Don't Seek Enlightenment.

[Robert Leavitt]

7 hours ago, VeganAwake said:

Great story thanks for sharing... that's awesome you recognized liberation ❤

I was curious did you happen to experience a falling away of the self structure?  or was it recognized the story of "I" is an illusion?

I also noticed you're from California and 3 years older than me... I don't find that very often on here ?

 

 

Hi,

Thanks for your kind words.  I had to stop and think about it.  I guess...I realized that I was not who I thought I was.  

 

I would think things "Ya but I'm a nice guy" <-  But I wasn't.

 - Denial: Justification

 

I would think "But I deserve this" <- But I actually didn't.

- Denial: Justification (also entitlement)

 

No one could help me, because if they would tell me 'Robert...you are a liar" I would respond "I'm not like that...I never lie".

-Denial: Absolute

 

I was a huge tremendous liar, that lied just to lie.  I was constantly insecure and full of fear of what someone might think about me, but you couldn't help me because "I wasn't like that".

-Denial: Absolute

 

I had to stop lying to myself about who I was, and I also had to challenge everything I thought I "knew".  My expectations of the world, it's people and myself were completely out of line. I had to learn to "lower the bar".

-Perfectionism / Judgements of others (and myself)

 

I had to stop blaming other people for my problems, and blaming other people for how I felt.

-Denial: Blaming Others

 

I had to stop "making excuses" which is a form of denial called rationalization.

There are 13 forms of denial, at least there were 13 I learned about. I had to get out of denial, and start seeking the truth.

The truth...is what set me free.

 

 

[VeganAwake]

1 hour ago, Robert Leavitt said:

Hi,

Thanks for your kind words.  I had to stop and think about it.  I guess...I realized that I was not who I thought I was.  

 

I would think things "Ya but I'm a nice guy" <-  But I wasn't.

 - Denial: Justification

 

I would think "But I deserve this" <- But I actually didn't.

- Denial: Justification (also entitlement)

 

No one could help me, because if they would tell me 'Robert...you are a liar" I would respond "I'm not like that...I never lie".

-Denial: Absolute

 

I was a huge tremendous liar, that lied just to lie.  I was constantly insecure and full of fear of what someone might think about me, but you couldn't help me because "I wasn't like that".

-Denial: Absolute

 

I had to stop lying to myself about who I was, and I also had to challenge everything I thought I "knew".  My expectations of the world, it's people and myself were completely out of line. I had to learn to "lower the bar".

-Perfectionism / Judgements of others (and myself)

 

I had to stop blaming other people for my problems, and blaming other people for how I felt.

-Denial: Blaming Others

 

I had to stop "making excuses" which is a form of denial called rationalization.

There are 13 forms of denial, at least there were 13 I learned about. I had to get out of denial, and start seeking the truth.

The truth...is what set me free.

 

 

I really love this...thank you!

It's truly amazing what can change in our lives when truth is held as the highest ❤

Our stories of seeking truth are very similar... there were a lot of things that didn't feel good discovering about myself. 

Then when I was deployed to Okinawa Japan with the Navy about a year-and-a-half ago something crazy happened.

I started recognizing the whole story of 'me' was just a compilation of thoughts ideas beliefs and perceptions that I held/believed about myself. The 'me' character became flimsy and then it Fell Away. 

Basically my search for Truth was replaced with Being. It was recognized that Satisfyingly Being was what was ultimately longed-for the whole time.

Thank you again for being open and sharing your story my friend... have a great day ?

 

 

[Robert Leavitt]

@VeganAwake Awesome, you too.  I would love to hear more about Japan, what a great place for that to happen.  Yes the stories are very similar, and it was RIDICULOUSLY uncomfortable...it was awful.  So grateful I did it, and so grateful that you are here too.  Here's to the Journey!

[VeganAwake]

@Robert Leavitt ❤