Mention of flirtation in Leo's last video

[Parththakkar12]

Leo said 'flirting is implicit'. I feel this is a cop out to avoid having clear communication about sex/turn-ons and be vulnerable about it. What do you think?

Also, say I go and rape someone and then spring this 'Oh I thought that consent was implicit! It was so much fun for me that I wasn't paying attention to you. Sorry, too bad' would that be okay? It's not supposed to be clear, right?

Edited February 10, 2020 by Parththakkar12

[Inliytened1]

I think it was accurate, having been in many relationships over the years.  

Us men are much more explicit then implicit.  We want things spelled out to us and we are extremely literal.   

A lot of times i find myself saying to my wife "but you said such and such" and she says "well that's not what i meant"  or something along those lines lol.   So you have to get better at this part of your thinking in order to get better at understanding a woman's perspective.  And thats the key - being able to jump between perspectives and going meta. 

Women on the other hand are much more intuitive.  They read between the lines of what the guy is saying.   They sense body language,  the can sense the guys level of confidence and goodness etc.  Not that they can't be wrong, hehe.  Happens all the time.  But the point is they go with what they feel intuitively more than from the words that they hear coming from the guy.  Dont get me wrong - explicit still plays a role.  If you come up to her and say something completely stupid it probably will backfire on you pretty quick.  

[Forestluv]

8 hours ago, Parththakkar12 said:

Leo said 'flirting is implicit'. I feel this is a cop out to avoid having clear communication about sex/turn-ons and be vulnerable about it. What do you think?

Also, say I go and rape someone and then spring this 'Oh I thought that consent was implicit! It was so much fun for me that I wasn't paying attention to you. Sorry, too bad' would that be okay? It's not supposed to be clear, right?

To me, this seems to be an explicit analysis of implicit. Quite often there is desire to control the internal narrative and resistance to letting go and exploring implicit phenomena. Ime, one of my strongest resistances was harm anxiety. Letting go of controlling explicit narratives in my mind was really uncomfortable and one of the hardest things to get over was "If I let go of the narrative, then who knows what might happen. I could harm someone without even knowing it!!". . . This is just a strategy to maintain control of the mental narrative. 

In the sentence "'Oh I thought that consent was implicit! It was so much fun for me that I wasn't paying attention to you."

Here, the mind creates a scenario in which it is so completely immersed in itself. This is a self-centered contraction and the opposite direction of becoming aware of implicit. Here, the self-centered filter that is constantly calculating toward self-centered desires is reduced and a greater non-calculating awareness of Now is occurring. Not an analysis like "She just twirled her hair, that means XYZ and I should now ABC". Rather, there is an intuitive resonance that is transpersonal. It's not "me" vs. "her". There is now a shared resonance. Getting on this frequency is like a "flow state". Since the mind and body is not hyper-interpreting toward a self outcome, there is a very small chance of misinterpreting the essence of what's happening like you described above. . . It would be like a musician playing with the other band members. All the other band members stop playing, yet this guy keeps playing, oblivious to the fact that he is the only one playing. Afterwards he thinks "We noone explicity said to stop playing. How was I supposed to know?". . . .

At a low conscious level, a guy may be the only one "playing" and interpret her actions as playing too. For example, she may mention "I had a dream of being overpowered during sex last night and kinda liked it". With a low conscious self-centered filter, the mind may think "Ah ha. She wants me to overpower her sexually tonight". This is a very limited interpretive / calculating filter that will limit awareness of various implicit cues. At this level of consciousness, it's important to get clear explicit consent. Perhaps 98% of men would be in this category. .  Yet at a higher conscious level, the orientation is not hyper self calculating and greater awareness of "our" dynamics appear and there is an intuitive flow state that is naturally aligned with nonspoken cues and energetics - without interpretation and calculation. Within this flow state, the two of you are on the same intuitive / connection frequency. This implicit nonverbal frequency can be much stronger than a verbal explicit frequency - yet it can a lot of practice and development to reach this intuitive flow frequency. It seems different people have different abilities - some minds seem to immersed in literal, explicit explanations that they have a very difficult time recognizing and flowing intuitively. 

[Leo Gura]

15 hours ago, Parththakkar12 said:

Also, say I go and rape someone and then spring this 'Oh I thought that consent was implicit! It was so much fun for me that I wasn't paying attention to you. Sorry, too bad' would that be okay? It's not supposed to be clear, right?

It can be clear without being explicit.

Implicit does not mean to act like a selfish ass without taking into account her desire and agenda.

It's very clear if a women is interested in having sex with you. It doesn't need to be spelled out.

If you want to be a devil, you will always find ways of justifying it to yourself.

[Parththakkar12]

8 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

It can be clear without being explicit.

Implicit does not mean to act like a selfish ass without taking into account her desire and agenda.

It's very clear if a women is interested in having sex with you. It doesn't need to be spelled out.

If you want to be a devil, you will always find ways of justifying it to yourself.

Whenever people talk about 'implicit social assumptions' it's been my experience that those assumptions are self-biased. For example, I say 'You should go and work out more' you nod your head, I may have an implicit assumption that you agree with me, when that may not be the case! So the next time if I ask you 'Hey did you start working out' and get angry with you for not meeting my expectation of you, I'm gonna say that it was implicitly assumed that you agree! Here, as far as I can see, the issue is unclarity and haziness around what exactly is going on. The solution would be to clarify things so that communication is clearer!

I get that there are inexplicable energetic dynamics in flirting. But, I disagree that women are more intuitive. Being more expressive with your emotions/getting more carried away with emotions isn't being intuitive! There's very few people who actually follow their intuition and act according to it. Doing this right would require both sides to be tuned into the dynamics AND respond accordingly!

If women really were more intuitive, they'd teach their sons to be more intuitive, therefore men would be more intuitive. By now, we'd be living in an intuitive conscious utopia if that were the case!

Edited February 11, 2020 by Parththakkar12

[Leo Gura]

25 minutes ago, Parththakkar12 said:

If women really were more intuitive, they'd teach their sons to be more intuitive

You're not getting it. Women's brains are genetically hardwired to be more intuitive.

The male brain is less integrated and holistic than a female brain. The male brain is more autistic and left-hemisphere dominant while the female brain is more balanced, giving her access to more intuitive capacity of the right-hemisphere.

Of course there are exceptions. I'm speaking generally.

This is one of reasons why witches are classically women. Women are not only more intuitive, they often have psychic abilities which is why women are more interested in stuff like astrology and psychic stuff. Of course not all women have psychic abilities, but I think a larger percentage of them do than men.

This is not about teaching it to their sons.

[Parththakkar12]

8 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

You're not getting it. Women's brains are genetically hardwired to be more intuitive.

The male brain is less integrated and holistic than a female brain. The male brain is more autistic and left-hemisphere dominant while the female brain is more balanced, giving her access to more intuitive capacity of the right-hemisphere.

Of course there are exceptions. I'm speaking generally.

This is one of reasons why witches are classically women. Women are not only more intuitive, they often have psychic abilities which is why women are more interested in stuff like astrology and psychic stuff. Of course not all women have psychic abilities, but I think a larger percentage of them do than men.

This is not about teaching it to their sons.

Ah okay got it. Different context.

 

[Derek White]

28 minutes ago, Parththakkar12 said:

Whenever people talk about 'implicit social assumptions' it's been my experience that those assumptions are self-biased.

Especially when people start judging others for their horoscopes, vibrations, auras, energies, etc. Those judgments can hide deeper, ugly subconscious biases, usually but not always.

You gotta be careful about whether you’re being intuitive or being prejudiced. That’s why a balance between left and right is usually important, at least in the beginning.

The duality between implicit and explicit collapses when one realizes logic it self is implicit. You implicitly know how to use logic. Intuition is such a powerful thing, I just want to get more and more in touch with it.

@Leo Gura I think this was one of your best episode till date. This is such an important topic and you covered it brilliantly. Coincidentally I was just thinking about it on the same day as well. Keep up the good work and don’t forget to put this one on your best video’s list.

[Parththakkar12]

This may or may not have anything to do with what Leo is saying. But it's in the same general topic.

I'm thinking about why are emotions associated with femininity, cuz men have emotions too! What I'm seeing though, is that the patriarchy makes an enemy of emotions in general. The reason for this is that the patriarchy values these things the most : productivity and child-rearing. Up until this point, emotions have only gotten in the way of efficiency! Said 'masculinity' and 'femininity' are actually patriarchially defined and have nothing to do with the polarity of masculine and feminine energy.

There is an element of hardwiring and evolution, cuz if men embody the masculine and women embody the feminine, masculine energy is more forward-moving and goal oriented whereas feminine energy is more flowy, receptive, non-linearly directed. But, there's also the element of patriarchial socialization which exacerbates the dysfunctional aspects of it.