Doing what you love vs Loving what you do

[rNOW]

So over the past few years, trying out various things and methods of upgrading myself, I've come to realize something: I can come to like things I hate doing. In fact, I can come to even love them and look forward to doing them.

Example: I disliked cooking very much. Situation forced me to cook, not only for myself, but for others in my family too. Initially I resented the situation, but when I realized it is not going to change, I'd rather do it joyfully than waste my mind over how awful it is that I have to do this. So I began experimenting, trying out new recipes, and watching cooking videos on YouTube. It has been 1.5+ years since, and I look forward to cooking everyday now. It is like one part of my day's purpose is cooking. I earn no money from it, however it brings me and those who eat joy. 

Another example: I used to have a triggering reaction to anything that had to do with finances. It had its roots in the way my handled money and the topic of finances, but once I realized I cannot change my family, I started studying personal finance everyday. For over a year, I read and studied the basics everyday for 30 minutes. I came to love it. I even started sharing what I learned with others. I attended seminars to know that very few people in the audience have even the 10% knowledge that I have. I suddenly felt I could learn anything. And be anything and teach anything. 

This has happened to me in a lot of things - doing dishes, cleaning bathroom, etc. I have found that the thing that determines if I love something or not is the investment of time, attention and effort I direct towards it. There is no special love in any thing. Which if you look at it is extremely liberating and at the same time, limiting. Things have become more objective, free of heavy emotions, I try to do what is necessary for me in the moment. But then I find there is a lot of things necessary. How do I choose or pick? Like I could spend 1 hour cooking a regular dish or spend 3 hours trying out a new one. I find I need to set limits to my creative expressions to a certain few things otherwise I'm spreading myself too thin in all things! 

I find this often applies to people- I spend more time and attention to someone, I start loving them, even parts of them I did not like much earlier. I'm not talking of romantic love, though this is also why I find it hard to date. And it kept me in a toxic relationship for a long time. 

I'm assuming this is a deeper issue for me than I see. And I maybe blinded in my beliefs. Any perspectives on this welcome! 

[Average Investor]

You should give the book Mastery By George Leonard a read. I think it is quite insightful and it will help you see those tasks maybe in a slightly different perspective. I also found a New Earth By Eckhart Tolle to be relating to this and a good read. 

Mastering anything has a nice satisfying feeling. Regarding your cooking it sounds like you are going to be doing it anyway. I would not worry so much on it distracting you. You might also be a position where you are playing with new creative outlets anyway. I see nothing wrong with exploring and especially filling your day with things that you love to do. I think that is some of the most valuable ways to spend your time. 

I think what you are really seeking is too find a deep passion for something. While you are finding great amounts of interest in other topics. It sounds like you have not really stuck to one major thing that brings you the most fulfillment. 

What kind of other hobbies do you have? What are your interests? What is something that you have maybe struggled with most of your life? Do you have any talents? 

[randomguy123]

Both are important and you should try to integrate them. Without question, there are areas to which you are naturally drawn, which you love more than others, and recognizing those things will boost you motivation and helps you to be more authentic. On the other hand, anything can grow on you, you can develop tastes for everything in life. So please don't life from either one of those perspectives, but balance both.

[Robert Leavitt]

On 3/3/2020 at 5:02 AM, rNOW said:

I try to do what is necessary for me in the moment. But then I find there is a lot of things necessary. How do I choose or pick? Like I could spend 1 hour cooking a regular dish or spend 3 hours trying out a new one. I find I need to set limits to my creative expressions to a certain few things otherwise I'm spreading myself too thin in all things! 

If you are doing  one thing in the moment...there can't be many things to do in the moment.  Do only one thing...take the leap of faith and just do one thing without thinking about the "other things" I have to do (that's not being in the moment, that's being in the future).

The fear is, I will forget, or it won't get done, and you will be amazed that with enough patience (and a little learning, and practice) that everything that needs to get done, will get done..and those things that don't get done...didn't really need to get done

 

[Pritpal Singh]

@rnow You probably need to find your One thing. Now you will ask what is this one thing? I am currently reading this book called “The One Thing”. It is based on the concept of finding out the most important thing which will have the strongest impact on what you are trying to achieve in your life. A very important phrase in this book that goes like “What is the One thing you can do right now such that by doing it everything else becomes easy or unnecessary”.

The author has explained this with a very good example. A person let’s call him Mr. X, had started a business it was doing fine but was not growing as per expectation. Mr. X consulted the author for overcoming stagnation. After the meeting author came to know that Mr. X has not yet hired heads of various departments like HR, Accounts, IT etc. and managing it himself. Thus he advised him to hire all department heads for and it will have maximum impact on your business profitability.

In other words, “hiring all department heads” was the One thing for Mr. X at that moment such that by it everything else will become easy or unnecessary (meetings, planning, development) etc.

Basically the idea is to zero down one One thing that will make the most amount of difference in the form of results you are trying to achieve.

Hope you got the my point