Talking openly with employer?

[TheExplorer]

Hello everyone,

 

I would like some advice in regards to communication with my employer.

I’m in Germany and have been working with my GP (amazing woman) to be on sick leave since beginning of December .. to give me the space and time I need to work through some serious trauma and heal.

This has been a great decision, making a lot of progress right now and finding tons of stuff that is helping me. Just can’t do that while trapped in the 9to5 ratrace. Was also just failing and my body was shutting down after going right back to work after a 14day dieta in Peru. I do feel so much better in the past weeks.

Now with my employer the communication about this has been very “minimal”. The company certainly has a lot of issues and they contributed to my depression as well. However I’m also grateful for what they’ve done and provided for me. Right now the health insurance is paying my salary, but they still pay for some not-insignificant benefits.

Yesterday I drank some Aya and it came to me that it could be really beneficial writing one of the bosses an email, asking for a meeting in-person and be really clear and open about what is happening.

I guess the risk here is exposing myself and it could backfire somewhat if they’re not understanding. I’m not 100% clear yet what they could actually do to me though. As I really do fight some depression, and am really sick. So far I communicated that my doc thinks its depression and that I’m pretty clueless and want to take time though and figure it out.

Not sure in how far they buy this story and my last call with HR could have been better probably.

 

Somehow I feel most of my fears wont happen and I can only learn and grow from this. Perhaps make this company a better place and their impact on the whole more positive. I do feel people there care for me.

Any thoughts on this really appreciated.

 

Thank you

-Explorer

Edited February 16, 2020 by TheExplorer

[zenjen]

I’m just curious, do you really enjoy this job that you have? What if you could find work that could uplift you out of depression instead of work you have to run from?

Seems like there’s a deeper issue here.

Honestly your employer is probably just concerned for when you will be able to come back and work. If you haven’t given them any indication of the amount of time you will need then they will probably be getting antsy with the idea of keeping you around, no matter how much they like you.

[Average Investor]

It really depends on the employer. I have had a boss that was laughing and sharing about someones mental illness to others. Not trying to discourage you just saying that some people really don't care. Possibly instead of coming to them and saying "I have depression" just make a list of things that are effecting you and see if you can come to a solution with them on how to solve them. That is probably one of the better ways to phrase it. I think that you should especially if you plan to continue working there for a extended amount of time. 

[Meetjoeblack]

On 16/02/2020 at 5:31 PM, Average Investor said:

It really depends on the employer. I have had a boss that was laughing and sharing about someones mental illness to others. Not trying to discourage you just saying that some people really don't care. Possibly instead of coming to them and saying "I have depression" just make a list of things that are effecting you and see if you can come to a solution with them on how to solve them. That is probably one of the better ways to phrase it. I think that you should especially if you plan to continue working there for a extended amount of time. 

+1

Nobody cares. Read 48 laws of power by Robert Green. 

Keep that stuff close to your vest. Say less. Not more. It's nobody's business furthermore, you are giving reasons to not promote you or recognize your talents. You are best off not doing so and handling your stuff. If you must disclose, do so at your own peril. If you have to, exercise discretion, and as a last resort. Your employer and or boss isn't a friend. Never get it twisted. 

[Average Investor]

8 minutes ago, Meetjoeblack said:

Read 48 laws of power by Robert Green

Good book if applied correctly. I have read this myself haha. Thank you. 

[flowboy]

I was in a regular remote stand-up meeting with our customer recently when one of their employees came out and said that he had been suffering from depression.

I was surprised to encounter this level of honesty, depth and vulnerability in a routine business call. I felt some fear for him.

They asked him what they could do to support him. He said, surprisingly, he wanted more work assigned to him, so he could feel more useful.

The managers decided to make him take 1.5 week vacation first, to recover, and then they promised to take better care to assign him good work.

 

Now, he seems way happier and even laughs sometimes during meetings.