Helping Others Vs Letting Them Be Who They Are

[Electron]

I have a lot of people around me that are not even aware of this self-help stuff and some of them are close enough that I care about them. My dad for example is an alcoholic and he stuff himself up with junk food all the time and he has a whole other bunch of bad habits. I can clearly see patterns of self-sabotage in him as if he wants to just shut himself down while stoning himself with pleasures.  

There are many other people apart from my dad who I know very well and at times I know what their problems are and how to help them but i just let it go and concentrate on my own life. 

I feel weird not helping them but I also know that its not in my ability to help them change for it is a feat that requires a lot of time and patience and more importantly most of them are not even ready for a change. I don't like that they are missing the real good things about life and wasting away the one life they got which sometimes compel me to share what I know. I don't find it noble to just let them suffer and I know I can't really help them change as I too am very short on time for my own stuff. 

What are your views about this?

 

Edited June 22, 2016 by Electron

[Pelin]

I once read in a book something like this: If someone doesn't understand without being told, they won't understand when they are told. I thought about this a lot, it sometimes just proves itself. My father is just like yours, and sometimes even if he says "I need to be healthier" from the outside (cause he kinda has to, he has the prostate cancer at an early stage), but on the inside I know nothing people say can help him quit his bad habits. He has to see it for himself somehow.

But sometimes there are some people, I think nearly everyone in this community, who needs just a small push/reality check to start questioning and realizing. Maybe you need to check it out, what I see is there are some people who are worth it and some not at all.

Edited June 24, 2016 by Pelin
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[charlie2dogs]

On 6/22/2016 at 1:27 PM, Electron said:

I have a lot of people around me that are not even aware of this self-help stuff and some of them are close enough that I care about them. My dad for example is an alcoholic and he stuff himself up with junk food all the time and he has a whole other bunch of bad habits. I can clearly see patterns of self-sabotage in him as if he wants to just shut himself down while stoning himself with pleasures.  

There are many other people apart from my dad who I know very well and at times I know what their problems are and how to help them but i just let it go and concentrate on my own life. 

I feel weird not helping them but I also know that its not in my ability to help them change for it is a feat that requires a lot of time and patience and more importantly most of them are not even ready for a change. I don't like that they are missing the real good things about life and wasting away the one life they got which sometimes compel me to share what I know. I don't find it noble to just let them suffer and I know I can't really help them change as I too am very short on time for my own stuff. 

What are your views about this?

 

help those who need help and want help.  Stay away from belief systems, let them be, you will never defeat a belief system, it is programing.

to often people have this idea that they want to save the world and havent saved themselves, and end up laying a lot of nonsense on other people and even creating more problems for them

[Pelin]

@Electron

while I was reading the four agreements companion book today, I came across this q&a. I think it might be useful: