Losing mind

[electroBeam]

1. I have extreme levels of bliss that are crazily and chaotically disrupting my focus, sense of reality and motor function.

2. I keep having moments, every 2 to 5 minutes, of forgetting who i am, what just happened, my history, forgetting the physical universe, etc.

3. I have totally forgotten what death is. If someone gets shot in front of my i would not give a fuck. ive totally forgotten who my friends and family are. They all just seem like me.

 

I need help. Who knows a good online rasa, spiritual or reiki healer i can have a session with?

I suspect, but not sure, i somehow contemplated my way into a premature kundalini awakening. Even though ive only taken psychedelics once in the past, i feel like I somehow contemplated myself into a big psychedelic trip. And its not going away.

[Inliytened1]

19 minutes ago, electroBeam said:

1. I have extreme levels of bliss that are crazily and chaotically disrupting my focus, sense of reality and motor function.

2. I keep having moments, every 2 to 5 minutes, of forgetting who i am, what just happened, my history, forgetting the physical universe, etc.

3. I have totally forgotten what death is. If someone gets shot in front of my i would not give a fuck. ive totally forgotten who my friends and family are. They all just seem like me.

 

I need help. Who knows a good online rasa, spiritual or reiki healer i can have a session with?

I suspect, but not sure, i somehow contemplated my way into a premature kundalini awakening. Even though ive only taken psychedelics once in the past, i feel like I somehow contemplated myself into a big psychedelic trip. And its not going away.

Yes this is a Kundalini awakening and a mystical experience.  A shifting between duality and non-duality.  I have experienced it.  It is awakening.   It could last a few days.  The materialist paradigm may shatter here it just depends on what you become conscious of.     Your consciousness levels are probably elevated as well.

[electroBeam]

@Inliytened1 Cool, just casually forget who you are and what just happened and how death is even possible for the next few days hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

[Preety_India]

 

Do you think you need a psychiatrist? 

 

 

 

[electroBeam]

1 minute ago, Preety_India said:

 

Do you think you need a psychiatrist? 

 

 

 

fuck no if i get a psychiatrist then im royally fucked hahahhahahhaahahahahahhahha

[Roy]

If you feel it's going to seriously or inevitably interfere with your responsibilities and survival, search for online help.

Otherwise, try to get out of your mind and thoughts trying to rationalize and understand the experience like it's a science. Just observe it with as little judgement or reaction as possible. Feel into it.

Permit yourself a few days to pass through it.

[calibrate]

Which chakra does the bliss emanate from?

[calibrate]

If youve really awakened your kundalini then you have no choice but to stick to a daily meditation habit. It will balance the increased light in you. The alternative doesnt look too pretty. I wouldnt wish a kundalini awakening on my worst enemy

[electroBeam]

Update:

I posted here yesterday because I was having severe psychotic symptoms accompanied with extreme chaotic levels of bliss. Who I was, what time period I was in, what objects are, what space is, kept being forgotten every 2 to 5 minutes, and I felt like I was being transported to different dimensions and totally forgetting the dimension I was in the past. Motor function lost control for a few moments completely. It was like being in the last scenes of 2001 space odyssey. Fortunately it has passed now.

Key learnings/change in consciousness:

1. became fully aware that there are actually 3 things operating right now: the body, mind and YOU; Who you actually are. You are creating the entire universe including the body and mind. The body and mind are tiny subsets of you.

2. As a corollary to 1, while the body is a subset of you, paradoxically, you are not the body. I now have a very strange ability to completely dis-identify with the body at will, just by focusing awareness on the body's sensations, physical look, and becoming aware that the body is made of consciousness, like everything, and that's me. I got a sense that this has very strong advantages to loosing weight and completely eliminating body image issues. As you are not the body, the physical appearance of the body does not affect self esteem. Also negative sensations with the body are not affecting happiness. Discomfort is not affecting me as I am not the body. Fear of death can be reduced, if not eliminated with dis-identifying with the body, as the body may be destroyed, but I am not the body. 

I became very aware that I do not want sex, the body wants sex, and I thought I wanted sex because I identified with the body. If you don't identify with the body, you don't want sex, your body wants sex. That's paradoxically does not mean you will never have sex, it means you will have sex for the sake of the body, not because you want it.

3. As a corollary to 1, the mind is the ego, and the ego is YOU getting sucked into thinking you are not you, but instead are apart of you. The ego is micro flashes of thoughts (falsehood or things pretending to be true but aren't true) which very subtly suck you into thinking those things are real for split seconds. If you have enough of them going on in awareness, you can maintain a sense that partiality is real, and wholeness is false. This is what people on here probably refer to as egoic consciousness. 

I became very aware that I do not care about how I look, how smart I am, etc. This is what the mind/ego cares about, and its what I want if I identify with the ego/mind. If you don't identify with the ego, then you don't want it. Paradoxically though that does not mean you will not care about survival of the mind anymore, you will, but on behalf of the mind, not on behalf of you. 

by the way, in this post I use I, me and you as interchangeable, because in reality they are interchangeable. 

4. As a corollary to 2 and 3, the mind and body have their own needs and wants, and communicate that through feelings and sensations. while you are not the body and the mind, the body and mind are designed in such a way that they communicate what's necessary for them to survive or do what they want to do. If you are in egoic consciousness, you can actually believe that you are the body and mind (hahahaha) and then because you are the body and mind you literally feel you need to do everything the body and mind wants, because that's what you want, and you are the most important thing in the universe. This is the heart of neurotic behaviours. Having survival needs from the body and mind, and fulfilling them because you identify with the body and mind. 

5. As an addon to 4, you (or god whatever you want to call yourself) also have wants and desires for the body and mind, but may have trouble communicating them if you identify with the body and mind instead of you. You have a very holistic, unified drive for a direction, which includes the body, mind, world, different universes, the whole thing, and the body and mind are small cogs in that big picture of what you want. If you can get out of egoic consciousness, you can align the mind and body to what you want, and this is pure joy and happiness. Your body and mind's desires, are deeply distorted representations of what you want. If you contemplate your body image issues enough, you will contemplate your way to your(gods) wants. And see that the body image issues was a badly described way of communicating you're not in line with what you (god) wants, as a whole.

Some personal things:

1. I had a strong pressure and energy located in the 3rd eye for like 2 weeks and it was getting stronger. I dismissed/ignored it because I thought it was an innocent sensation. It is now clear to me that this sensation was a signal of a future psychotic episode, and chaotic bliss, and if I took that signal as a sign that I must prepare myself for such an episode, things would have happened much more smoothly. 

2. I've been searching for psychedelics for past 12 months, and am actively finding them. I feel like this experience was a preparation for my entrance into the field of psychedelics. I've taken 1 psychedelic in the past and there were a lot of similarities to what happened on that trip and this experience.

3. I now want to discover/contemplate more on the body, mind and soul/me and how these guys relate, and how best to control the body and mind to do what I want. Not what the body and mind wants. I'm still not an expert in this, but that will be my focus for the next few weeks.

4. I'm now aware that I'm creating the reality around me, but I am not aware as to why I created this reality around me in the first place. That's another point of contemplation for me (or if I get psychedelics sooner than later, a question for them). EDIT: If I'm god, why can't I just make a Lamborghini pop up in front of me? Because 'doing' is an illusion/imaginary. Therefore God cannot do, because doing does not exist, God can only imagine to be in a universe (physical) where doing is seemingly(pretend) possible, and do as an actor in that universe. All God can do is Be, and therefore making a Lamborghini pop out of nowhere does not make sense absolutely. 

5. While I'm aware that I am not the mind and body, I can very very very very easily slip into thinking I'm the mind and body for short milliseconds. Its very easy to slip into thinking you're the mind and body and you must put effort into placing awareness on the mind, body, and you(self aware) to maintain a sense of God consciousness. This may explain why some enlightened masters do silly things like make cults or rape, etc. So another goal of mine is to continue to maintain a sense of awareness 24/7. This also explains how you can slip back into thinking you're an ant: its easy, just stop meditating hahaha. 

6. Enlightened teachers who refuse to say I, me, or you, or speak in 3rd person are idiots hahaahahahahahahhaha. Because you do exist lool. 

 

EDIT: fuck its happening again. Massive surge of energy just exploded my brain and I forgot who I was again. And I'm forgetting what's going on. Fuck.

Wooooooow massive wave of energy, just engulfed everything. Soon this post will not be identifiable by me, and I will not recognise who wrote it. 

I better write the time is 3:41pm Sunday so I don't forget. 

Edited March 8, 2020 by electroBeam

[Nahm]

Dualistic thinking is not the same as intuition & insights which arise from feeling, which arises of self-love. 

Try to notice the nuance difference between voluntary thinking aka ‘figuring out’...and the allowing, the natural arising. 

All me / not me, ego or not ego....it’s all voluntary thinking, One trying to resolve Two, when there aren’t two to begin with. None of that thinking is necessary.  It is self referential voluntary thinking, and as you said, there’s no ‘doing’. 

You’ve recognized it conceptually, and are beginning to notice you’re still doing it, imo. Relax, never rush. Let the body release everyday. 

Siddhis and such are in this nuanced distinction of experience. As of course, is oodles of well being & self-love. 

[electroBeam]

5 hours ago, Nahm said:

All me / not me, ego or not ego....it’s all voluntary thinking, One trying to resolve Two, when there aren’t two to begin with. None of that thinking is necessary.  It is self referential voluntary thinking, and as you said, there’s no ‘doing’. 

Yep its trying to resolve the 2 because the paradox is the body and mind is living in time, space, has a career, goals, survival needs, yet you are frozen in time/beyond time, space, survival, etc.

And its just like, what do you do with that? 

Yes it might feel like there is no time, its eternal, everything is the same, its all you, etc. But then there's food needs, there is you going through time because you're always looking at a clock, etc.

Maybe this is just some sort of weird limbo between non duality and duality.

 

The above post is dualistic, but thats because its a pragmatic plan for how to improve my life, rather than stating the truth.

Edited March 8, 2020 by electroBeam

[Nahm]

16 minutes ago, electroBeam said:

The above post is dualistic, but thats because its a pragmatic plan for how to improve my life, rather than stating the truth.

It’s all Good and all beautiful in my opinion. Catapillers and butterflies, so to speak.  

16 minutes ago, electroBeam said:

Yep its trying to resolve the 2 because the paradox is the body and mind is living in time, space, has a career, goals, survival needs, yet you are frozen in time/beyond time, space, survival, etc.

And its just like, what do you do with that? 

Yes it might feel like there is no time, its eternal, everything is the same, its all you, etc. But then there's food needs, there is you going through time because you're always looking at a clock, etc.

Maybe this is just some sort of weird limbo between non duality and duality.

Keep buildin that cocoon.  And when it feels timely, or natural, intriguing...continue inspection. It does ultimately all “resolve” / is One...but if enjoyment, loving the experience of now is lost, there’s no point. There’s some highs and lows, no doubt, but that is It as well. 

[electroBeam]

@Nahm Cool! Awesome! Thanks! Im planning to try psychedelics, would this be good or bad for the cocoon in your opinion? Help make it stronger or smash it to pieces?

[Raptorsin7]

@electroBeam Wow good work man. Holy shit you are advancing quickly.

I work with @Nahm 1-1, and I think working with someone who's enlightened is hugely important on the path. I 10/10 would recommend you work with him, or find a teacher who you resonate better with.

[electroBeam]

12 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

 

I work with @Nahm 1-1, and I think working with someone who's enlightened is hugely important on the path. I 10/10 would recommend you work with him, or find a teacher who you resonate better with.

Thanks for the advice dude!

A deep, kept secret a lot of people on here don't know, is that I had a session with Nahm back when i was almost suicidal, and I practiced a thing he taught, and as soon as i did that, all of this weird shit started happening hahahahahhahahahah

EDIT/DISCLAIMER: Nahm's advice has helped me generate levels of bliss unimaginable, just from 1 session which was about my career and getting over suicidal thoughts, rather than spirituality. Definitely recommend him and not trying to say if you practice his stuff you will become psychotic. This is just personal to me.

Edited March 8, 2020 by electroBeam

[Nahm]

2 hours ago, electroBeam said:

@Nahm Cool! Awesome! Thanks! Im planning to try psychedelics, would this be good or bad for the cocoon in your opinion? Help make it stronger or smash it to pieces?

No idea really ?

Maybe small manageable amounts at first, and then you’ll know. 
 

Thanks for the disclaimer by the way! lol

@Raptorsin7 ♥️??