Does Work A Relationship Between Extrovert And Introvert?

[clytaemnestra]

Hi. I wonder what do you think and if you have any experience on this topic? Is it possible to work or eventually there'll be major misunderstandings? The reason why I'm asking this is because I'm an introvert and I'm attracted to extroverts and I was in a relationship with one and it didn't work so I'm a bit afraid and I wonder in my future will other my relationships with extroverts work or in every there are barriers that are bigger than in an ex-ex or in-in relationship? Did you have positive or negative experience with extrovert-introvert relationship?

So, it didn't work because whenever I say I see one problem and we should work on it, he says that the major problem is that I'm not spending all my time with friends and outside the house like he does, but instead I sit and think about us and the problem is my thinking, and we shouldn't think about problems, but ignore them, relax and go with the flow. For me, it's not a solution, but covering the symptoms. Also, he kept on calling me anti-social for having just one friend who with I hang out, but the thing is I have many acquaintance and I'm not anti-social, it's just that in my spare time (what I don't have too much since I study and work) I prefer spending it with people I really care about or being alone and reading, watching movies, cycling, jogging and so on. And there is a list of many things he kept on telling me that I'm wrong and all the problems I cause. It's obvious that a guy is toxic and a bit narrow-minded for not accepting me the way I am and willing to change me by blaming me for everything that happens, so at the end I left him after two years because I felt too much negativity and guilt in that relationship no matter how hard I try to communicate and talk with him and now I'm full of love for myself and I'm ready to love someone else, but I just wonder about general opinion about this topic, i.e. about relationship between extrovert and introvert.  

[Donald]

@clytaemnestra Psychoanalysis can be very helpful in this topic. We like things that are familiars to us . In childhood we created early and simplistic maps of how love works .

Ex. Maybe our mother was cold and distant but at the same time she loved us . So we create" patterns "of how love should be . Notice that it can be conscious or unconscious. In our early phases of life we had models of love and how being loved should be . We create "pain-love" association  (familiarity). But what has this to do with the character traits? It has everything to do . We seek in our partners those "familiar" traits , those pain detectors, that unconsciously make us feel safe .

Did I answered your question?

[clytaemnestra]

21 minutes ago, Donald said:

@clytaemnestra Psychoanalysis can be very helpful in this topic. We like things that are familiars to us . In childhood we created early and simplistic maps of how love works .

Ex. Maybe our mother was cold and distant but at the same time she loved us . So we create" patterns "of how love should be . Notice that it can be conscious or unconscious. In our early phases of life we had models of love and how being loved should be . We create "pain-love" association  (familiarity). But what has this to do with the character traits? It has everything to do . We seek in our partners those "familiar" traits , those pain detectors, that unconsciously make us feel safe .

Did I answered your question?

Not actually. Yes, I got the part that out seek is based on the patterns that are indoctrinated in our mind by society, parents, childhood and other examples around us. Pain-love doesn't make me feel safe, me personally. When my relationship turned into pain-love one, I ended it.

But actually, my question is more concrete, based on people's experience and in general, are too huge obstacles between different character traits, i.e. between extroversion and introversion? Not in a pain-love relationship nor codependent not independent, but in an interdependent, healthy one. 

[aurum]

There's more important factors to worry about in a relationship than whether the couple are introvert or extroverts. Handle the more essential parts and that other stuff will fall into place.

[egoeimai]

I think that the opposites match better. There is more attraction .