt. Just keep doing it consistently and you'll see the results. They are subtle though and may not not immediately notice them. 
I have had rough few weeks when I had to be away from home on the weekends for a course which was very draining and I did not meditate on those days. And I see the consequences now. I am so ungrounded and falling into behaviours I wouldn't usually that much would I have meditated. Sigh. Now I am trying to get myself back into meditation routine but there's resistance, of course. However, the results are so worth it. It's just some pain in the beginning you have to push through. 

[electroBeam]

51 minutes ago, Jo96 said:

I don’t know I’ve had the thought recently that I am just cycling between different states of consciousness. That I really do not truly want to wake up or realize anything. Seems to me that I have Zero motivation to awaken and yet at the same time the only thing that drives me to awaken is fear, which is conversely the same thing that holds me back.  Stuck in a loop ?

You will not be going anywhere no matter what you do hahahha.

You need to reconnect with joy, inspiration and passion. Go take Leo's life purpose course, or do Nahm's dream board stuff.

Enlightenment, or at the very least, what you truly mean by enlightenment, is not separate, or above life purpose, its at the same level.

[Raptorsin7]

@Jo96 30 minutes twice per day sounds pretty solid.

What other practices are you doing? How far along the path would you consider yourself?

[Consilience]

Most definitely. The way a focused, congruent, and unified mind experiences life vs a distracted one is vast. If you cant sit for 60 minutes straight without letting your attention span wander aimlessly from thought to thought, your mind is unfocused, incongruent, and divided, at least not as fully aligned with itself as it could be. This functioning of mind starts to become extremely conducive for permanent spiritual insights to occur. Keep going. Id personally recommend the meditation system outlined in a book called “The Mind Illuminated” but most any meditation will work towards this end. 

[molosku]

KEEP GOING. And observe your doubt In vipassana (and I guess many other style) doubt is recognized as one of the "enemies" of meditation. You have already overcome other enemies, such as laziness, as you do actually meditate. Keep going, and if you really some day realize it is not working, change it. 

[Arzack]

It all depends on "your soul spiritual level". If you had many incarnations intensive meditation may work in the long run (it's ok to start with 30 min, but don't expect nirvana with that low level of commitment). But anyway, even if you were a "very old soul" you'd attain much faster with psychedelics (non high-level old souls need psychedelics or they have to reincarnate multiple times). All sources in my signature.

[Aaron p]

Clump your practises together, more power. Oh, and...forget everything

[Jo96]

5 hours ago, Raptorsin7 said:

@Jo96 30 minutes twice per day sounds pretty solid.

What other practices are you doing? How far along the path would you consider yourself?

I do kriya yoga and chanting. Throughout the day I try to stay aware of my consciousness rather than in my thoughts. I have no idea how far along I am. I’m not sure how I would know that? 

[Jo96]

53 minutes ago, Arzack said:

It all depends on "your soul spiritual level". If you had many incarnations intensive meditation may work in the long run (it's ok to start with 30 min, but don't expect nirvana with that low level of commitment). But anyway, even if you were a "very old soul" you'd attain much faster with psychedelics (non high-level old souls need psychedelics or they have to reincarnate multiple times). All sources in my signature.

Do you have any suggestions to get the most out of trip. I’ve done a few and I feel I almost always hit a wall with fear and I sorta chicken out when I’m suppose to be surrendering into the experience 

[Arzack]

10 minutes ago, Jo96 said:

Do you have any suggestions to get the most out of trip. I’ve done a few and I feel I almost always hit a wall with fear and I sorta chicken out when I’m suppose to be surrendering into the experience 

At the right/high dosages, you have no control over the trip. So my guess is that you took lower doses (a good/safe experiment to make when you start with psycs). Other than taking high enough dosages to "brekthough", my only other advice is to be careful if you take rectal 5-meo or lsd, because the come-up is slower than smoked/vaped 5-meo, so there's gonna be a small part of the trip when you'll feel very bad but still have the capacity to move around, so you might commit suicide (this happened to me and I was lucky but it's well documented that some people died from this). 

So the best advice is to take high doses (not smoked) and lock yourself with a lock with timer and handcuffs to something solid. BUY A LOCK WITH TIMER [like this one] (https://www.amazon.com/Hours-Max-Timing-Lock-Rechargeable/dp/B07G2BBDPM) (set it to 1-2 hours for rectal 5-Meo, 4-5 for LSD/mushrooms) AND LOCK YOURSELF TO IT WITH HANDCUFFS LOCKED TO SOMETHING SOLID.

Edited March 7, 2020 by Arzack

[Jo96]

8 minutes ago, Arzack said:

So the best advice is to take high doses (not smoked) and lock yourself with a lock with timer and handcuffs to something solid. BUY A LOCK WITH TIMER [like this one] (https://www.amazon.com/Hours-Max-Timing-Lock-Rechargeable/dp/B07G2BBDPM) (set it to 1-2 hours for rectal 5-Meo, 4-5 for LSD/mushrooms) AND LOCK YOURSELF TO IT WITH HANDCUFFS LOCKED TO SOMETHING SOLID.

 Here I am doing my wimpy morning afternoon and evening meditations. Jesus Christ dude... 

[Preety_India]

 

 

It's not about going anywhere. It's about being. 

 

 

 

[Arzack]

18 minutes ago, Jo96 said:

 Here I am doing my wimpy morning afternoon and evening meditations. Jesus Christ dude... 

I know man... It's fucked up isn't it? But look at reality right now (google Venezuela on wikipedia) and especially in the past before global peace and medicine weren't a thing... Intense suffering is real, even for us: we think pain killers assisted clinical death is peaceful but check my signature website and you'll find that eventually all of us will go through that shit after death (this fear is not all bad though, it's the biggest pull to gather the courage to take high doses psychedelics and go from boredom to bliss).

But I feel you bro... I'm currently the first one to say "fuck that shit" and I'm not taking high doses myself too.

Edited March 7, 2020 by Arzack

[Jo96]

19 minutes ago, Arzack said:

I know man... It's fucked up isn't it? But look at reality right now (google Venezuela on wikipedia) and especially in the past before global peace and medicine weren't a thing... Intense suffering is real, even for us: we think pain killers assisted clinical death is peaceful but check my signature website and you'll find that eventually all of us will go through that shit after death (this fear is not all bad though, it's the biggest pull to gather the courage to take high doses psychedelics and go from boredom to bliss).

But I feel you bro... I'm currently the first one to say "fuck that shit" and I'm not taking high doses myself too.

Do you believe that stuff mentioned about when you die how your soul feels itself being cremated and you are also starving/ withdrawing from all your attachments ? What evidence would you point to that says this? Or is this just your experiences from trips ect ? 

[Arzack]

@Jo96

Besides the intense suffering I felt when doing high doses (and still not enough to breakthrough, but close to it), the sources explaining the after-death process are to be trusted imho. They are channeled from guides/higher beings. And anyway, check the Michael Teachings on that website (they are channeled too), it seems pretty obvious to me that those souls attained actualization by going through many deaths/reincarnations where the soul travels through the same astral plane reached with high doses psychedelics. Check the reports of people who did astral travel meditations (on youtube), it's terrifying and you get back in the body almost immediately; that's why psychedelics are needed for most people (non high-level old souls/many incarnations), they force you to stay there like you'd be forced to after death.

Edited March 7, 2020 by Arzack

[Arzack]

Also, check near death experiences reports on youtube, most people (high level old souls go directly to bliss/heaven) literally go to hell (not eternal though, so let's call it purgatory, thank God).

Edited March 7, 2020 by Arzack

[Javfly33]

 

2 hours ago, Arzack said:

 

So the best advice is to take high doses (not smoked) and lock yourself with a lock with timer and handcuffs to something solid. BUY A LOCK WITH TIMER [like this one] (https://www.amazon.com/Hours-Max-Timing-Lock-Rechargeable/dp/B07G2BBDPM) (set it to 1-2 hours for rectal 5-Meo, 4-5 for LSD/mushrooms) AND LOCK YOURSELF TO IT WITH HANDCUFFS LOCKED TO SOMETHING SOLID.

@Arzack You could always crush your head against whatever solid you have locked yoursefl too.

The wisest thing is to have a physical stronger than you experienced trip sitter.

What happened to you with 5-MeO by the way.

[Arzack]

52 minutes ago, Javfly33 said:

 

@Arzack You could always crush your head against whatever solid you have locked yoursefl too.

The wisest thing is to have a physical stronger than you experienced trip sitter.

What happened to you with 5-MeO by the way.

About crushing your head: at that point of the trip you don't have the strength to do it (if it's as "easy" as jumping out of a high story building or fast moving car/train you risk doing it though). What happened to me is that I live at the ground floor, so I took my car to drive to the nearby train station with the intent of jumping in front of a train. I drove at full speed and I had to brake when approaching a difficult turn with a car coming in my direction. So I had to push on the brake and I destroyed my car but I was lucky to get little injuries.

About the sitter: ok, this is not easy to find though (proportional to your body size).

"What happened to you?" Like actual awakening, you can't transmit these intense feelings with words, it's like trying to explain what a certain food tastes to someone who never tried it. The best words are "intense suffering", mostly intense panic/terror; "overwhelming pain/suffering" is another good word to describe it.

Edited March 7, 2020 by Arzack