Karma/maintaining ego vs aligning with passion

[electroBeam]

This one is so tricky and I fuck up both ways with it (or do I? Can't tell) all the time.

What's the difference between aligning with truth/following your passion/following your dreams vs maintaining your ego's current structure vs maintaining survival vs being lazy vs lying?

In my life purpose, I have a rule that I must push myself out of my comfort zone. So I push myself to do things that aren't me(good thing right because killing me is the goal?). I'm naturally (or in other words my ego's current structure is and what it wants to maintain to death, no oxymoron intended) anti social, love having my own space, freedom, independence and creative problem solving. 

I've naturally fallen in love with artificial intelligence and AI, and basically making very creative, intelligent AI systems. I've been paid good money by employers in the past for it. I dropped out of university to make a startup around it. Making a startup is far more than creative problem solving and AI though. Its product market fit, marketing, valuing your company, business architecture, lean canvas, etc. I've been through many accelerators and spoken to lots of investors - which also requires really good emotional intelligence, being very social, knowing social cues, etc. So a lot stuff outside of what I like doing (AI and creative problem solving). 

In the past I've said its a good thing that I'm pushing myself to do all of this stuff, because it helps kill me. Doing stuff that I'm not suppose to be doing, that I wasn't born for, etc. But at the same time you need to focus on a particular niche that you're passionate about. And you can't do that if you're trying to be a business expert, marketing guru, charismatic hipster cofounder, and all of the other stuff they teach you in accelerators. 

And when I do these other activities, I just feel hollow, because its not what I want to be doing. I don't give a fuck about marketing, business architecture, etc. (well I care a little, its a little interesting, but no where near as creating AI frameworks - especially AI that can classify shrooms... I've been working on a personal project recently of an AI drone that searches for shrooms using computer vision AI. Getting AI and mushroom taxonomy working together is a very cool area of research. Also doing geographic studies or where shrooms grow the most is fun too). But I'm not sure if these feelings (of not wanting to do the business and marketing side) is just ego trying to maintain itself. It certainly seems that way. And if it is that way, is that a sign I need to do more of the thing I hate?

The whole finding your niche and specialising strategy of LP just seems like a clever way of the ego maintaining itself, which goes against this work. What's the difference between following your LP and maintaining ego?

[remember]

well, that’s super difficult - it’s not even about marketing but more about the shrooms... you build technology which makes something visible which maintains survival, what if this shrooms technology would help people now finding more shrooms (like for example a technology that would help to find fish) what if all places of growing shrooms would be known and people would start to harvest them? the shrooms would be gone soon. i guess that’s the difference. some things you could do, there is a reason why it’s better to not do marketing for certain things and maybe even destroy the technology or not sell it. it’s not just technology it can be used for a purpose. if you can’t make a difference between these two it’s probably to maintain ego.

as long as you use that for yourself or accompany it to a higher purpose, where it actually makes sense might be something else than just throwing it out there. marketing in that would mean assuring the right purpose, and would be a complete different thing than what you are talking about.

Edited February 27, 2020 by remember

[mandyjw]

7 hours ago, electroBeam said:

What's the difference between aligning with truth/following your passion/following your dreams vs maintaining your ego's current structure vs maintaining survival vs being lazy vs lying?

Self judgement. Or just judgement. 

I'm in a similar transitional period, but have had to accept that for now, that doing much less is ok because alignment comes first. And that takes self love to accept and it also takes self love to accept that I still have to do things I'm not initially passionate about to survive, but once I accept them, they are just opportunities to be present anyway. My mind was just prejudging them by creating needless resistance and fear. It wastes more energy in resisting than it would take to do the task without thought. It also wastes a lot of energy wondering which it should do instead of aligning with what it is doing and giving it full focus. 

7 hours ago, electroBeam said:

In my life purpose, I have a rule that I must push myself out of my comfort zone. So I push myself to do things that aren't me(good thing right because killing me is the goal?).

Who is killing who? 

I think you'd really appreciate Rupert's perspective here, @LfcCharlie4 just shared this in another thread. 

https://non-duality.rupertspira.com/watch/what-is-the-right-job-to-do

Edited February 27, 2020 by mandyjw

[remember]

@electroBeam i also think that the term passion is one of the terms which oftentimes get misunderstood. a lot of teachers talk about enlightenment as a passionless state - i think what is meant with passion is a headless passion one that does not compute with your better understanding in that the comparison would be passion vs passion. which one is ego and which one is the calling? don’t get just lost in existence itself try to find meaning in the purpose you create aswell. self or Self that’s the question always.

[electroBeam]

6 hours ago, remember said:

well, that’s super difficult - it’s not even about marketing but more about the shrooms... you build technology which makes something visible which maintains survival, what if this shrooms technology would help people now finding more shrooms (like for example a technology that would help to find fish) what if all places of growing shrooms would be known and people would start to harvest them? the shrooms would be gone soon. i guess that’s the difference. some things you could do, there is a reason why it’s better to not do marketing for certain things and maybe even destroy the technology or not sell it. it’s not just technology it can be used for a purpose. if you can’t make a difference between these two it’s probably to maintain ego.

as long as you use that for yourself or accompany it to a higher purpose, where it actually makes sense might be something else than just throwing it out there. marketing in that would mean assuring the right purpose, and would be a complete different thing than what you are talking about.

thats a pet project, my startup and part time jobs are completely different. I cant sell that because it would be illegal, and if shrooms werent illegal i would probably look at planting or cultivation tech, not harvesting in the wild tech. Something like low cost robotic device for shooting spores in a syringe or tools and techniques for interpreting agar plates and different bacterial infections. And i wouldn't do the marketing. I know enough of the marketing for figuring out market size, customer segments, execution strategy, but the actual marketers would be hired.

@mandyjw So in summary you think the resistance is just BS? What if you really love whatever it is? Have a passion for it? And the survival is not resistive? Is that a form of ego maintaining itself?

I sense the problem of "who is killing who" I guess though going out of your comfort zone does expand you a bit which reduces suffering.

Edited February 27, 2020 by electroBeam

[remember]

@electroBeam mhhh well, then... in some sense i can understand this problem. sometimes not liking to do something is because we don’t have enough insight into it. maybe you would like it more if you would learn about different approaches. or you need to work with someone who does the „unnecessary“ stuff with the same joy you do the „necessary“ stuff 

[Preety_India]

Grand delusions. 

And inferencing 

 

[electroBeam]

16 minutes ago, remember said:

@electroBeam mhhh well, then... in some sense i can understand this problem. sometimes not liking to do something is because we don’t have enough insight into it. maybe you would like it more if you would learn about different approaches. or you need to work with someone who does the „unnecessary“ stuff with the same joy you do the „necessary“ stuff 

My problem is complex, my problem is, Im curious as to is life purpose and creating and finding your niche a form of ego maintaining itself.

The 2nd problem is, i dont enjoy marketing, is this dislike a form of ego maintaining itself

Then the 3rd problem is a mix  of the 2 above. To be successful in life you need to be a master of 1 particular skill. Im not doing that, Im being a jack of all trades by learning about all aspects of business. Is segregating yourself into a little box(1 skill or set of skills to master) a form of ego maintaining itself(for example being an AI engineer highly specialised in 1 particular branch), and therefore being a jack of all trades a good idea. Or is honing 1 skill not a form of ego maintaining itself and its fine to do that and you should bevause a jack of all trades is a master or none.

I don't enjoy being a jack of all trades because i only like business and marketing a little bit. But I love being an inventor. But is this just ego maintaining itself? Or is this a wise way of making a good life for yourself because mastery leads to prosperity.

Do you get the question now?

Edited February 27, 2020 by electroBeam

[remember]

47 minutes ago, electroBeam said:

My problem is complex, my problem is, Im curious as to is life purpose and creating and finding your niche a form of ego maintaining itself.

yes of course, but it’s also if you don’t.

47 minutes ago, electroBeam said:

The 2nd problem is, i dont enjoy marketing, is this dislike a form of ego maintaining itself

yes. no. depends on your product. you could also try to find different ways for marketing which you enjoy. maybe you didn’t find the way to go yet. 

just try to either specialize, then you need to outsource. or accept that you are a generalist which can be fulfilling but most of the time doesn’t bring you a lot of economic success. guess i get what you are asking. but do you get the response? it’s for a lot of people too much to do all work alone, with the same skills a whole company used to handle.

Edited February 27, 2020 by remember