Pickup Communication Sticking Point

[ravlondon]

I have a problem walking up to a girl and starting and maintaining a dialogue. I normally just start asking generic questions.

I am great at making conversation when there is an overarching context and there is a back and forth, such as at work or in a situation when the person is made to stay there but when the person is not responding with much more than one word answers I find it difficult to read their minds and I ask simple questions.

There are many possible reasons for this:  -I feel guilty for 'taking up their time', -I'm not in state/momentum, -Lack of practise. -Thinking too much about myself.

Any advice on how to overcome this?

 

 

[Arcangelo]

1 hour ago, ravlondon said:

Any advice on how to overcome this?

You don't, you move on.

One word answers mean: GTFO of my face

 

Arc

[Meetjoeblack]

21 minutes ago, Arcangelo said:

You don't, you move on.

One word answers mean: GTFO of my face

 

Arc

This. +1

Which is why my pragmatic approach is blow me or blow me out. 

Genuine desire or #nextSet! 

If there's ever a point, you feel like you are having to be pushing the convo, drop set and approach more or merge sets. Mix sets. I've pawned girls off on betas. It's self amusing. 

I posted a vlog by better bachelor breaking down a woman, age 34 seeking white picket fence after a series of past indiscretions. 

 

To each their own. She's free to do whatever whenever the same way you are OP. A ruthless question that comes to mind, is she giving you her best? Is it genuine desire? 

[Gili Trawangan]

5 hours ago, ravlondon said:

I normally just start asking generic questions.

This will not do.

Turn your questions into assumptions and start guessing. "You look like a yoga teacher" instead of "What do you do?". This is better, she will more easily engage. It doesn't matter whether you are right, it leads to conversation.

Ideally, you will want to make flirty statements, not just do boring assumptions. Practice, practice, practice.

[ravlondon]

Nice point 

1 hour ago, Gili Trawangan said:

Turn your questions into assumptions and start guessing. "You look like a yoga teacher" instead of "What do you do?". This is better, she will more easily engage. It doesn't matter whether you are right, it leads to conversation.

Ideally, you will want to make flirty statements, not just do boring assumptions. Practice, practice, practice.

 

[Preety_India]

Work on your communication skills. Girls like flirty talk 

Get flirtatious with her. Don't ask boring questions. It puts her off. 

I remember an Australian dude asking me a bunch of nonsense questions 2 years ago. Very nauseating. I had to turn him down although he looked handsome. But he was making the first encounter like a police interrogation. He asked me if we could do a short question answer session. At first it was fun but a little later his questions got more intense and uncomfortable for a first encounter things like family and personal life which I definitely won't open up on a first time conversation. I'm shy so it was getting clumsy and his questioning felt like intrusion. I can say it honestly felt like a job interview. 

At the end I just said no thanks and I moved on. 

He got pissed. 

But that's how it is. 

In the beginning of the conversation I was happy to answer his questions and wanted him to flirt a bit with me but after 20 minutes I really wanted out, like I was just giving one word answers. 

Like Arcangelo says here, that's true, he knows from experience, I started giving 1 word answer because I got too tired of the questions and then it was like GTFO. That's what one word answer means - She is bored and doesn't want it. 

Try not to ask generic questions at all. 

Instead of that, go like this 

"hey I like how you do this" 

"would you mind if I did this for you" 

"hey, let me take care of it" 

Any friendly gesture, show appreciation, girls like praise, it's turn on, appreciate them on their appearance or the work they do, get sneaky, show interest like you really want her, the questions you ask are because of thoughts hovering in your mind, your doubts about her or if she will accept or reject, remove those doubts, focus on showing her that you want her. 

A very flirtatious guy will directly ask out for a date like "hey I'd love to hang out with you someday, how about this weekend?" or "would you like to have coffee?"..... Something along those lines. Personally If I were a guy I would have been extremely persuasive and direct like Arcangelo because I will let you on a secret, girls love the direct way, the energy of a guy, his persuasion, his wanting, his flirting. They get turned on. Only thing is it shouldn't appear creepy. 

But this is the biggest secret in getting a girl, show her you want her, sometimes it can come off as needy/desperate but only to some women, others might find it pleasantly surprising and refreshing to see the confidence in a guy!! "

That's why they tell you to be confident. Confident doesn't mean boasting, I actually get turned off by boasting. Confidence means the need to directly express your wanting and interest. A woman likes to be chased, to be desired. Show that she is being desired. 

Your low key questioning will turn her off and make her feel like you are trying too hard. Don't do that.. Act natural. 

I had an encounter with a Mexican dude once.. He was from Puerto Rico. Don't know if he is Mexican or not. I'll just say Hispanic. He was obsessed with me. He was being very persuasive not ready to leave me. It did creep me out a bit but it was also a huge turn out. I was gushing, I would have wanted him but I already had a boyfriend so I had to turn him down. He wouldn't let go and insisting I leave my boyfriend at the time. So I had to politely turn him down but if I didn't have a boyfriend then I would have certainly fallen for his flirting and persuasion. 

Women do resist for many reasons, wanting to have sex with a desirable male can be a tough decision for a woman because she doesn't want to easily get emotionally involved, her mind isn't always ready to say YES, but if she feels free and secure with the guy and goes beyond the sexual tension and frenzy then she is ready for it. 

It just takes time. Most women reject and sometimes regret it. Their biology gets the better of them. But when in a state of relaxed and calm, a woman is more likely to say yes, the trick is to gain her trust and get the momentum. 

But all of this only with genuine intent to want her and have her 

 

Best of luck..

I get all of my information on female nature from Arcangelo's posts .. Women don't know themselves very well, sometimes men know them better. 

Gotta give him credit for being a good chaser. He seems to have comprehensively studied women. 

 

So from the Yoda of pickup

 

Sincerely Arc, Only on Actualized.org 

 

 

Edited February 20, 2020 by Preety_India

[Meetjoeblack]

3 hours ago, Gili Trawangan said:

This will not do.

Turn your questions into assumptions and start guessing. "You look like a yoga teacher" instead of "What do you do?". This is better, she will more easily engage. It doesn't matter whether you are right, it leads to conversation.

Ideally, you will want to make flirty statements, not just do boring assumptions. Practice, practice, practice.

+1

Statements over question/interview mode. Be bold. Life favors the bold. The biggest misunderstanding of pickup is that it's cheesy lines. You break the ice and rapport by any means necessary. Legal obviously. That's opening. Questionaire is anti seductive. Statements are bold. Even bolder is INSTRUCTIONS. Compliance being King. There's nothing more telling in game then compliance. A lack thereof of means next set. There's no ambivalence here. Hard to get or any shenanigans is met with approaching more. It is a numbers game. Every coach or mpua says it for a reason. 

A miniscule amount of people you will have any sort of relationship. Sexual or other. All you need to do is vet your match which is the point of approaching and sifting through volumes of people. 

It's unmistakable when acquiring high interest, Sexual advances, and genuine desire. It is important to learn and become aware of IOIs (indicators of interest) and or choosing signals. 

Approach. Allocate the Currency of your time to girls who want to be with you. 

[Preety_India]

4 minutes ago, Meetjoeblack said:

+1

Statements over question/interview mode. Be bold. Life favors the bold. The biggest misunderstanding of pickup is that it's cheesy lines. You break the ice and rapport by any means necessary. Legal obviously. That's opening. Questionaire is anti seductive. Statements are bold. 

Good. +1

And even flirting along with statements.