Lack of bodily sensation during meditation/ increased sense of awareness

[Adodd]

I have had my meditation timer set for 23 mins for the last two or three months. 4 days ago was the first day I missed a session. I had just gotten into a unnecessary argument with my significant other. I allowed myself to get so tangled up in emotions i didny meditate. Since than I became aware of the mistakes I made in that situation and bumped my timer up to 30 mins. My meditation sessions since then have gotten so unusually deep to the point where my awareness is on itself solely. I seem to lose the sense of my body. For example; my hands are placed on my lap but I no longer have the sensation of have my hands on my lap. Does that make sense? My hands in my lap, back pain, pressure between my ass and my cushion all become ONE sensation (or lack of sensation, not sure which). I do however have an increased sense of awareness and feeling of contentment. It is almost comparable to the very beginning effects of the first hit of DMT to a less extreme extent. A part of me begins to want to laugh and as soon as it gets intense enough that I begin to smile uncontrollably I lose the momentum.

 What the hell is this? Is there a way to go deeper? 

Thoughts or experience PLEASE??

[Nahm]

@Adodd  I hear ya. Nice. Sounds like what I think Vipassana refers to as the subtle body / bliss. I like ‘inner being’. By any chance, do you notice a subtle taste / feeling in your gums, and does it have a tinge of nitrous feeling, and or the feeling of drinking Kombucha?  If not, that probably sounds nuts but I’m curious. Thanks. 

 

[cetus]

Did you notice there was no "you" yet something remained? Something very subtle.

[Eph75]

That's reaching "access concentration". Just don't let it distract you and don't try to make sense or reason with it and you will move on to other states. With time you get there really quickly, within minutes.

[steenadrianmr]

@Adodd

Sometimes when I meditate I lose the feelings in my body. By feelings I mean the sensations, the touch if you will.

Whenever this happens my heart rate increases, I can feel my heart pounding and my mind keeps thinking about my limbs getting larger, stretching, shrinking, increasing in size etc. 

It's as if I am seeing with my mind's eye, but not completely mental imagery either. I have no idea how to explain it. It's as if I ''feel'' my hands are going up, down, shrinking, increasing in size, streched as a spaghetti although not ridiculously lengthy. Also, it feels as if my mind is living a life of its own, going crazy. I have no idea if I am making myself understandable here, but would appreciate feedback.

I doubt that's what you are experiencing, but hey. Perhaps it is just me thinking it might be something significant even though it's not.

Have a great day! Good luck to you and your S.O.

Edited February 21, 2020 by steenadrianmr

[Adodd]

@cetus56 "Subtle" is a very fitting word and yes! One is told to not "become"  or get "attached to" their thoughts  or feelings when meditating and it is a similar feeling of disconnect,  but instead of a disconnect with mental phenomena it is a disconnect from physical phenomena. I am still aware of the body but I no longer am a part of it? Almost an out of body experience with only my quiet "Inner witness" remaining. That's my best explanation anyway. As soon as my thoughts or egotistical awareness realizes this is happening the experience subsides.

Edited February 22, 2020 by Adodd

[cetus]

@Adodd

24 minutes ago, Adodd said:

As soon as my thoughts or egotistical awareness realizes this is happening the experience subsides.

With a bit more practice you can become aware of thoughts just as they begin to emerge at the most subtle level as if they were bubbles rising in a viscous liquid.

[Adodd]

@cetus56 I look forward to progressing and seeing where this path takes me! I assume you have had similar experiences? 

[Adodd]

@steenadrianmr I don't notice any increased heart rate or anything like that but my flesh does feel more "plump". I am probably explaining it horribly. My point about it happening right after an argument is that I thought the emotional almost breakdown happening right before this started may somehow be directly related? Would that make sense?

[Adodd]

6 hours ago, Eph75 said:

That's reaching "access concentration". Just don't let it distract you and don't try to make sense or reason with it and you will move on to other states. 

@Eph75 I am glad you brought this up. Through some freak coincidence I clicked on Leo's video called "concentration vs meditation", in which he mentions reaching this "access concentration". I have been hardcore concentrating on my breath and navel before I reach this state so this term is something that really caught my attention however I'm not sure I really understand what it is. Is it just a temporary mind state? Is it a higher state of consciousness or awareness(this is how it feels)? Is it just clarity through concentrating or just extreme concentration? All of the above maybe?

Edited February 22, 2020 by Adodd

[Eph75]

On 2020-02-22 at 4:57 AM, Adodd said:

@Eph75 I am glad you brought this up. Through some freak coincidence I clicked on Leo's video called "concentration vs meditation", in which he mentions reaching this "access concentration". I have been hardcore concentrating on my breath and navel before I reach this state so this term is something that really caught my attention however I'm not sure I really understand what it is. Is it just a temporary mind state? Is it a higher state of consciousness or awareness(this is how it feels)? Is it just clarity through concentrating or just extreme concentration? All of the above maybe?

Sorry, I struggle with the length of my posts. This got even longer than usual. Also more personal than usual 

In meditation, things don't mean much and it's a bit of a trap to try to put meaning on things. We love trying to make meaning out of things even if there is no meaning to be found. We create meaning. But it is only adding distracting and preventing us from going further. 

Meditation - well this form of it at least - is about doing nothing so that nothing can do its work on you. 

With that said, there's your question  "when" this happens, and you're perfectly right. It happens when you manage to reduce your mind straying about. The absolute best is to try having "no thought" but that is extremely hard. For me I get the sensation of falling into a blackness when that happens and usually I get pulled right back out due to reacting/thinking about it. When I manage to let myself stay there for a while time is lost, it's like sleeping but not sleepy. Although - and as of yet - I can only manage short bursts of this state. I'd love to be able to stay there for hours. 

While "no thought" is hard, "less thought" is easier but still the mind wants to stray. By focusing on one single thing, it doesn't matter what that is, it can be a hand, a finger, foot, forehead, "third eye" , pulse in arm, sensation of passning air at the base of your nostrils, and by being strict on not letting mind wander at the same time as minimizing thoughts/analysis, you will reach access concentration. 

I myself put my thought into the void behind the blackness of the visual field and find that more "no thought" can be found there. But whatever works works.

So in short, access concentration is when you've calmed the mind so that it doesn't do thought-hopping. It is just the first stage of increased concentration and you should allow yourself to go further. This is where it gets tricky, as it feels amazingly good beyond this point, and the acknowlegdement of this sensation is thought, and thought takes you out of it. So you need to learn to not let the occassional thought interfere with the process, let it go.

With time that occassional thought will interfere less. And with time those occassional thoughts will be fewer. It's difficult to say that you have no thought, that's probably impossible but they can be let passed without attention. 

When staying in access concentration for a while, the next pleasure challenge will come, the "rising and passing away". They are probably very individual so this is highly subjective, and for me it is usually (99% of the time) one of a limited few differnt forms of the same type of lightning effects. The absolutely most common is that a black/blueish-metallic void appear in the visual spectrum (eyes closed) , rather large and it moves away getting more concentrated. As it gets smaller it grows an outer orange/firey glow around the edges and as it grows the void shrinks down to a glowing electric dot and then down to nothing, at the same time as the organge light grows up to 100% of the visual field. At the same time as it reaches 100% it turns into a new black void that shoots off into the distance. That cycle is repeated over and over, sometimes a very short while, less than a minute, sometimes maybe 15 minutes (time perspective is problematic when you get to this point), but usually somewhere inbetween. Sometimes the orange is circling around the void and end up exiting right, never left.

You know when you get here, these phenomena are not subtle, they are absolute. Why does it do that? What does it mean?

So what does it mean. Nothing. Just be along for the ride and don't react when it ends. Place no thought or meaning to the intensity nor length of the phenomena, it's distraction. Also don't try getting here, that's also distraction. Do nothing.

With time you get to this state quicker and quicker. Currently I'm there somewhere between 3 and 15 minutes into the meditation, wholey depending on how much peace of mind I've had during the day. If I'm having good days I even get here when awaken, when going to bed in the evening, after being to the restroom in the night or during my meditative morning walk. 

This got very personal, I try not going personal but since the meditation experience is fully subjective I felt it might be helpful to hear what it can be like. 

Also, these two states are the easy ones, they are more of switch-on states that defines the start of the meditation session, you will get through them and you will learn to get through them quickly.

Key is "do nothing, think nothing, just sit". 

If you want some reading, I'd recommend Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha by Daniel Ingram. It's free both as audio book and pdf. Audio book only first edition though, I think. 

https://www.integrateddaniel.info/book

Also Ten Happier podcast by Dan Harris Ep. #187 Is Enlightenment Possible for Regular People with said Daniel might also be interesting. Dan Harris has more podcasts on the topic that might be worth looking into. 

Edited February 23, 2020 by Eph75

[Adodd]

@Eph75 Thank you so much for the ectensive in depth reply! No need for apologies. This is a subject that doesn't always have quick answers and I understand that. That was perhaps the best response I have received on this forum.

I will add that book to my book list. It is easier for me to have a physical copy than to stare at a screen.

[Eph75]

@Adodd Thanks for the kind words  I'm here to help as much as I can.