How did you find your skill set?

[Matt23]

Hey, inspired by Leo's recent post.  I've been trying, with frustration, to find my own skill set.  I'm finding it difficult to come up with anyone practical and hands on that i can actually practice and develop.  It seems i'm more interested in psychology, working with people, and spirituality, so I don't really feel i have anything to work on their.  Like it's all impractical stuff that I can't really "do" or be creative with.  It's just talking with people n' thinking, etc.  More abstract.  

Also, my top 3 strengths from the Life Purpose course strengths finder are Curiosity, Wisdom, and Excellence... I also found Critical-thinking/openmindedness and Fairness...

I'd like to here about other people's journeys about how they came to find their skill set.  Especially people with less concrete and more abstract skills relating to people and spirituality.

Cheers

Edited February 27, 2020 by Matt23

[Matt23]

Also, how did you developed your skill set?  

[SgtPepper]

Listening to someone and validating their feeling is a skillset, so is the experience of working with various different people. Most of this is learned with experience rather in school though. It's a whole mindset. Therapy is very different than having a regular conversation.

In addition, there are various forms of therapy like music and art therapy. There are also different approaches to modifying patterns of thinking and behavior.

I know what you mean by hands on though and this is why my hobby is playing the guitar and song writing. It's hands on and it has progression which gives me something to enjoy outside of my career.

[Matt23]

Yeah, I feel like I want something more practical.  Something I can actually create/do.  I might be frustrated/victimizing a little as well.

Edited February 27, 2020 by Matt23

[SgtPepper]

You could just keep psychology and spirituality as a personal interest and do a trade job as your career like carpentry or design something artistically.

[supremeyingyang]

1 hour ago, Matt23 said:

I'd like to here about other people's journeys about how they came to find their skill set.  Especially people with less concrete and more abstract skills relating to people and spirituality.

I'm a currently programmer, but I have studied social science and a bunch of others studies that are considered 'abstract' or 'useless'. I always knew this was wrong, these studies can be very positive impactful. It's just that it is hard to articulate the knowledge. It's like I'm always on a meta level and I always want the big picture - then I manufacture a vision and work towards that vision. That is why I like to watch things from distance, because it's easier to understand what is really happening. Key Skill is always learning what is necessary.

For example you'll learn statistics if you pursue psychology in university. That is a hard skill that can really help with you psychology/spiritual work, even though it's not obvious.

@SgtPepper

Great idea

 

Edited February 27, 2020 by supremeyingyang

[Matt23]

ugh... trade jobs and me don't mix...   I think I was ranting a bit...  I've also tried some of the more artistic things that seem more practical, but I do actually think I'm supposed to be working with people somehow....   Togetherness and community are big values for me, and recently I was in the university cafeteria and thinking about how the university puts on all these different events, but it seems like it doesn't really create a cohesive culture...  I thought if, instead of several bulletin boards across the campus, there was one central circular shaped hub with all notices on it, it might act as a type of anchor for people (increasing also the probabilities of people interacting and, if it wasn't in the hallways, it might get more visits since it's not in a thoroughfare)... 

Maybe some sort of social design...  incorporating both physical (like architecture) and process (like how communication happens between people/groups, etc.) to create smoother and more cohesive social systems and organizations.

But also having more people have enlightenment experiences would be great too, even though I've not had one.  

To be in some role where I can be some sort of "in-between" guy, where I'm interacting with different people throughout the day and trying to make the whole thing (organization of some kind) work together smoothly, efficiently, benevolently, and healthily...  So I could be interacting with others, giving advice and leading, while also being able to step back and not be "in the thick of it" all the time and develop ideas, use wisdom, take my time, get the big picture, etc. 

I'd love to be able to run my own center I think...  To be able to explore all the various modalities for healing, psychology, spirituality, and develop new ones...  I'm just not sure what exact skills I should be working on...  This is a very general dream, but I'm not sure about  the more specific skills I'd master (I'd definitely like to master something, I'm just not sure what yet) that would help this vision...

I think I want a skill to master, for a large part maybe because I feel I need it to be "good enough", but also because I want that warm feeling, that centerdness and security in knowing I have something nobody can take away, something I can come to in lonely days and hard times that will guide me and center me... something that I know brings me joy....  something I can obsess over... to lose myself in...  something where my genius flows through... something which sparks my passion and creativity... something magical...  I guess I feel lost without that skill, that thing I can do to center me... I want one so bad...

Edited February 27, 2020 by Matt23

[supremeyingyang]

2 minutes ago, Matt23 said:

ogetherness and community are big values for me, and recently I was in the university cafeteria and thinking about how the university puts on all these different events, but it seems like it doesn't really create a cohesive culture...  I thought if, instead of several bulletin boards across the campus, there was one central circular shaped hub with all notices on it, it might act as a type of anchor for people (increasing also the probabilities of people interacting and, if it wasn't in the hallways, it might get more visits since it's not in a thoroughfare)...

Lol, I thought the same. Good luck in that. Most people do no want this at their current level AND if you get them together there will be tons of problems. So one has to be prepared for the fighting and the politics. See, right this would be damn beneficial if you would invent a recipe of how to strenghten sommunities

[Matt23]

@supremeyingyang   Yeah, problems, but sometimes problems are there and you just gotta work through them.  I feel like community and togetherness are things I'm willing to fight for.  

Hmmm...a recipe you say?... haha... yeah...  It seems to me like this is where spirituality and enlightenment work might come in handy...  Ego seems to be a central issue, and that if people didn't have a sense of self to defend and survive, doing the ultimate "good" would be effortless.  Like the "right" or most beneficial ways to be (and be together) would be way more easy to do.  Then again, that's my image of enlightenment and what it can do, and it might be severely flawed (I remember hearing from Leo about monks in Japan who killed each other).  So maybe it would involve not only enlightenment but other facets of growth...

Maybe some enlightenment method which A) gets people into non-dual awareness, B) brings people together (is group centered).

Or/And...

Maybe inventing some sort of practice/method/community which not only enhances one aspect of growth (ex: non-duality vs. parenting vs. technology vs. morality, etc.) but all or multiple parts simultaneously....   Like a place (a community or a center) which is so multi-dimensional and holistic that being there raises the bars on so many levels at once....   Like the architecture, the scheduling, the communication skills, the individual people, the ethics, the teachings/classes, the food, the play, etc.  all work together like a puzzle, in unison.

[Matt23]

I feel like there's a lot of enlightenment techniques that are solo, and that the group aspect is lacking.  Not saying the solo is "bad", but for some people working in a group setting might be way more motivating.  Like chanting, dancing, or something else entirely new.  But something that gets people into group-flow and "group-enlightenment".

[Leo Gura]

3 hours ago, Matt23 said:

It seems i'm more interested in psychology, working with people, and spirituality, so I don't really feel i have anything to work on their.

You have tons to work on there.

You're overlooking the obvious. That is your skill set.

Quote

Like it's all impractical stuff that I can't really "do" or be creative with. It's just talking with people n' thinking, etc.  More abstract.  

You can do it and you can get very creative with it. Your thinking here is just too narrow and materialistic.

Abstract is good. Gives you lots of creative room. Your mind is just lazy with being creative. It's like you've been given a blank canvas and you are complaining there's nothing to work with.

Own your passions and get to work.

[Matt23]

@Leo Gura  One concern I have with spirituality is that I may be creating a "phony" life purpose out of it.  When I talk to people about it, I remember feeling quite excited about it.  But part of me thinks it might just be a "faux" life purpose as you've spoken about (more about ego and getting basic needs met than true inspiration).  I think this because, yeah, it seems I'm passionate about talking about it, learning about it, but implementing it is another story.  I enjoy contemplating a bit, but I find my meditation and self-inquiry are often a struggle to do.  I've got to force it mostly.  On the other hand, I think my more basic needs haven't and aren't being met and I may have a lot of shadow, trauma, and neuroses going on which may be making things way harder and "pulling me down".  

I also think low self-esteem and self-image ("I'm not good enough" etc.) may be playing a role as well.

 What would you say would be fairly accurate signs that distinguish a true life purpose from a false one?

 

[Identity]

It might be helpful to think about it as “choosing a skillset” instead of “finding your skillset”.

Robert Fritz talks about how we often think there is some kind of passion to be found, either internally or externally. This can create a lot of confusion and doubt. “Is this IT?!”

If instead you just go with the flow and start choosing to engage in the things that interest you, it will snowball into a direction that you can, looking back, call your passion/skillset.

Consider that there might be multiple avenues, multiple skillsets, that might yield similar satisfaction, passion and value to the world.

[Matt23]

@Shiva I think that puts things into a new and perhaps more realistic perspective.  I just don't want to make a wrong decision and then realize that I've wasted my life.  I feel like I need that one thing.  I really want to know that it's that right thing.  "Right" thing.  I think I might be stuck on thinking there is some sort of one thing I need to do that 's meant for me, and that it's out there for me, or in me.  That it's not about just doing random stuff, that it's about finding my "true purpose", like it's God-given or something.  I dunno.  Maybe some sort of destiny-type thinking about it.  Thanks though.

Thanks all for your responses.

[LfcCharlie4]

Like Leo said, what's wrong with Psychology and Spirituality. If you could merge the 2 in some sort of therapy practice you could revolutionize people's lives? 

If you need something practical you could create Courses/ Books/ Articles etc that could help people with different issues. 

But, if you aren't passionate about then keep thinking mate  

[Mada_]

Have you heard of Transpersonal Psychology; maybe something you'd like to check out.

[Matt23]

@Mada_ yeah, I've heard of it.  I'd really like to learn more about it, especially if it's available in a University setting since then I'll also be able to get certifications.  Do you know how much it differs from, say, simply spiritual teachings?  Is it more comprehensive since it includes the psychology of people?  Is it more therapeutically motivated?  

 Cheers

[Sukhpaal]

For me personally, I volunteered in multiple places. The places I enjoyed volunteering the most, I of course was also successful at them. Then I reflected, how was I successful in those experiences? I observed what came up. For example, I volunteered as a teaching assistant. Through that, I found I am very skilled with children, communication, assisting others, expression, leading by example, etc. 

Try it out! Good luck, its a process. 

[lostmedstudent]

Hey . I feel your struggle

i went into medical school partly because of pressure from my parents . When i got in, i had no idea What i really wanted in life and what im good at. During medical school , i discovered spirituality and for a long time i did not see myself fit in with the rest of the medical students and doctors. Something was off and i felt i wasnt made to fit into this mold.

however, i had no better choice than to continue because becoming a doctor was the most promising career in my hands and plus, i had no idea what my skill sets are. Also i knew that i do like interacting with people. I do find it rewarding to help people with their illnesses and difficult situations . It was more the medical community and rat race that i couldnt endure. 

With my interest in spirituality, i began getting in touch with psychiatrists who are conducting studies with psychedelics with MAPS. This is what made me excited and passionate again about medical school. I found that psychiatry for me is a great way to combine spirituality and my interest and soft people skills. 
it is very possible that i might not get into psychiatry and do a general practice but i began to see the endless possibilities that i can do as a medical doctor to help heal my patients. 

if you love spirituality and psychology, you just have to go for it! Think about what parts of it interest you and dont be afraid to contact people! Talk to people who are doing things that interest you. Through my inquiry with MAPS, i discovered religious groups, met leaders from religious groups, met big names in the psychedelics medicine community. You’d be surprised at how receptive people are even if you have zero connection. 
 

i havent figured it all out yet. Maybe i wont practice as a doctor my entire life and i would be ok with that if that where my heart wants to take me. but i know that following your heart and try new things is the best way to discover your creative potentials!

good luck!