Is self actualization necessary?

[Son of leo]

I would like to be actualized but this path is way too thorny, especially for me. How do you guys feel about this? 

 

[DreamScape]

Theres no other way it could be.

Im okay with it though. This is one of the best things you can ever do, imo.

[Eph75]

1 hour ago, Son of leo said:

I would like to be actualized but this path is way too thorny, especially for me. How do you guys feel about this? 

 

Why do you want to actualize? The very reason why is often the wrong reason as to why doing it.

E.g. people do it because it seems to be a good thing, want to be like others, have others look up to you as you do look up to others that seem to have their shit sorted. Using it to get rich and famous, get all the materialistic stuff you always wanted. And so on, and so on. 

Sure you can fulfill petty desires like that, but the underlying drive is about getting away from all of that. 

Typically when you find your way into self-actualization you've already sorted out some psychological basic needs. 

But it's easy to just look at YouTube videos (Leo) , finding the way to a forum, call yourself "son of Leo"  and then try to be something because it seems neat - that is not a good thing.

There are a lot of people here with rather severe psychological issues that needs to be sorted out in order for the rest to fall in place. Without that there's going to be a lot of confusion. 

The path is thorny because you don't like what you find, or don't understand what you see. And maybe you have not already committed to change, as it's all about changing as an individual. People don't realize that by pursuing self-actualization you have to let go of who you think you are and allow something new to emerge. 

More likely is there going to be a desire for change - whatever that is you don't know - but at the same time having a tremendous internal resistence toward changing who you think you are. 

Is self-actualization necessary? No. Developmental growth will still happen to some extent, for different reasons. That can lead towards self-actualization and a different perspective. But fully dedicating your life to transcending your current "self" is not for everyone and can cause more suffering than it would have without the desire to self-actualize - whatever you, at whatever state you happen to be at, think that it means and what it will give you. 

So, what is your "why"... That why defines the need. When that why is strong enough and the current state is causing too much suffering, then, life tend to find its way into this stuff and you could just happen to find yourself smack-in-the-middle of the initiation of a self-actualizing process without noticing. From that stance it is much easier to accept what you find. 

Edited February 20, 2020 by Eph75

[Preety_India]

Yes absolutely 

 

[remember]

1 hour ago, Son of leo said:

I would like to be actualized but this path is way too thorny, especially for me. How do you guys feel about this? 

 

well you are always walking a path of self actualization - does not have to do with a brand. even though we all meet ourselves here together under this roof. it sometimes seems like it’s much to hard or much to thorny to walk a path - but no one exactly tells you where to start or with what to start. so you can take the path without the thorns first and then slowly test if you also could handle a little rougher or steeper path - it also comes in levels.

[Bill W]

It's less thorny than the alternative. 

[Commodent]

Necessary for what?

[Son of leo]

12 hours ago, Eph75 said:

 But fully dedicating your life to transcending your current "self" is not for everyone and can cause more suffering than it would have without the desire to self-actualize - whatever you, at whatever state you happen to be at, think that it means and what it will give you. 

 

@Eph75 I dont want to transcend myself if that causes more suffering because I'm running away from suffering. 

Also, yes I want materialistic gain but without transcending myself. I fear I might get more depressed if I walk this path. Should I still walk it?  

How am I to get rich? 

[Son of leo]

@Commodent to get rich and successful in life

[Eph75]

If you just want to make money and think that it will make you happy, you're in the wrong place  All this work here will move you towards seeing that all of that is what is actually causing the suffering you experience. You think that you need to fix something by adding more. When in fact it happens through reduction, especially reducing attachments to ideas that you just need that one more thing and then you can be happy. It will never happen, it will create more needs and more suffering.

Trying to walk both paths and resisting the self-actualization one will create a cognitive dissonance and resulting in even more suffering.

The self-actualization path is the right one to walk. But you have to have matured to a certain degree developmentally speaking in order to appreciate it.

It's like aiming for being the world's fastest at running 100m but you're stuck thinking that it can be achieved without committing to hard training, healthy diet and so on. And you end up just feeling bad/disappointed about remaining slow.

Edited February 21, 2020 by Eph75

[Son of leo]

@DreamScape @Preety_India @remember @Bill W

Thank you! You opinions are highly valued.

 

[Son of leo]

@Eph75 Yeah, but I'm too young to go become a sage. What about my parents? 

And how am I gonna support myself financially if i become a sage? 

[Eph75]

Who says you have to become a sage 

There's a misunderstanding that when being unattached - or less attached - to desires you're not supposed to make money or own things. That's not so, you can still do all of that but for different and more powerful reasons, or even for no reason at all. The things or pursuits won't own you. You don't need to be rich, but it's convenient to be able to buy things. You don't need a luxurious car to travel from A to B. You don't need to buy self-esteem. You don't have to look good in others' eyes. And so on.

Being poor, you still need to cover some basic needs, so that you don't suffer in poverty, struggling with food and shelter and so on. But do you need to be "rich" - and more importantly - why do you think that you need to be rich? And what is true success?

Edited February 21, 2020 by Eph75

[Son of leo]

@Eph75 You are right. I realize my folly now. I guess I can do both. 

 

And according to me true success is having lots of money and being happy. Also why do u meditate? Isn't it to be happy?

[Eph75]

To me success is to effortlessly live in the current moment.

I meditate in order increase my concentration levels, have better focus, have space of mind and a calmness and clarity that makes me see what I wouldn't see otherwise. It reduces mental chatter and as a result productive ideas seem to appear from nowhere when not even trying. It's a help in consciousness development. It does not make you happy by itself, but it helps creating a setting in which you can work on yourself from a creative perspective.

It brings you closer to new insights.

Edited February 21, 2020 by Eph75

[Son of leo]

Gotta agree but isn't that increasing market competition if everyone starts meditating? ? wont that make everyone creative? Also there are situations where there is no win win

[Eph75]

Yeah sure  but if you think about it, competition is usually about achieving excess and not just enough to cover the basic needs so that you can focus on being happy. We're products of a world in which we need to win, earn big, make success, be liked, having others look up to us, be beautiful, have the perfect poster-life and so on. Oh all that distraction...

[Son of leo]

Yeah true

[Nahm]

@Son of leo Any reasoning as to why you can not live the self actualized life and experience everything you want to in your life, is up to you. Attachment as suffering to be addressed, is not to things, as there are no “things”, the attachment is to the thoughts. Start simple, with a cup. Notice the perception is only the perception, and the word “cup” is a thought. A thought is not what that is, as a thought is a thought, and perception is perception. Seems like your dad would have covered this rudimentary stuff...?

[Son of leo]

@Nahm I want to live the self actualized life but no one is supporting me in the society. They are all against me. That's why I said this path is way too thorny for me. Not being able to walk down this path is causing more suffering so I wanted to know if self actualization was really necessary... and yeah my dad taught me that lol