Trying to cope with new mental state

[electroBeam]

I've transitioned to a new phase or mental state which is radically different to the past. Its affected my career and relationships and basically everything.

It started after realising that there is no substance or meaning within the words we use on a daily basis, and materialist paradigm. I feel like a whole new world has opened up to me. When someone tells me a statement or some concept, I can instantly realize that its got absolutely no substance, and its just void. I'm barely interested in concepts, or reading, or intellectual knowledge now. If you tell me for example that smoke causes higher co2 emissions, I can instantly realize that this statement is completely untrue because if you contemplate what smoke, cause and co2 is, its just void. Nothingness and just appearance. And this is everything. Its one big seem/appearance. I cannot take any conversation serious now, because I know this person is talking about Nothing, but doesn't get it, he/she thinks he's/she's talking about something of substance, rather than Nothing. 

This has led to a lot of positive things. But I'm finding it challenging with my career. I use to care about solving problems and making a better place, because I believed in those problems actually existing, but now I'm aware that those problems don't have substance, and are just appearances. And we are all pretending these problems are real when they aren't. 

This has changed my orientation and perspective as an engineer/inventor. Instead of having an agenda to manipulate the world (solve a problem), I now have a desire to understand reality more metaphysically. I'm super curious about the world, now that I realize I got everything completely wrong. I want to metaphysically explore and relearn everything.

This has shook my whole life purpose plan (developed in the life purpose course) because I now do not have a desire to be anyone, but who I wanted to be is simply Nothing. No matter how I explain it. 

Helping the world is less about (for me now) solving their problems, but expression God's beauty and love. Its about creating for the sake of creating, and BEING apart of the beautiful creation that I am now rediscovering and admiring.

 

This is such a different mindset, and I don't know how to make money from this POV. Its very easy to make money from the problem solution mindset, but how do you make money expression creation beautifully? I feel like the carpet has been ripped from underneath me massively. How do I now make money? What do I do now? Still be an engineer? What girlfriend do I get?

I feel like I'm incapable of surviving in such a mindset. I don't know how to make money. This is the biggest thing I'm suffering. Surviving in this mindset. And the intellect just does not work here. So I can't even think about how to solve it, only observe metaphysically. 

 

Any insight on coping with this would be appreciated, thanks!

Edited March 3, 2020 by electroBeam

[Aaron p]

@electroBeam do you use psychedelics mate

[electroBeam]

@Aaron p No mate. I would if I had access to them. Actually I'm currently making a drone to collect shrooms in the wild as a side project. Its a fucken awesome project, its got a robotic claw and fully automated and shit. 

[Red-White-Light]

@electroBeam Juggle the paradoxes.

[Raptorsin7]

@electroBeam Congrats on transitioning man i'm happy for you.

Highly recommend working 1-1 with a teacher, if you aren't already. I think psychs and life coaching/working 1-1 are the two most valuable things on the path, so if you don't have pyshcs then i highly recommend finding a teacher. 

[PlayTheGame]

I can relate bro. This is what I realized:

By judging something as void, you are assuming that that judgement itself is not void. But the judgement itself that something is void, is void. When you realize this everything comes to the same level again. Void becomes full again.

You as the judger that things are void, are void. You are not separate from the emptiness. And remember that what Buddha called “emptiness”, Jesus called “the fullness of life”.

Only when you try to separate and judge the voidness, does it become negative and meaningless.

Hope this helps.