Life seems worse after meditating, how to overcome this obstacle?

[moon777light]

I have now realized exactly why i meditate consistently for a few months then stop cold turkey until i pick it up again a few months later. I start feeling overwhelming anxiety and fear and i have a hunch that things start going worse when i meditate instead of better. I couldnt get a notion of why, why does this always happen until today i randomly listened to an esther hicks talk which covers this. She said that when people start meditating they always go to her asking why does it seem that all hell breaks lose in my life when i start this practice? And according to her its because when you meditate, you "calibrate" yourself to Source, to Who you Really Are, your divine self. Because of this, when you are in situations where you calibrate to who you are NOT (lets say negative emotions), you notice it 10x more intense than it was before. Apparently it didnt get worse, the negative emotion is always the same, it just seems worse because youve now accessed extremely positive emotions/vibrations in meditation. I find that this is likely what is going on with me, i feel anxiety soo much worse than it ever was before.

How do i overcome this obstacle? Halp.

[outlandish]

Sometimes things need to get worse before they can get better. Do you think this could be one of those situations?

When I began meditating, I had heightened social anxiety because of the increased awareness. But looking back I can see how this was a necessary growth period. It helped me overcome some artifice and pretence I was holding, which was creating less authentic interactions. The increased awareness helped me notice these things, which was in itself awkward, but in the long run I was able to melt it away and now have less social anxiety and more authentic connections. I'm not sure how much this anecdote would apply to your situation so take what you will.

[allislove]

Could you share the link to the talk? (if possible, love to listen to her talks)

 

I usually meditate with a really good mood since I do it right after waking up. 

Have you tried microdoses of psy? 

Emotional scale from Abraham is a good tool if you feel really low.

[TrynaBeTurquoise]

Sometimes the meditation brings the negativity to the surface, since your awareness increases, and is a good opportunity for these problems to be dealt with by embracing them head on instead of suppressing them, which is what produces the real growth. 

[mandyjw]

What situations bring up the anxiety, or what triggers it? Try to welcome the fear and anxiety with curiosity. Meditation is allowing it to bubble up, but it hasn't revealed itself yet. So you're feeling it, you're aware of its presence but haven't quite allowed yourself to feel it fully, or see past it's scary mask. Remember it's not hunting you, you're hunting it. Like a hunter, be still, be present, lie in wait for it, and when it comes out meet it with excitement and curiosity. Watch the thoughts around it. Feel the sensation in the body. Get intensely curious. 

[Nahm]

@moon777light The very first time you felt that feeling, it didn’t feel good. But rather than listen to the feeling, you created a belief about yourself. Common examples...”I’m afraid of spiders”...”I have driving anxiety”, etc. The thought / belief was never true about you to begin with. Feeling never stopped relaying this message, it’s just been covered with judgment for a long time. Let the thought / belief about you go. It’s not true. 

[Leo Gura]

See The Dark Side Of Meditation video.

Spiritual purificiation is not a pleasant process.

[Preety_India]

Thanks for the beautiful post. 

 

 This is so inspiring. Reaching to your superior resplendent divine self 

This inspires me to do more meditation. 

It's like going through hell to actually glimpse heaven..

Pain before the gain.

Edited March 2, 2020 by Preety_India

[ardacigin]

There is no easy answer to this.

First of all, back off sometimes when challenging material arises. You don't want to create too much aversion to practice. 

Create more motivation by doing psychedelics, watching videos, reading books etc. Do all this so that the process of sitting down to meditate is less daunting.

Again, smile as much as you can. And try to look for the joy as much as possible. This is a legitimate technique for emotional mastery.

You do need a lot metacognitive awareness to really go deep with it but anyone can attempt this:

 Catch yourself feeling some sadness and frustration, smile, look for the joy and try to feel some pleasant sensations.(the attempt is enough) Hold this joyful state of mind in consciousness as much as you can until you forget. Repeat.

Meditate lying down to reduce all pressure. You might get sleepy but it matters more to establish that profound relaxation lying down would give you in your situation. 

Also, feel free to take a break from all this and focus on your hobbies for a while.

These are my tips. Hope they help

 

Edited March 3, 2020 by ardacigin

[inFlow]

17 hours ago, moon777light said:

How do i overcome this obstacle? Halp.

@moon777light  You feel it because the meditation itself grew your awareness and thus making you more self-aware of your emotions. That's why you are feeling it, your awareness is like a knife which now became more sharper. Also your ego is resisting it, that's why you feel bad emotions so you quit and degrade to your base level for a little while until you still find the strength to meditate and restart all over. These on's and off's are quite frequent for myself. I do yoga and just can't stand it for weeks until I go back to my earlier stage. That's the magnetic pull of the ego identity. My tip would be just do it no matter what comes up. You will break through it eventually if you have accumulated enough inner strength and will power.

[Artaemis]

I remember Esther Hicks saying when she first made contact with Abraham it was turbulent and she was full of fear and anxiety. 

I know for me it was hell when I first started meditating very seriously again. Delusions, severe projection, impulsivity. A complete rewiring of self-identification. My mind was constantly spinning and I would wake up in terror. 

Try going toward it rather than away from it. Become a fascinated scientist.

Edited March 3, 2020 by Artaemis

[Nahm]

18 hours ago, moon777light said:

 i feel anxiety soo much worse than it ever was before.

What is the belief about yourself? 

The one which doesn’t feel good? 

The one You / your inner being / feeling (which you have labeled “anxiety“) is telling you, isn’t true? 

[Javfly33]

This is happening to me too, since I had some Awakening, I ditched all addictions and what I had left is with a mind that just doesn't fucking stop to arise thoughts of fear, anxiety, and un-groundness. I meditate more than ever because this mind is chasing "enlightenment", but the rest of the time is full of wanting to control and to solve 'things' and basically life has gotten x10 difficult than some weeks ago was .

I now know why spirituality is not a common "hobby". What you have to clean all the rubbish some people I understand prefer to stay in the rubbish and get comfortable with it. It's an arduous process and worse is you don't really know where it is going, you just know you are constantly surrendering your sense of self and there's no guarantee you'll get anything good in return. Hell you might even "die" in exchange to be alignment with this Truth. 

Sometimes I don't know why I didn't stayed playing videogames and forgot about personal development and spirituality. I know some people have just accepted"how they are" and just live between distraction and distraction so they don't think. They will be far from being aligned with Truth, they might be full of traumas and neurosis and egocentrisms, but they look more peaceful and at ease than myself for sure. They just ditched so deep the rubbish than I think they are not even thouched by them.

Here we get out the rubbish but until you manage it to throw it away you get dirty, very very dirty .

Be prod you are working to be withouth rubbish in your life I guess

Edited March 3, 2020 by Javfly33

[Sick Boy]

4 minutes ago, Javfly33 said:

Sometimes I don't know why I didn't stayed playing videogames and forgot about personal development and spirituality. I know some people have just accepted"how they are" and just live between distraction and distraction so they don't think. They will be far from being aligned with Truth, they might be full of traumas and neurosis and egocentrisms, but they look more peaceful and at ease than myself for sure. They just ditched so deep the rubbish than I think it doesn't touch it.

I totally identify myself with this. It's easy to find infinite distractions in life, and a lot of times I'm carried by them so I don't have to deal with the painful truth.

[moon777light]

@dimitri here is the link, the moment she talks about what i was saying is around 10:45-11:11

 

[moon777light]

@outlandish i hope it plays out like this @Nahm on a theoretical level i know this, but it takes a very couragous heart to practice it all the time hahha@Leo Gura noted

 @TrynaBeTurquoise im pretty sure that is whats going on, but i cant seem to get over the block, im lost in the heart of a tornado of anxious thoughts and i feel like whichever way i move it just follows. I find what nahm said about just observing the thought to be the best way, but sometimes the feeling is so intense, so scary, that i turn to panic mode, i feel like okay im observing this, now it should start to lessen, any second now..., and instead it gets worse and so i panic and think "you know what, the observing might not be it"

@mandyjw mostly paranoia feelings. I completely feel the hunting vs the hunter thing, and in effect im actually hunting myself 

21 hours ago, mandyjw said:

Like a hunter, be still, be present, lie in wait for it, and when it comes out meet it with excitement and curiosity. Watch the thoughts around it. Feel the sensation in the body. Get intensely curious. 

will try with this harder

@Preety_India your welcome <3 

19 hours ago, Preety_India said:

It's like going through hell to actually glimpse heaven..

Pain before the gain.

i have to remember the rain before the rainbow haha

@Artaemis im confused as to whos Esther and whos Abraham hahah i always see the two names mentioned together but one person. I assume shes Esther but some videos say Abraham hicks and its just her talking lol

@ardacigin  thank you <3 

 

[allislove]

@moon777light such a beautiful talk, thanks! ❤️

[Nahm]

3 hours ago, moon777light said:

it takes a very couragous heart to practice it all the time 

No, it doesn’t. That’s a story too.

Imo, that would be doing this again....

9 hours ago, Nahm said:

What is the belief about yourself? 

The one which doesn’t feel good? 

The one You / your inner being / feeling (which you have labeled “anxiety“) is telling you, isn’t true? 

...but supplementing ‘courage’ instead of ‘anxiety’. The belief in the need for courage is founded on the belief one is not. Thought is sneaky. No thought about you will ever be true. 

Are you starting to grasp what it means / points to...that thought is dualistic? (And you are not)

[abrakamowse]

@moon777light

 

 

[Nahm]

@abrakamowse So. Good.