I am ready to get into pick up

[Chumbimba]

I don't really like what the pick up community teaches. Leos pick up video has created limiting beliefs in me.

What I mean is I am ready to go out there and start interacting with more women as I am. Not learning techniques and manipulations. Going out there with my heart on my sleeve and willing to get wounded and go through the pain period. As authentic as possible. I am tired of my habitual dating life. Hoping every day that a woman will fall in my lap. NO MORE !! I WANT TO CREATE MY DATING LIFE AND TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY FOR IT !! The girls who end up in my lap turn out to be easy/whores. I am sick and tired of it. I want quality over quantity but at the same time I would like to create more sexual options. Here are my excuses:

1. I do not want to get rejected. I take rejection super personal. I feel embarrassed and cry after getting rejected. Then I feel embarrassed for crying and feel not macho and like a bitch. 

2. I don't wanna seem creepy or aggressive. I also feel like other people are judging me when I am talking to girls.  It sucks then I judge other guys for talking to the hot girls that I want to talk to while staying in the shadows of them.  I feel like women don't want me to talk to them and hate me and men in general.

3. I am WOUNDED !!: Very wounded by women. I have been cheated (and I have cheated), Left for other guys (I have left girls for other guys too). My relationship with my mom sucks(I am disrespectful to her though and I feel very unloved by her and every time I talk to her ). Every relationship I have had has crashed and burned and I really want to change this.

4. I hate how I look. I am ugly. probably a 5/10. I have a nice body though. 

4.I love women more than anybody in this world. But I don't understand them.  I feel like they hate me. I feel very unattractive to them and I feel like they all hate me. I have been called ugly and scared by a lot of them but I want to change my attitude and perspective to a more loving one. are they perfect ? HELL NO a lot of them are bitches and hoes, but I really do not want that to affect me having healthy relationships. 

I want to become a man and stop being a pussy. all opinions and feedback are invited thank you  

[Chumbimba]

Last point I know life is not about having sex/getting women. But my spiritual growth will be stunted until I get phase of my life completed. 

[Ananta]

Do you try to meet girls in-person? Or just on-line?

You need to act confident, even if you aren't. 

Think positive!!!!

Know that you will get turned down if you approach a lot of women, its just inevitable. Don't take it personal. 

Keep plugging away... don't become some lying/manipulating player, you won't feel better about yourself in the long run.

Sorry your having a rough time ❤

[Chumbimba]

@Anna1I don't have social media so in person. I also am a student at ASU and there are soooo many women on campus but I feel guilty for approaching them and I feel anxious walkig around campus and seeing so many girls and doing nothing I feel weak. 

[Ananta]

19 minutes ago, Chumbimba said:

@Anna1I don't have social media so in person. I also am a student at ASU and there are soooo many women on campus but I feel guilty for approaching them and I feel anxious walkig around campus and seeing so many girls and doing nothing I feel weak. 

Try small talk...don't do cheesy one liners. Then, if they aren't interested, the conversation just fizzles out (no rejection), if they stay engaged then you know there is interest and proceed from there. 

But, girls do expect a man to approach them,  so if interested try to approach.

[Chumbimba]

@Anna1 yeah small talk makes me cringe. I love getting to know people deeply. I know small talk is the entrance into that though 

[Ananta]

Just now, Chumbimba said:

@Anna1 yeah small talk makes me cringe. I love getting to know people deeply. I know small talk is the entrance into that though 

Awe❤

Yeah, if you don't know someone have to start somewhere....

Do you have meetup.com where you live? If so, try it out.

[Chumbimba]

 Holy shit it has all my interests on here !! Lit lit lit thank you !!!

[Ananta]

1 minute ago, Chumbimba said:

 Holy shit it has all my interests on here !! Lit lit lit thank you !!!

?

You can meet women while doing an interesting activity! They also have meetups for singles only!

[Chumbimba]

They even have spirtuality groups !! I cant contain my excitement @Anna1

[Ananta]

3 minutes ago, Chumbimba said:

They even have spirtuality groups !! I cant contain my excitement @Anna1

Awesome!!!!?❤

[Roy]

A strategy that I think is much easier is instead of trying to tackle and break the hard ice of modern pick-up, focus on swimming with the water under it and work on personal development in all the areas except the pick-up. Don't fall into the trap of thinking you have to be perfect in all these things before you even start looking for a woman. Just make steady and stable improvement in them you'll naturally attract better and better women more frequently simply as a by-product. You'll also cut the quantity of work you have to do by doing pick-up by a magnitude of 10x, and you'll avoid a LOT of painful rejections.

- Work on doing well at your job and/or discover your life purpose. Enjoying and being passionate about what you do is huge for a lot of other things. It will give you the basic happiness and fulfillment you need during the day (because you have to be doing something during the day anyways!) and it'll give you the resources (money) to pursue all the other stuff. Leo is big and on this and the Life Purpose Course he made is pretty damn good and affordable (like $200 US now?).

- Fix, improve, optimize your health. Clean up your damn diet so you don't feel like shit and have bad thoughts about yourself (mind&body connection)! Come up with a gym routine, play pick-up games with friends, join a league for a sport you like, WHATEVER you gotta do to exercise just fucking do it lol. You'll start to feel way better in your body and after a while you'll find you won't be judging yourself (mind&body connection) for being "ugly" or out of shape. You'll gain natural confidence as a by product of feeling strong.

- Invest time into genuine hobbies and interests you have. Not only is it fun, but you'll be interesting and have something to talk about with girls. It's attractive as hell hearing someone who is contagious with their passion for something, it's unattractive to be boring and not have anything to talk about passionately and just be like "meh" about everything.

-  Volunteer or get involved with your local community in some capacity. It feels really good and can be really beneficial for developing social skills outside the pressure of work or dating where you're in the context of something being expected of you. Once again something to build confidence and happiness.

There is lots of other stuff but that will keep you busy. Pick-up can be really toxic and give you a warped view of women if you're coming from a place of desperation. I ONLY recommend it if you are completely socially inept with initial attraction and need to learn basic skills, then it's quite useful. Anyways the reason I suggested you work on that other stuff instead of pick-up and relationship advice is because it's more important. If you're struggling in all the other areas it won't matter even if you get a girlfriend because chances are you likely won't keep her, unless she's doing as bad as you are (easy/whores like you mentioned) in which case it's just going to be a disaster of a relationship and it will keep you from growing. Not to mention the obvious; There are way more important things in life than getting your dick wet, it's just for a lot of guys to see that because they are so thirsty it's like they are dehydrated in the desert they become delusional and lose sight of what's important. The only solution they think is to get stuck in that immature cycle of selfish behavior for years to make up for having to wait. Don't be like those guys.

Anyways I'll finish by warning you don't put all your eggs in one basket of trying to solve this problem by only focusing on getting good with girls and doing pick-up. Whether you realize it or not you'll be approaching it from a place of need and desperation and generally women are pretty intuitive and will be able to recognize that and this will turn them off. 

Addressing your concerns in short;

1. Improve yourself broadly. You'll get rejected less and have higher self esteem so rejections stop hurting.

2. Come from a place of abundance. Relationships and sex are not the most important thing to you. Believe that and you'll become less creepy/aggressive.

3. Accept the reality of your past and current. It may not appear so but consider you might actually subconsciously like moping about it. Whatever the case acceptance is key, then you can move onto healing.

4. Take responsibility for your health and grooming. All that matters is how attractive YOU think you are. Embrace your ego here until you transcend it and don't need it. Some girl thinks you're a 6? "Bitch please, I'm an 8 at least. And I know it because I'm ripped and healthy."

5. Women are counter-intuitive and illogical. This isn't a bad thing. Accept this and embrace your feminine side and you'll grow to appreciate this. Your frustration comes from neurotically trying to interpret women through a male worldview. Deliberately step outside of yourself and into their shoes. You'll shed toxic ideas and become better at healthy relationships.

I hope this helps - Roy

Edited February 27, 2020 by Roy

[michaelwat]

yea do pickup and you will get good with girls. At some point once you get alot of girls ull see its such surface level shit and ull hit a point  where u just want a long term loving relationship. In other words you will evolve.

[Austin Actualizing]

Rejection is going to happen whether you like it or not. There is no avoiding that no matter how amazing of a guy you are. 

The action step is very simple: Talk/flirt with a lot of women that you're attracted to. Have a weekly quota of how many you will approach and talk to (the more the better). The more women you put yourself in front of and flirt with the better. I would also highly recommend trying out NoFap (no porn, no ejaculation) for 90 days or more. It will greatly increase your energy, confidence, charisma, mental cognition, happiness, etc. There is a community on Reddit called NoFap with 561,000 members and thousands of success stories. Check it out if you'd like. I've done a streak of 210 days and it was life changing! @Chumbimba

[Chumbimba]

@Austin Actualizing I have been on No fap since november of 2017 !! Its completely transformed my life. Thats why I am so thirsty all the time lol 

[PlayTheGame]

Damn I need to get on Nofap. Porn is so good tho its hard to quit it. But I will!

[Villager Albert]

@PlayTheGame 1st 2 weeks are the hardest, man, then it becomes super easy.

Tell a friend you'll give him $100 if you ever watch porn again and you won't.