Leaving home for 2 years

[bejapuskas]

Hello everyone,

I have a question especially for those people, who have an experience with studying abroad for longer periods of time or for those who are parents of kids.

Here is some (quite a lot of) background information, the questions are in the last paragraph. 

I live in Czechia (central Europe) and am 16 years old, turning 17 in April. In January, I applied at a national committee for a scholarship to study abroad for 2 years after my mum told me about it. Now, I am in the last round of the selection procedure, in which there are 10 or 9 participants and 8 of them will get the scholarship, so it's become kind of a more serious thing for me.

Here is my view on it: I am suffering in the school I am at now, I am doing many creative, intellectually stimulating things outside school, but the school itself is merely a place to socialize for me, I am striving to get a better quality education. https://www.uwc.org/ UWC (United World College) is an international organization that has schools all around the world. Their top values are diversity, integration of knowledge, understaning, ecology and more free, friendly communication between students and teachers, who also kind of work like mentors. All the people I've asked who have studied there have told me about their incredible experience, so I am not affraid of going into a scam. The academics at the school are also interconnected with a mandatory creative activity, research in a chosen area and epistemology and a service for the local community, such as teaching local kids English etc... (feel free to apply via your national committee if you are 15-17 years old)

From the 8 people, each of them gets to study on a different school that the national committee decides, but we can give them our prefferations. The possible destinations this year are: Norway, Italy, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Tanzania, China, India, Singapore and Armenia. My prefferation is India, because I like the subjects there the most and the school is located in a national park, so I could spend some time alone among trees which is really beneficial for my spiritual work. I wouldn't really have any issues with studying at any of the schools, but literally all of my family members except my mum are not supportive of this idea of mine. I also think it is important to say that the school are international, therefore there shouldn't be that much of a difference in terms of the quality of education, although there most likely is some. 

I really take this path seriously and I would like to execute on my visions, but I also know that I am a rather impulsive and naive person and that I might sometimes not think through things as much as needed, so I am still looking at the opposite opinions. (staying in Europe) I've had some depressive periods in the last few weeks that were about leaving everything I know, especially friends, but I think these are normal and it will pass after some time. I also resonate with the stage green European countries such as the Netherlands, Germany and the Scandinavian countries, I know because I've been studying their languages at school, but I don't know if going to a more exotic place wouldn't give me a richer experience... I am basically lost.  

Questions here:

I still don't know whether I will be accepted or not, but I believe in myself that I will... What do you think? What things would you consider doing in my situation, what prefferation would you give them and for what reasons? (you don't have to be specific, just say Asia/Europe, probably not Africa because my grandma would get a heart attack, although I love black people very much) How would you treat the possible family conflicts? Do you think that once a child leaves their home, it is likely that they won't ever come back? (move to a foreign country) Why?

Small edit: The school seems to be really high consciousness organization, I came home from the selection procedure very excited, all the people there were very open and curious, the adults were extremely friendly and warm and in one of the activities I wrote about my interests in yoga and meditation and I also spoke about the benefits of psychedelics in another activity, after which I was accepted.

Edited February 16, 2020 by bejapuskas

[Dumuzzi]

Well, it sounds good, but why don't you go straight to university instead? Not sure whether spending 2 years with this is really worth your while if you don't get a university degree at the end.

Also, you should consider the reputation of the school and diploma you are going to receive. A diploma from a developed country is worth a lot more than one from a developing one. Singapore in particular has a reputation for very high standards in education, India and Tanzania, not so much.

Also, as someone who has lived in both Singapore and India, I doubt that a young European lad would really enjoy living in India, whereas I can guarantee, that you'd have a great time in Singapore and the education you receive there will be first-rate. Then there are other things to consider, such as safety, hygiene, infrastucture, socialising, nightlife, etc...

[bejapuskas]

@Dumuzzi  Thanks for answering!

I have still 2 years left to graduating high school. The Czech diploma isn't as bad, but it is much harder than for example SAT. If I graduate from that school, I would get an IB (international baccelaureate) which can even get you a scholarship at the top schools if you get high enough score. I am not so worried about getting to a top school, I value other things more  Then I can go to a university. 

Definitely the Singaporean diploma is the most powerful in this way, but I think all the schools are very valuable, I heard that schools are looking for students in the UWC schools and are actively offering them scholarships even in the less developed countries.

The thing is, I have some negative experiences with Japanese people and I am concerned that other east Asian countries have a similar mentality (strict, cold, competetive), although I am not sure if that would make a significant impact on the teacher's behavior, as the school is international. I am just worried, since the school in Singapore is showing off with their IB scores so I have this feeling that it will be too tough there. It's not necessarily negative, but as I said, I value other things as well. 

I am interested in your experience with living there, what do you think are some of the things I am not considering?

[Average Investor]

Glad to see you still doing well with your schooling. When we talked it sounded like you were really set on exploring this education. I think it is a massive opportunity for you. But you are really going to have to decide what you think is the best for your well being. 

Are you getting enough exercise in? Eating well? Regular mediation? These should help curb some of that depression, but to be fair a lot of teens face depression these days. I did myself and you will get through it. Just make sure you take care of yourself and you have a vast amount of resources out there to help you. 

You can totally come back if you decide to later. Just make sure you really get control over what you would study etc. Really spend the time in these next few years exploring your options. But maybe you have decided stuff to major in? 

 

[bejapuskas]

@Average Investor  Thank you buddy  It is just so weird you know, I don't know if I can imagine what it means for me  (I can't)

 

[28 cm unbuffed]

Leaving home to "find yourself" is really important part for your journey, if not the most important. By staying alone and not getting influenced by others people views about the world will for sure help you to clear your mind and organise your thoughts. And becoming independent and not depending on anyone - that's imo the best thing, you become the master of your own world and life. And that's the most fucking thing in the world. 

[bejapuskas]

@28 cm unbuffed  Hey! Thank you for this. 

It's not so hard for me to ignore others, as I know that the same people who give me career advice are burned out at the same time. Also the people who advice me not to go study abroad so early in life have never studied there themselves, while everyone who has is highly supportive.

But also I know that I am „a young European lad“ and might still be a bit naive about the world, I mean, I am pretty sure I am hahahaha. For example, I thought I would put Singapore as my #1 priority and it would probably even be easier to get there, as half of the people want to go to study in India, but I am just scared that it would end the same way as my experience with learning Japanese. (I fucking hate formalities, although not all Japanese are like that and I still love them as people)

The thing is, the „dumb“ decisions later turn out to be the most intelligent ones, as I get the most wisdom out of them, but also I don't know when to stop being dumb  I think I still don't know whether you have to live through something *yourself* in order to understand it. Listening to others advice, be it good or bad, it just doesn't work for me. I also hope that my family won't be so angry/sad, as it might seem as if I didn't care about them sometimes, when I talk about going to the other side of the world.

Life is hilarious, period.

[Elisabeth]

India where? 

You might want to find out about the specific area and city you would be going to. 

I have no idea how "formal" India is in comparison to the other Asian countries, could be formal as well. 

Do you have a chance to talk with someone who knows the schools? Maybe you could get an impression of the differences from them. 

[bejapuskas]

@Elisabeth  Hey  

160 km away from Mumbai... I don't know what that means other than chaos.

I know quite a few Indians and they seem „alright“ to me, I never felt like they were too closed off to me or anything, they actually motivated me to go visit their country, although they all live more closer to the Himalayas and Nepal in the north.

I don't know anyone who knows the Asian schools unfortunately... I am doing some more research now.

[bejapuskas]

I've noticed that I get really excited about ideas I know nothing about and I get frightened and skeptical about ideas that are similar to the opinion of the majority of people I know. I don't know how to make sense of this. I am really attracted by the unknown, it's like a magnet. As Leo said in his last video, going through unimaginable experiences. What I often do is talk to extraordinary people and analyze their experiences very attentively, it's as if I am living their lives, it's just so fascinating. I am still very open to the opinions here but it is sometimes very emotionally challenging. Anyone else experiencing this?

[bejapuskas]

But I've also had my foot broken for the last week and I don't mind needing help all the time. I mean, acknowledging the fact that I am not able to do everything by myself, older people letting me sit instead of them in the bus, someone having to hold the door for me etc... And it genuinely feels good to be kind of vulnerable and protected in this way and it is a new feeling for me.

[bejapuskas]

I am going to India in the end. I was the 4th best of the 8 candidates, so my choice was slightly limited and Singapore is too expensive for my family anyways... I am happy for India though, looking forward to going there

[flowboy]

Congratulations!

I had a "just do it" feeling when I read these posts...good to see you've made a decision.

Personally I've been a massive overanalyzer when it comes to these decisions. Ironically, months of overanalyzing have often still resulted in decisions on studies that I wanted out of only a few months later.

So now I try to go with the gut, heart, intuition, all that.

I recognize feeling/identifying as naive. I think that is a good thing. I might be projecting, but what I think we have in common is being naturally wary of groupthink. Not assimilating the popular beliefs automatically, which enables us to keep a fresh view and think out of the box and all that.

To box thinkers, that's going to come off as naive or even dumb sometimes. Nothing to be done about that.

Except see for yourself. Which is what you're going to do! Awesome!

 

On 17-2-2020 at 2:40 PM, bejapuskas said:

I've noticed that I get really excited about ideas I know nothing about and I get frightened and skeptical about ideas that are similar to the opinion of the majority of people I know. I don't know how to make sense of this.

Is this you? https://www.belbin.com/about/team-role-spotlight-plant/

[bejapuskas]

14 hours ago, flowboy said:

Is this you? https://www.belbin.com/about/team-role-spotlight-plant/

Yes, definitely. Once we were at a birthday party and there was a game in which we had to use a dozen of plastic strokes to fill a cup with water, while standing 2 meters away from it. Everyone tried to build a pipe, but I built a rope and pulled the cope closer to me and then spilled the water directly from the bottle. That's the way I think. I recognize that when I am the most experienced in a team and the team is listening to my ideas, it can be very beneficial, but not so much in other scenarios  

@flowboy  What were the decisions you applied to just do it mindset to? What were the results maybe a few moths/years after? Are you surprised looking back? 

[flowboy]

9 hours ago, bejapuskas said:

What were the decisions you applied to just do it mindset to? What were the results maybe a few moths/years after? Are you surprised looking back? 

@bejapuskas  Well one example would be, I took a really expensive workshop last year (Primal childhood deconditioning intensive). I knew it was going to be very hard work physically and emotionally. I did not believe that I needed it. I thought the concept was interesting, and I would do it 'someday'.

But there were several friends/connections whom I trusted, who told me how it was the best thing they ever did for themselves.

And right then, I decided to go with trusted friends' recommendations over my own rationalizations. I felt scared and not ready, but decided that advice from trusted people with experience should weigh heavier than imaginations from me, having not experienced it. That, combined with Leo's video on how to discern intuitions, helped my decision making a lot.

The workshop uncovered and "burned" many self esteem issues that I wasn't even aware I had. Among many benefits, I have better access to self-love now, and it's changing the course of my life radically. So it was a good decision. Even though I had thought that I should wait.

 

Currently I'm in the middle of moving to Amsterdam. I made the decision very quickly (within 2 days and a sleepless night), cried through all my resistance and attachments to comfort, and now, a few days later, I'm excited and in the planning stages.

I suppose that would be the best example of a "just do it" mindset. But since it's going on right now, it's too early to say what the results are.

I've struggled a lot and finally built a life here that works. I have structure, routine, a good job, a lot of free time, a purpose, the right friends, a non-messy apartment (finally), everything is running like a well oiled machine after years of struggling with chaos.

So I'm reluctant to give that up out of investment bias.

But some events transpired that made it obvious that I just live here because I live here.

There are places with better opportunities and culture for the sort of goals that I have, and I'm not taking advantage of that because of investment bias and inertia.

It took a lover leaving and a firm talking to by a wise friend to shake me enough to see it.

Again, I'm using the same process to make a decision:

1. people whom I love and trust very much and are further along on the path that I want say that it is good
2. It feels like the choice that is closer to evolution versus stagnation. If it feels like a vote for development instead of comfort, I equate that with my intuiting telling me it's right.
3. I'm scared and I don't want to, but that's irrelevant now because of the above points.

[bejapuskas]

@flowboy  Thank you so much for sharing your story, sounds super exciting. Maybe we can meet on day in Amsterdam, planning to go to the Netherlands for Ayahuasca  

[Calcifer]

@bejapuskas Wow this is really fascinating

Could you please talk a bit more how this UWC works?

Im really curious about this. I will close highschool this year and this might be a really awesome thing to consider

What are your top reasos why you want to do this? Why does really fascinate you about this trip?

And also what are some things that seem strange or you are uncertain about at this moment?

Thanks for sharing !

 

[Forestluv]

To me, this seems like a great opportunity for some major growth and expansion. And it seems aligned with your mindset (e.g. highly integrative). Plus, you were ranked #4, which indicates you are resonating on their side of things. . . And IB degrees can carry a lot of weight. I work at a liberal arts uni in the states - each year, a few students with IB degrees enroll and they are always special students to me. 

In regards to family support. . . parents will often show resistance when their child wants to study abroad - for many reasons. They may miss their child, they may be concerned about their security, they may be concerned about it being a nontraditional path, concerns about future career, jealosy that they don't have this opportunity etc. . . . The majority of our students that study abroad have a positive experience and if they stay in touch and communicate this with their family, the family comes around to support them - especially parents. Deep down, parents want the best for their child and if they see their child doing well they generally come to support that. 

[bejapuskas]

@Calcifer  Hello! I am so glad it helped. This really is a great opportunity for me, we would literally have to sell our family house in order to pay for that school. 

UWC is a pretty high consciousness organization, it was founded by Kurt Hahn after the world wars in order to connect people from all over the world with the intention to prevent war. You can watch this documentary to get a better idea about their values  

Also check their international website or your national committee's website to gather more information, as the selection procedure might be different from country to country. 

The reasons I do this are because I want to integrate my education with my extracurriculars, which is very troublesome here, as I have so little time if I want to do that. I spent the last few years doing the things I love and doing them well which really helped me to get in, as I was able to speak and act from experience - scout leader, art, leadership seminars, advanced classes, teaching Czech as a foreign language to immigrants, learning languages etc... Also the relationships with the teachers and other students there are significantly warmer and more open, which really resonates with me. Their education system is much more well rounded and focused on practical skills and work experience. There are just so many good reasons for anyone to do this. 

I recently told my grandma that I will be leaving, she is emotionally fucked, as well as her close family like her son (my uncle) and his wife (my aunt) etc... They are generally supportive but also very concerned, as I didn't end up going to Europe. (which would be much less of an adventure in my opinion, although still amazing)

In order to get the scholarship I had to send them to essays with the topics You cant choose your family and Who am I? which were amazing. I think they really enjoyed my contemplative and even spiritual nature. The other rounds were mostly interviews and group activities, but for example in Brazil, they do a living experience, like a camp. 

Send me a DM for any info  

@Serotoninluv  Thank you so much, it's really great to hear that from a good friend who also happens to be a teacher.

Their mission really resonates with me and it was obvious from their facial expressions that they were enjoying getting to meet me, the people who were ranked above me were some hardcore fuckers, one of the people there even had news and internet paragraphs written about him and he wasn't even #1. I don't feel like an outsider there by any means but even going through the selection is a huge growth experience.

The thing with IB is good to hear, gotta tell my family so that they are less scared. Everybody is always asking me about the education and the certificate I will get on the school. It feels so good that I will finally be able to choose what I want to study, I never got to do that here.

My mum is very open and equally adventurous (may be defined as thoughtless or stubborn) as me, plus many of her colleagues had their children on UWC so she heard tons of positive feedback from them. Some of the kids get admitted to top schools before even finishing. My dad is a bit nervous and sad, but also very supportive. It's a bit harder with the extended family, but I will have 4 months of holidays so that's very nice and I will be able to fly home on a regular basis.

[lostmedstudent]

hello! 

i have heard of similar international university programs. One i heard is called minerva and i heard it from a popular youtuber (unjaded jade) 

here is a video where she talks about it 

 

good luck !!