Spiritual Path and Dysfunction

[BETGR164128]

Has anyone noticed that they create a whole new set of problems the further down the spritual path they go?

 

I am in the process of looking at my thoughts and understanding them to be irrelevant. But at the same time I have noticed that I create a set of dysfunctional behaviours that co-exist alongside my deepening sense of freedom. I've noticed that the less bothered I become about strict behaviours like constant politeness, organization, friendliness, the usual mind games that people need to play in order to "get along" in life, the more I seem to offend others and make others resentful at me because I'm just not minding these petty survival behaviours anymore. I find them irrelevant, unnecessary and detrimental to my sense of well being. I'm just not as interested in playing the game of life as much as I used to be because I see how much suffering is involved in keeping up these facades.

 

I've actually become a lot more accepting , accomodating, embracing of others and my own faults but in doing so I find strangely that it's backfiring on me. I'm finding that a lot of people would prefer that I didn't love and accept my and their whole being as it is, and they would actually prefer me to hold them to the conditional standards.

 

Any insight to share? 

[Barna]

This is a pretty deep question.

My way of dealing with this is that I don't try to be in any fixed way. There is an attitude in me that wants the best for everyone around me, so I simply act on that. If I feel like my co-workers need more politeness at the moment then I am becoming more polite. At another time, if I feel like my friends need some funny insults then I'm delivering that. It's like transforming from a person into a harmonizing factor of the present moment.

The key is to not to take the social game too seriously and then you can easily change your character to fit any situation in life. Just flow with it.

[Gnosis]

Don't worry, it'll only get worse and worse.

 

Especially if you,

4 hours ago, Barna said:

Just flow with it.

You have to be incredibly fortunate for that not to be the case, and unfortunately most of us aren't that fortunate (to predisposed in precisely the functional ways rather than the dysfunctional ones, have the kind of environmental support necessary, and be fortunate enough to develop in all areas of life in parallel).

For the ones who are that fortunate, I envy you.

 

15 hours ago, BETGR164128 said:

a whole new set of problems

There's certainly the possibility of you being totally oblivious to all of that, so it won't even be a "problem".

In fact, the word will probably fall out of your dictionary soon enough if you're doing this right.

 

One of these days, you might sit back for a moment and realize that you've traversed the domain of consciousness development so substantially that it might be greatly in the interest of your physical survival to do other things.

But you can't ever halt the path. By the time you've reached that point, you're substantially beyond overt spiritual practices.

Better will become worse; worse will become better.

Better inside the worse; worse inside the better.

In the end it'll all come together.

 

If there's anything to take away from this commentary, try to the best of your ability to develop in all areas of life in parallel.

It'll save your life. Literally.

 

But hey, most of us aren't so fortunate to have the luxury or predisposition to do that.

Don't sweat it, if you die, you'll only be reborn as Ferris wheel. 

[Nahm]

15 hours ago, BETGR164128 said:

Has anyone noticed that they create a whole new set of problems the further down the spritual path they go? I am in the process of looking at my thoughts and understanding them to be irrelevant.

The thought about creating a whole new set of problems is itself also irrelevant (just a thought).  

15 hours ago, BETGR164128 said:

I am in the process of looking at my thoughts and understanding them to be irrelevant. But at the same time I have noticed that I create a set of dysfunctional behaviours that co-exist alongside my deepening sense of freedom. I've noticed that the less bothered I become about strict behaviours like constant politeness, organization, friendliness, the usual mind games that people need to play in order to "get along" in life, the more I seem to offend others and make others resentful at me because I'm just not minding these petty survival behaviours anymore. I find them irrelevant, unnecessary and detrimental to my sense of well being. I'm just not as interested in playing the game of life as much as I used to be because I see how much suffering is involved in keeping up these facades.

 Feeling better is great, thinking you’re better is suffering. 

15 hours ago, BETGR164128 said:

I've actually become a lot more accepting , accomodating, embracing of others and my own faults but in doing so I find strangely that it's backfiring on me. I'm finding that a lot of people would prefer that I didn't love and accept my and their whole being as it is, and they would actually prefer me to hold them to the conditional standards.

Go another ‘layer’ and let go of the belief in faults. 

[VeganAwake]

16 hours ago, BETGR164128 said:

Has anyone noticed that they create a whole new set of problems the further down the spritual path they go?

 

I am in the process of looking at my thoughts and understanding them to be irrelevant. But at the same time I have noticed that I create a set of dysfunctional behaviours that co-exist alongside my deepening sense of freedom. I've noticed that the less bothered I become about strict behaviours like constant politeness, organization, friendliness, the usual mind games that people need to play in order to "get along" in life, the more I seem to offend others and make others resentful at me because I'm just not minding these petty survival behaviours anymore. I find them irrelevant, unnecessary and detrimental to my sense of well being. I'm just not as interested in playing the game of life as much as I used to be because I see how much suffering is involved in keeping up these facades.

 

I've actually become a lot more accepting , accomodating, embracing of others and my own faults but in doing so I find strangely that it's backfiring on me. I'm finding that a lot of people would prefer that I didn't love and accept my and their whole being as it is, and they would actually prefer me to hold them to the conditional standards.

 

Any insight to share? 

There isn't any real dysfunction or problems.

Everything is perfect but then the Mind comes into the picture and says it should be something other than it is.

Who is this 'I'...have you exploded this? ❤

[Adodd]

 @BETGR164128 I am in the same boat. People start to think that I feel like I'm BETTER than them or something because I'm not getting emotionally bent out of shape. They see this is me not being emotionally involved it seems like. And in reality, I'm not. I'm not going to get emotionally worked up because someone said something rude to someone else hours ago. I wouldn't even care if someone got rude with ME hours ago. I think people have spent their life seeing emotional reaction as a foundational sign of caring.  

[Barna]

3 hours ago, Gnosis said:

You have to be incredibly fortunate for that not to be the case, and unfortunately most of us aren't that fortunate (to predisposed in precisely the functional ways rather than the dysfunctional ones, have the kind of environmental support necessary, and be fortunate enough to develop in all areas of life in parallel).

For the ones who are that fortunate, I envy you.

I think you are missing the most important part of it all: consciousness.

The difference between functional and dysfunctional is the level of attention that you direct into it.

[Gnosis]

@Barna Consider that perhaps there's an important reason I specifically have chosen not to include consciousness in that evaluation.

 

2 hours ago, Barna said:

The difference between functional and dysfunctional is the level of attention that you direct into it.

No. Dysfunction is a much more relative issue than that reduction.

Yes, awareness is beneficial. I assume you're thinking along the lines of "awareness alone is curative" to quote Leo.

However, here you're cutting the cat in half in one stroke of blade and expecting it to stay alive.

We all know that the cat doesn't make it.

 

Also, although I understand what you were trying to say, the way you said it was incredibly misleading.

If your statement was true, there would be no possibility for being aware of supposed dysfunction in the first place.

Since by that definition, the very dysfunction you're aware of, would already by definition be function rather than dysfunction.

So your statement is in fact, not talking about dysfunctional at all, but just wrapping around a scalar of attention/awareness.

[Barna]

@Gnosis what I meant is that every relationship is different, every single situation is different, every second is completely different than any other second. Nobody can give you an advice that you can religiously apply to any relationship and to any situation. You have to be constantly aware and you have to constantly learn everything about every situation. How else do you want to be functional? 

I personally don't take relationships seriously in my life. I let people come and go as they wish. The only thing I care about is to express myself from my deepest authenticity. And this authenticity wants to help people in their evolution. And this translates differently to every situation.

[BETGR164128]

5 hours ago, Adodd said:

 @BETGR164128 I am in the same boat. People start to think that I feel like I'm BETTER than them or something because I'm not getting emotionally bent out of shape. They see this is me not being emotionally involved it seems like. And in reality, I'm not. I'm not going to get emotionally worked up because someone said something rude to someone else hours ago. I wouldn't even care if someone got rude with ME hours ago. I think people have spent their life seeing emotional reaction as a foundational sign of caring.  

Yeah, I've noticed that once I've created a grievance about something, I look for others to support it because I want to feel "normal" and that my judgement is a sign of being a 'proper' human being. Those guys out there are not proper human beings, how can a human being say or do such a rotten thing to me or others?  I need someone to support me when I decide who's right and who's wrong, those who are with me are obviously right and proper people, and those against me there is obviously something wrong with them. 

But I just noticed with your @Nahm that I'm creating a similar story now, because I'm better than those who don't get upset. I'm continuing to create separation lines between being spiritual and being unconscious. This doesn't feel good, so it can't be true. I should go with what feels good. 

But how do I learn how to stay out of trouble? People want to recruit me into their in group. That's how people work. So im back to square one again making judgements about making judgements.

 

 @VeganAwake +1 no, this self is still here

@Barna +1

@Gnosis +1

[Gnosis]

17 minutes ago, Barna said:

And this translates differently to every situation.

We all translate a little differently, don't we. 

[Barna]

11 minutes ago, Gnosis said:

We all translate a little differently, don't we. 

@BETGR164128 Sorry if I misunderstood you. I might be more helpful if you give me a specific situation to work with. 

Edited March 3, 2020 by Barna

[Nahm]

1 hour ago, BETGR164128 said:

But how do I learn how to stay out of trouble?

 

1 hour ago, BETGR164128 said:

I should go with what feels good. 

??

There’s a wonderful difference between being aware of behavior and understanding it, and identifying people with it...believing it’s “who they are”. 

[VeganAwake]

3 hours ago, BETGR164128 said:

 

@VeganAwake +1 no, this self is still here

 

There isn't a self there now, its just your identification with the labels, thoughts, perceptions, ideas and beliefs that are keeping the illusion alive.

Once you recognize the story of 'ME' was just a misidentification with thought or Maya you can unidentify and disentangle with it.

You can be free....

No person enters the gateless gate so be nobody.

[BETGR164128]

6 hours ago, Barna said:

@BETGR164128 Sorry if I misunderstood you. I might be more helpful if you give me a specific situation to work with. 

Your advice was helpful. 

[LastThursday]

I recently had the following conversation with a friend of mine. Take what you will:

F: But how can you lead life without judging others? Surely that's not possible?

LT: See it like this. You should aim to be like the Sun. It gives warmth to everyone and everything equally and expects nothing in return. 

F: But doesn't the sun burn people?

LT: Yes, but that isn't the fault of the Sun.  The Sun doesn't judge, it just shines. The onus is on people to tolerate the light.

F: That seems selfish to me.

LT: Only because you're not the Sun.

[Aaron p]

On 3/2/2020 at 11:23 AM, BETGR164128 said:

I'm just not minding these petty survival behaviours anymore

 

On 3/2/2020 at 11:23 AM, BETGR164128 said:

i've actually become a lot more accepting , accommodating, embracing of others and my own faults 

 

On 3/2/2020 at 11:23 AM, BETGR164128 said:

Any insight to share?

Yes I do have an insight to share with you @BETGR164128 . Forget everything about behavior. Do whatever the fuck you want. Go snort a line of cocaine if you want. Then come back and practice kryia yoga. Religion is not the way. All of your efforts to try and be like god are actually your ego. Fuck everything you know. Go be bad and continue practising hardcore until you stop being bad accidentally. Do whatever you want. Do not try to be unholy and do not try to be holy. Do not obey what I am saying do not disobey it. PRACTISE. Ignore everything else. 

(Practises include psychedelics, js)

[BETGR164128]

20 hours ago, VeganAwake said:

There isn't a self there now, its just your identification with the labels, thoughts, perceptions, ideas and beliefs that are keeping the illusion alive.

Once you recognize the story of 'ME' was just a misidentification with thought or Maya you can unidentify and disentangle with it.

You can be free....

No person enters the gateless gate so be nobody.

Feeling much better about not knowing who I am and who others are. It kind of let's the thoughts and behaviours be there and they don't seem negative anymore. I guess I'm continuing to do what feels good. Knowing doesn't feel great for me, so I try not to pretend I know much about anything, or even who I am. I feel I'm more than anything the mind can make out. The mind is limiting and doesn't allow for free expression. Thanks, very helpful

[BETGR164128]

On 03/03/2020 at 5:31 PM, LastThursday said:

I recently had the following conversation with a friend of mine. Take what you will:

F: But how can you lead life without judging others? Surely that's not possible?

LT: See it like this. You should aim to be like the Sun. It gives warmth to everyone and everything equally and expects nothing in return. 

F: But doesn't the sun burn people?

LT: Yes, but that isn't the fault of the Sun.  The Sun doesn't judge, it just shines. The onus is on people to tolerate the light.

F: That seems selfish to me.

LT: Only because you're not the Sun.

Brilliant! Whatever judgements arise outside of your control is not your problem. Thanks for your comment, this site is a goldmine 

[BETGR164128]

23 hours ago, Aaron p said:

 

 

Yes I do have an insight to share with you @BETGR164128 . Forget everything about behavior. Do whatever the fuck you want. Go snort a line of cocaine if you want. Then come back and practice kryia yoga. Religion is not the way. All of your efforts to try and be like god are actually your ego. Fuck everything you know. Go be bad and continue practising hardcore until you stop being bad accidentally. Do whatever you want. Do not try to be unholy and do not try to be holy. Do not obey what I am saying do not disobey it. PRACTISE. Ignore everything else. 

(Practises include psychedelics, js)

This is good advice. I'm taking it. My problem in the past is that I've actually been a real stubborn devil and it backfired on me by ruining my confidence. What I'm trying to do now is stop being judgemental as a kind of strategy for reclaiming my lost potential. I practically crippled myself trying to be a good person and ended up becoming a judgemental devil.