Holy s***. Pick up is so tough

[Javfly33]

I just have to say, those of you who have done pick up more than just " a few times" I have all of my respect and awe for you.

I just started doing pick up last week finally (did 4 so far) and OMG this stuff is cool but also terryfing.

Before doing this 4 approaches, I spent like the previous whole month just "going for it" taking a walk in crowded places with the intention of picking up and then ALWAYS GO BACK HOME with an excuse. Also my mind would make an excuse to "why I am here and I am not approaching" LOL

This went on for more than a month!

Then last week I finally bite the bullet, and just when I thought I was having momentum and I wanted to do it again today because I saw a beautiful girl, my mind fucking said something and I actually didn't approach.

This pick up stuff is not difficult because of girls, seduction, or socializing, actually it has surprised me how is *relatively easy (I did a few more pick up years ago but quit because I found a girl) it's because your mind is a beast. Actually the only way to pick up it seems to just walk your body towards the girl not listening to the mind at all even if it's telling you 100signs in form of subtle racing thoughts and emotions who only say "don't fucking do it, dude".

This is no different than strong determination sitting Lmao. It's a battle against your mind. Any other tricks to "force yourself" to approach ? Like maybe breathing techniques or something like that to do exactly in the moment you feel that fear in the body but you know you shouldn't listen to that fear?

Edited February 29, 2020 by Javfly33

[TrynaBeTurquoise]

Yeah, approaching randos on the street is going to give you a lot of rejections and your mind is going to play games with you. You simply have to not care, have the mindset that you are not trying to avoid rejection, but that its just a part of the process. 
 

Personally, If I was single and trying to get girls right now, I wouldnt do pick up approaching random women cold. I would look for other “ins” as in easy ways to build rapport.

For example, an attractive girl drops her grocery bag, help her, be a gentlemen and then you can go for it. For me, these subtle “ins” occur a lot more often than we think, and it would be my preferred  method over cold approaching. Stuff like this can happen when you arent out even looking for girls but take advantage of the opportunities that present themselves.

[Nahm]

Remember other things in your life that you thought were a ‘big deal’, but upon more experience, they weren’t. Remember how great that feeling is. Same thing. Feel the feeling of knowing that, then talk with someone. 

[Leo Gura]

Yup, it's brutal. Which is why alcohol exists.

Without alcohol, the Earth's population would be 75% less.

When doing approaches it's crucial to build up momentum. The first 5 approaches of the night are just a warm up. After the first 5, everything becomes much easier. After 15 approaches in one night, each next approach becomes effortless. Then the next night you gotta start all over again from zero.

[Derek White]

53 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Without alcohol, the Earth's population would be 75% less.

@Leo Gura Is drunk sex even consensual? In school they taught me to not have sex while someone is drunk. 

[Gili Trawangan]

Give yourself a pad on the back for those first approaches. A rejection is a win, because you went for it.

Now go get some more wins, it gets better.

[Sleyker]

I usually say hi to random people on the street before approaching girls, it gets me in the mood of being social. I would suggest you try that.

[Enlightenment]

8 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Without alcohol, the Earth's population would be 75% less.

It's soo true. Alcohol plays such a big role in society's survival. I was contemplating lately why then population just didn't evolve eventually to the ones who do not need to dampen their fear with alcohol in order to find a mate. I think it comes down to the fact that such very low neurotic/fearless people are simply not optimal for survival either, they would not care enough in other areas of life and therefore would not be the best survival machines. The best scenario seems to be - be anxious and afraid enough so you care enough about career, money, kids, health, whether you fit in a group etc. but also have a magic substance (alcohol) to dampen your amygdala activity on Friday night and be able to talk to girls.

[Leo Gura]

34 minutes ago, Enlightenment said:

just didn't evolve eventually to the ones who do not need to dampen their fear with alcohol

That's exactly what's happening. But evolution takes time. We are smack dab in the middle of it.

People take evolution for granted, thinking it's something that happened a million years ago. No. It's happening right now, via you.

[Globalcollective]

10 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Without alcohol, the Earth's population would be 75% less.

hahaha so true 

[kag101]

Omg... that's soooo neurotic. 

My suggestion: install Tinder and go out with "unattractive" girls, so that you practice. If you think you can get "HBs" right off the bat, then you're bound to fail. 

It's like learning how to play the piano. You have to start with simple and easy songs. Master the basics. If a beginner tries to play, for example, Hungarian Rhapsody N. 2 (which is a very difficult piece), it's definitely not going to work. 

[The Don]

11 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Without alcohol, the Earth's population would be 75% less.

Why are you saying this, @Leo Gura?

Are you saying it because most people are in a constant state of suffering that's hard to be tolerated without the use of alcohol?

[Peo]

when i approach i usually imagin me being more confident and put my self on pedestal in some few seconds. That helps when approaching. The best way to approach is just do it and don't let your mind say a word, 

[Florian]

@The Don I think he means that 75% of humans were made while the parents were drunk

[Yog]

@Enlightenment ... reminded me of this short insight.

 

[Pritpal Singh]

On 3/1/2020 at 7:03 PM, The Don said:

Why are you saying this, @Leo Gura?

Are you saying it because most people are in a constant state of suffering that's hard to be tolerated without the use of alcohol?

@The Don I once did badly in a campus placement interview and was sitting with classmates waiting for results. Obviously I was frustrated. I told my friends I am so damn frustrated that I want to drink. Knowing that I don’t drink, they asked me why you want to drink. I said because I am suffering right now.

One of them replied with golden words that I still remember after more than a decade, “If you will drink alcohol it will increase your sufferings”.

Yes most people including me are in constant state of suffering but alcohol will stop the sufferings only temporarily and once intoxication is over you will come back to normal state of suffering.

You began to rely on alcohol to escape from suffering which is okay to an extent. However this very reliance on alcohol will stop you from becoming a strong and self-reliant person who does not require on alcohol to deal with his or her sufferings.

Meditation, yoga, exercise, reading, writing, singing, playing musical instruments, painting, dancing, in fact pickup itself are examples of activities which one can indulge in, in order to escape from this cruel world that makes everyone suffer constantly.      

Edited March 10, 2020 by Pritpal Singh
tagged the person whom i was replying

[Roy]

On 2/29/2020 at 10:00 PM, Derek White said:

@Leo Gura Is drunk sex even consensual? In school they taught me to not have sex while someone is drunk. 

@Derek White if one person is sober and the other one is not, no it is not consensual. It's great school is teaching you that. That is a very dangerous and slippery slope and it's a good principle to just avoid it all together. Personally I will very rarely have sex with my girlfriend if she's had anything to drink (I don't drink) and she's literally a consent educator lol! 

Of course if you are BOTH under the influence that changes things, but you have to realize people are quite easily manipulated while drunk (or on most drugs for that matter), and their intentions/wants are not completely transparent or aligned with what they might have wanted if they were sober in the same context.

Devils will selfishly exploit this for their own pleasure. They think someone being drunk is explicit permission to advance.

Don't be a devil. Be smart and respectful.

Edited March 10, 2020 by Roy

[Derek White]

8 hours ago, Roy said:

@Derek White if one person is sober and the other one is not, no it is not consensual. It's great school is teaching you that. That is a very dangerous and slippery slope and it's a good principle to just avoid it all together. Personally I will very rarely have sex with my girlfriend if she's had anything to drink (I don't drink) and she's literally a consent educator lol! 

Of course if you are BOTH under the influence that changes things, but you have to realize people are quite easily manipulated while drunk (or on most drugs for that matter), and their intentions/wants are not completely transparent or aligned with what they might have wanted if they were sober in the same context.

Devils will selfishly exploit this for their own pleasure. They think someone being drunk is explicit permission to advance.

Don't be a devil. Be smart and respectful.

I think that if both parties were drunk then the initiator would be at fault, although I’m not sure.

 I’ve never had alcohol and have no desire to but it’s a common recreational activity in universities. Sex and alcohol are best avoided, specially in todays day and age.

The thing is my grade 10 social studies teacher did a mock trial about a rape in class. It involved drunk sex and the accused was found innocent. And it did seem that the accused was genuinely clueless. But that f’er didn’t tell us that the case was from the early 90’s and since then the laws had drastically changed.

He confused us so much, we were told something else in previous years and other classes, but we believed him because he was our teacher and it was social studies after all and the accused was found innocent. It’s only when my grade 11 law teacher brought up consent that I cleared my doubts. Unfortunately many boys that were his students probably have a wrong idea of drunk consent now. 

Edited March 11, 2020 by Derek White
Added the story

[Pritpal Singh]

On 11/03/2020 at 5:12 AM, Roy said:

On 01/03/2020 at 8:30 AM, Derek White said:

@Leo Gura Is drunk sex even consensual? In school they taught me to not have sex while someone is drunk. 

@Derek White if one person is sober and the other one is not, no it is not consensual. It's great school is teaching you that. That is a very dangerous and slippery slope and it's a good principle to just avoid it all together. Personally I will very rarely have sex with my girlfriend if she's had anything to drink (I don't drink) and she's literally a consent educator lol! 

Of course if you are BOTH under the influence that changes things, but you have to realize people are quite easily manipulated while drunk (or on most drugs for that matter), and their intentions/wants are not completely transparent or aligned with what they might have wanted if they were sober in the same context.

Devils will selfishly exploit this for their own pleasure. They think someone being drunk is explicit permission to advance.

Don't be a devil. Be smart and respectful.

That's a very authentic way of dealing with matters pertaining to sex.

I myself don't drink but have heard many from PUA community as well as PU coaches recommending drinks to improve success rate for full closes. I am sure it works but for some reason its not my thing. 

[turtleneck]

checkout this channel about social interactions, there are all sorts of random social interactions, including talking to attractive women, you will enjoy it  

https://www.youtube.com/socialanimal

here are some example: 

 

Edited March 12, 2020 by turtleneck