Has Anyone Here Overcome Social Anxiety?

[PepperBlossoms]

Actually I think I figured it out... may be superficial but its a start...

for people with parents who GOSSIP a lot about other's downfalls, and/or who CRITICIZE them on every mistake they have... or CRITICIZE just about anything that goes wrong all the time - as in - the DINNER TABLE topic everyday...

the child learns to be judgmental - first it may be towards others.. but then it is towards themselves.. 

then they start to think that everyone else is judging them based on how they judge themselves...

because the judgments are happening, they feel anxious around other people

you have to turn it off.

Now I know why I get so mad that my mom keeps gossiping about PEOPLE rather than talking about IDEAS.. all she talks about is other people

The parents think it is okay in their mind to call out other's shortcomings, but it is really TOXIC to a child's development.

The question is how to turn the focus away from people who, in your mind you think are judging you, to the actual task that is happening with those people.

[kag101]

@Rilles sure, man <3

i know how much it sucks to have social anxiety. so i really hope you can get better. 

And btw, don't underestimate the power of free-association therapy. it seems like "you're just talking", but it is actually much deeper than that. Counterintuitvely, this type of "freer" approach helps me more than "goal-oriented" therapy.  

10 hours ago, Rilles said:

Have you asked her if she thinks that it is a good idea to see a psychiatrist? Maybe you're feeling things so intensely because you might have a chemical unbalance... 

Thats an interesting perspective... Ill definitley ask her that. Thanks for supporting me. ❤️

I really hope you do ask her that. This can be a game-changer. 

[mo90]

I had social anxiety, OCD, ADHD, GAD, eye-contact problems, real fear issues.... I remember really how bad it felt... I remember going online for solutions and clinging to every optimistic opinion and obsessively read it... I was so pathetic.

now, 2 years later, I am dominating every freaking social interaction (it also helps me getting laid hahaha). I have a very strong eye-contact, I dominate interactions, I am gaining females attraction and males respect even though I have a horribly ugly appearance. I am a real alpha male. I am getting admired, respected, highly valued, highly looked upon, desired.. with every interaction with a person or a group of people. briefly, when people look at me, I see -very clearly- that they are amazed, impressed and most importantly submitted. I feel like a beast.

The main thing is to train yourself to get comfortable with the uncomfortable... so the main technique that all the sub-techniques derive from is to : deliberatly put yourself in fearful/uncomfortable/unpleasant situations (like social gatherings or whatever feels uncomfortable to you) .. so it's not only accepting fear/anxiety..etc and being ok with it, but deliberately going towards it and deliberately seeking it like you are thirsty for it.

 

So just to give you a direct thing to apply in your life: if you apply them you might get rid of it in a week believe me (it took me 2 year to figure it out).. just focus on doing the practices (techniques), don't try to understand how the problem works or how these solutions work... just freaking do them as much as you can:

 

- the main technique/practice (mindset + attitude): 

deliberately put yourself in fearful/uncomfortable/unpleasant situations

 

- the sub-techniques/practices (habits) - mandatory:

* take a cold shower every morning for 3-5 minutes (WARNING: gradually find your way into it, not 100% cold water from day 1, watch Wim Hof for this and follow his safety guidelines).

* do Strong Determination Sits as often as possible.. at least twice per month, preferably more (watch Leo's video: meditation on steroids - Shinzen Young's video: strong determination sits)

* do (as often as possible) something that invloves sprinting, like: football - running - high intensity interval training (for running).... 4 times per week is good enough. 

* Nofap (start with 90 days of hard-mode, then easy-mode for the rest of your life).

* intermittent fasting (preferrably Sadhguru's way). or any other kind of fasting. also as often as possible.

 

 

- the sub-techniques/practices (habits) - optional:

* take walks - an hour or a half as often as possible (don't under estimate this)

* do Shambhavi Mahamudra - 21 minutes / daily (watch sadhguru's video) .. if you do this daily, after 6 months you will not be able to feel anxiety/fear even if you want to + a lot of other unbelievable benefits... it's pure magic!

* stop social media

* no caffine (or at least reduce it)

* workout (at home or at the gym) 3-4 times per week is good

* sauna (every now and then).

* a full day of dopamine fast (2-4) times per year (the more you do it the better), it's very very effective ... watch it on the (improvement pill) youtube channel

* eye contact: lock eyes with people when you talk to them as long as you can.. when you break it, start over.

 

 

Keep in mind:

- the more number of these practices you do, the faster you'll get rid of social anxiety (and all other kinds of anxiety disorders)

- the more frequently/often you do them, the faster you'll get rid of social anxiety (and all other kinds of anxiety disorders)

- you can take yourself gradually into them (in terms of: how many of them - how frequently - how intense) ... except for nofap (don't do it gradually, start now).

- it's a journey.... the more you do, the faster progress you make... it can be finish in one week, and it can be finished in a couple of years.. it all depends on how many, how frequent and how intense you do the work.

- these techniques are not only to overcome social anxiety... they have a very long list of amazing other benefits also like: happiness levels that you can never imagine existed - higher intelligence - better physical fitness - feeling aliveness and relief like when you were a child - amazing immune system - confidence through the roof - gains with the opposite sex - mental clarity - higher productivity - social popularity ....etc. you'll be on fire!

- the most important thing is to get settled into the habit i.e: continuity

[Rilles]

16 hours ago, mo90 said:

I had social anxiety, OCD, ADHD, GAD, eye-contact problems, real fear issues.... I remember really how bad it felt... I remember going online for solutions and clinging to every optimistic opinion and obsessively read it... I was so pathetic.

now, 2 years later, I am dominating every freaking social interaction (it also helps me getting laid hahaha). I have a very strong eye-contact, I dominate interactions, I am gaining females attraction and males respect even though I have a horribly ugly appearance. I am a real alpha male. I am getting admired, respected, highly valued, highly looked upon, desired.. with every interaction with a person or a group of people. briefly, when people look at me, I see -very clearly- that they are amazed, impressed and most importantly submitted. I feel like a beast.

The main thing is to train yourself to get comfortable with the uncomfortable... so the main technique that all the sub-techniques derive from is to : deliberatly put yourself in fearful/uncomfortable/unpleasant situations (like social gatherings or whatever feels uncomfortable to you) .. so it's not only accepting fear/anxiety..etc and being ok with it, but deliberately going towards it and deliberately seeking it like you are thirsty for it.

 

So just to give you a direct thing to apply in your life: if you apply them you might get rid of it in a week believe me (it took me 2 year to figure it out).. just focus on doing the practices (techniques), don't try to understand how the problem works or how these solutions work... just freaking do them as much as you can:

 

- the main technique/practice (mindset + attitude): 

deliberately put yourself in fearful/uncomfortable/unpleasant situations

 

- the sub-techniques/practices (habits) - mandatory:

* take a cold shower every morning for 3-5 minutes (WARNING: gradually find your way into it, not 100% cold water from day 1, watch Wim Hof for this and follow his safety guidelines).

* do Strong Determination Sits as often as possible.. at least twice per month, preferably more (watch Leo's video: meditation on steroids - Shinzen Young's video: strong determination sits)

* do (as often as possible) something that invloves sprinting, like: football - running - high intensity interval training (for running).... 4 times per week is good enough. 

* Nofap (start with 90 days of hard-mode, then easy-mode for the rest of your life).

* intermittent fasting (preferrably Sadhguru's way). or any other kind of fasting. also as often as possible.

 

 

- the sub-techniques/practices (habits) - optional:

* take walks - an hour or a half as often as possible (don't under estimate this)

* do Shambhavi Mahamudra - 21 minutes / daily (watch sadhguru's video) .. if you do this daily, after 6 months you will not be able to feel anxiety/fear even if you want to + a lot of other unbelievable benefits... it's pure magic!

* stop social media

* no caffine (or at least reduce it)

* workout (at home or at the gym) 3-4 times per week is good

* sauna (every now and then).

* a full day of dopamine fast (2-4) times per year (the more you do it the better), it's very very effective ... watch it on the (improvement pill) youtube channel

* eye contact: lock eyes with people when you talk to them as long as you can.. when you break it, start over.

 

 

Keep in mind:

- the more number of these practices you do, the faster you'll get rid of social anxiety (and all other kinds of anxiety disorders)

- the more frequently/often you do them, the faster you'll get rid of social anxiety (and all other kinds of anxiety disorders)

- you can take yourself gradually into them (in terms of: how many of them - how frequently - how intense) ... except for nofap (don't do it gradually, start now).

- it's a journey.... the more you do, the faster progress you make... it can be finish in one week, and it can be finished in a couple of years.. it all depends on how many, how frequent and how intense you do the work.

- these techniques are not only to overcome social anxiety... they have a very long list of amazing other benefits also like: happiness levels that you can never imagine existed - higher intelligence - better physical fitness - feeling aliveness and relief like when you were a child - amazing immune system - confidence through the roof - gains with the opposite sex - mental clarity - higher productivity - social popularity ....etc. you'll be on fire!

- the most important thing is to get settled into the habit i.e: continuity

Ive done alot of these, they help alot but they dont quite get to the core... anyway, thanks for chiming in.❤️

[Rilles]

On 04/05/2020 at 3:23 AM, kag101 said:

@Rilles sure, man <3

i know how much it sucks to have social anxiety. so i really hope you can get better. 

And btw, don't underestimate the power of free-association therapy. it seems like "you're just talking", but it is actually much deeper than that. Counterintuitvely, this type of "freer" approach helps me more than "goal-oriented" therapy.  

Oh, no, definitely, not saying that doesnt help, it does, but getting at the core of my thought patterns is equally important I think.

I really hope you do ask her that. This can be a game-changer. 

 

[kag101]

@Rilles

Keep us posted =)

[Rilles]

Major Insight... 

My overthinking is probably what causes 70% of my Social Anxiety, I realized if I keep myself mindful of my own negative thoughts and how false they are I feel much calmer in social situations. 

"Oh what are they thinking about me"

"Oh wait, thats just a thought, let it go"

Its so important to look at what it is ACTUALLY happening in the present moment. Your mind can create stories out of completely insignificant situations. A random girl didnt look at you just now? Oh no, that must mean somethings wrong? No... look at what actually happened, SHE DIDNT LOOK AT YOU, THATS ALL! Rest is just stories on top. 

[Rilles]

Fear Hierarchy Goal Accomplished!

Looking at strangers in the face.

I can safely, calmly stare a stranger on the street in the face now. I realized my thoughts about what could happen were preventing me from doing that. Ive seen through the thoughts! Im free!

Now only 10 more goals to go. ??

[Moon]

On 5/15/2020 at 6:47 AM, Rilles said:

Major Insight... 

My overthinking is probably what causes 70% of my Social Anxiety, I realized if I keep myself mindful of my own negative thoughts and how false they are I feel much calmer in social situations. 

Yess exactly! That's why meditation and mindfulness is key.

On 5/20/2020 at 8:48 AM, Rilles said:

Fear Hierarchy Goal Accomplished!

Looking at strangers in the face.

I can safely, calmly stare a stranger on the street in the face now. I realized my thoughts about what could happen were preventing me from doing that. Ive seen through the thoughts! Im free!

Now only 10 more goals to go. ??

Well done!!

So, I had some social anxiety when i was like 6 years ago, and one characteristic was it would cause me to blush in front of someone which would make me more anxious and hot which would cause me to blush more lmaooo

I pretty much forget I even had it and just got it over the years from self-actualizing here and there without specifically focusing on tacking the social anxiety so much

So perhaps focusing on the root issues like overthinking for the sake of personal development rather than thinking "Oh no I have social anxiety...let me overthink about this some more" should also naturally give you freedom from this.

[Rilles]

26 minutes ago, Moon said:

Yess exactly! That's why meditation and mindfulness is key.

Exactly, I dont think I could have done this if I didnt have a couple years of experience in meditation and being able to get into a "witness" state. It has helped tremendously. 

Well done!!

So, I had some social anxiety when i was like 6 years ago, and one characteristic was it would cause me to blush in front of someone which would make me more anxious and hot which would cause me to blush more lmaooo

I pretty much forget I even had it and just got it over the years from self-actualizing here and there without specifically focusing on tacking the social anxiety so much

So perhaps focusing on the root issues like overthinking for the sake of personal development rather than thinking "Oh no I have social anxiety...let me overthink about this some more" should also naturally give you freedom from this.

 

[AriSujan]

@Rilles

The book Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers might be helpful in curbing social anxiety.