Alone In The House

[DizIzMikey]

So I'm alone in the house... I've noticed that I totally feel empty as if, I don't feel anything with no one around... 

This whole time I've been feeling other people's problems.. like it wasn't me...

The people around me are TOXIC...

Am I to own there problems????

They've been fucking me over in this household filled with there emotional problems and baggage....

Am I to claim there feelings as my own when they are around?

I feel hurt....or is it even me feeling hurt???

I can only speak for myself but I feel  now.. like I've been speaking for everyone else...

They project there stupid ignorant hurt feelings on me... 

Are they hurt aspects of me? I am surrounded by childish people!!!!!!!!

Going to meditate for another 2 hours..

I'm not a monster like they say I am.....

My grandpa is nuts, my wife is in torment

My step son is confused and my daughter still has that purity

I am hurt... I am hurt by all that project there own Bull onto me..

I was never the coward I feel...

A little help or advice would be appreciated.

[Zephyr]

My advice is appreciate the beauty of all it, man. 

 

[DizIzMikey]

@Zephyr true had to vent first though ... hehe thank you for your time. I needed it ?

[Flicker_boy]

@DizIzMikey you know man, you can get really good in the art of not letting others bs affect you, specially with meditation

[DizIzMikey]

@Lorenzo Engel yeah  

Thank you for your support 

The greatest trick the devil ever created was making you believe his pain was yours. 

 

[Mal]

@DizIzMikey Hi Mikey, 

Question (if you like)?

I see you have been struggling with this.  And I'd like to offer some different advice, well,not advice, but a question that will hopefully point you in the right direction and will end your suffering.  First you must be willing to go through some authentic suffering first.  

Q)  What is it in you that's causing you to express yourself like this? (Extreme annoyance at the people around you)

OK, yeah your environment is toxic.  There are some people who are ok with this, they are unaffected by it.  They don't have anything special, they are not enlightened, and they didn't have to "change their attitude" to suit other people.

They became aware of something inside themselves.  

Painful expression is a result of a "re"-pression.  What are you hiding from yourself that is making you present yourself in this way?

Mal

[Key Elements]

@DizIzMikey

Being in a family means sacrifice, but obviously, you already know that. Sacrifice is its middle name. You could either walk away (for a short break, of course), or say, "bring it on!" I'd go with the latter (with dignity & meditation of course). You're doing just fine. Be strong.

[Emerald]

5 hours ago, DizIzMikey said:

So I'm alone in the house... I've noticed that I totally feel empty as if, I don't feel anything with no one around... 

This whole time I've been feeling other people's problems.. like it wasn't me...

The people around me are TOXIC...

Am I to own there problems????

They've been fucking me over in this household filled with there emotional problems and baggage....

Am I to claim there feelings as my own when they are around?

I feel hurt....or is it even me feeling hurt???

I can only speak for myself but I feel  now.. like I've been speaking for everyone else...

They project there stupid ignorant hurt feelings on me... 

Are they hurt aspects of me? I am surrounded by childish people!!!!!!!!

Going to meditate for another 2 hours..

I'm not a monster like they say I am.....

My grandpa is nuts, my wife is in torment

My step son is confused and my daughter still has that purity

I am hurt... I am hurt by all that project there own Bull onto me..

I was never the coward I feel...

A little help or advice would be appreciated.

My advice is to trust the pain in your life and don't resist it. Adopt the view that 'everything is perfect exactly the way it is' because it is a manifestation of the existential self (aka god, source, allah, etc.). There are no mistakes.

So, consider that you are not the self that you've identified with but that you are the creator, contents, and container for everything in your field of awareness. So, everything in your life comes purposefully from the "higher self". The higher self is who you actually are once you realize that the "I" is an illusion. It is the emptiness from which everything in reality is born. Existentially, that is what enlightened people live as. They live as the higher self which creates reality perfectly.

So, just be aware of how your family projects things onto you without making it bad or wrong. Remember, that at the deepest level, you are the creator of the reality that you're living in a very literal way. And it's manifested perfectly to help the expansion of the higher self. So, even if it feels wrong or bad to you, it is still exactly as it should be. But once you accept your reality and hold it in your awareness without invalidating it, life usually starts to change.

But on the more practical level, consider also that you could make changes in order to make life more livable. You can talk to your family members and ask that they not do this by respectfully bringing up your feelings. You could leave the situation, although I don't necessarily recommend it because kids are involved. But at the end of the day, this is all you can do. You don't have direct control over what others do. Just try to accept it and understand that 1. Reality is always perfect even if it isn't preferable. 2. Your thoughts and meanings you ascribe to the situation are what causes your suffering. 3. People are often unconscious and that's okay too. 4. You have the power to make changes even if it makes waves.

Edited June 22, 2016 by Emerald Wilkins

[charlie2dogs]

5 hours ago, DizIzMikey said:

So I'm alone in the house... I've noticed that I totally feel empty as if, I don't feel anything with no one around... 

This whole time I've been feeling other people's problems.. like it wasn't me...

The people around me are TOXIC...

Am I to own there problems????

They've been fucking me over in this household filled with there emotional problems and baggage....

Am I to claim there feelings as my own when they are around?

I feel hurt....or is it even me feeling hurt???

I can only speak for myself but I feel  now.. like I've been speaking for everyone else...

They project there stupid ignorant hurt feelings on me... 

Are they hurt aspects of me? I am surrounded by childish people!!!!!!!!

Going to meditate for another 2 hours..

I'm not a monster like they say I am.....

My grandpa is nuts, my wife is in torment

My step son is confused and my daughter still has that purity

I am hurt... I am hurt by all that project there own Bull onto me..

I was never the coward I feel...

A little help or advice would be appreciated.

my advice is no advice, you are where you are supposed to be, remember that statement 

[Flicker_boy]

37 minutes ago, DizIzMikey said:

@Lorenzo Engel yeah  

Thank you for your support 

The greatest trick the devil ever created was making you believe his pain was yours. 

 

just a follow up here cause its relevant.

don't take what I've said as a permission slip to react against their bs, thats not the point here. you can play this game a long time and it will only get worse.

instead, see their conditioning and patterns, forgive them and go on doing your things. don't react, even on the mind level. FEEL what their words look like- instead of feeling then thinking then feeling about your thoughts and so on. the buddha said: "if you bring me a present and I don't accept it, then you take the present home". let their actions be reflected back to them by adoptiong a non-reactive posture (being-perception) and sure in time you will start to enjoy the healthy effects of this new mindset.

if you choose to feel insead of reacting you stop the cycle at the root. if you choose to react (by action or thought), you'll carry that feeling with you for some time.

Edited June 22, 2016 by Lorenzo Engel