Judging Thoughts Unconsciously

[UnconsciousHuman]

The content of my thoughts is mostly "judgment about my thoughts" I get lost in this. It stems from deep-rooted judgementalism and this is a very big obstacle for my awareness/observation/focus.

I cannot focus on anything, I always end up conceptualizing what I'm focusing on and I end up not knowing what it is I'm focusing on. This has left me feeling somewhat out of touch with reality.

This meta-thinking I'm always doing is evaluating the value of each thought. This stems from a deep and crippling self-consciousness. In other words, this is self-judgment as a result of trying to identify what's wrong with me and why I'm not valued.

I find it difficult to be in 1 steam of thought rather I'm always in multiple. I have no focus. 

What is happening here? I can't seem to develop my awareness because of my getting lost in thoughts all the time. I can't seem to see in realtime why I'm thinking the thoughts but I can always after the fact conceptualize my thoughts and why they were there. 

I should also mention I have been very lonely (Lack Of Bonding) for the past 6 months since I moved out of my parents' and Im starting to feel like Im losing touch with reality.

Please tell me what the problem is and what I should do about it.

 

Edited February 15, 2020 by UnconsciousHuman

[Ero]

Start practicing self - love and acceptance of whatever arises. This is not a problem with the content of the thoughts, but with the orientation of your consciousness. Don't go on creating stories about why that is, because they'll be victimising towards yourself, because that's just the way your consciousness currently is. Love it. Allow it to flow through it. No way around it. 

[VeganAwake]

Yeah definitely don't beat yourself up over this... it's completely normal and it's good that you recognize your judgments..❤ this is all just conditioning.

Without our conditioned judgments on things, everything is neutral. There are no real good or bad's, should or shouldn't's. 

What happens is we place an overlay on top of reality. Without this overlay everything is just naturally flowing perfectly. Once we lay down this overlay, things that help the 'ME' character are labeled as good and things that do not are labeled as bad.

If I think meditation and eating white rice are good, people that meditate and eat white rice are doing the right thing, if not they're doing the wrong.

We think our perceptions are important but things are just happening whether or not we're sitting back judging them.

Without our perception on life, things are just flowing perfectly. Nothing needs to change or be done. ?