I'm to serious... how to stop that?

[Dino D]

This should be a practical question, ask for help... please dont go super deep into the nature of god, infinity, no self... only if you really have to...

 

Dont be so serious is one of the best advices that i got here... it helped... i would like to implement it even more...

 

So, like everyone i have problems, worries, people disappoint me and so on... when that happends i take it very often very serious, i take it to my heart, i get upset, serious, angry and so on... I notice that other people dont bother with those things... dont get me wrong, im ,,more advanced then most" im not worrying, i'm  being present and so on... however some people are better in not giving a fuxk... they carear isnt great, my is very good, i have a very responsible job, an  ,,important job" i have to work and be responsible, i have to put effort in it... that makes me serious and i also implement that attitude in other parts of life, where i shouldnt be serious at all... if Im not serious and commited, I fail, make mistakes...

That makes me to worry or to be angry if it does not go well, to attack, to solve or fix it and so on... that makes me serious, life is serious, it has consequences

So how to not be so serious? How not to worry?

My worry often comes because i have a serious, responsible attitude, that wants to control and to have a righteous outcome of life...

Edited February 5, 2020 by Dino D
Type fail

[Recursoinominado]

Well, if by serious you mean focused, "all in" in a particular problem to solve it, this can be a pretty good characteristic.

 

If by serious you mean neurotic, narrow-minded, overreacting, yeah# you have work to do. 

I usually assess people's level of spiritual development by their level of neurosis, specially when dealing with challenge. Most people are very low on that  scale, losing their shit over pathetic stuff all the time. Most can hide their neurosis very well, even some apparently poised stoic "alphas", if you look closely, they are trying hard to hide their neurosis which manifests in their over controlling behavior (trying to dominate everyone around in a particular set of behavior so they can keep the illusion that they have all in control).

Here are some things you have to realize to heal of neurosis:

The best way to deal with problems is always to focus on solutions and forget all else. Blame, complain, worry, anxiety, overthinking are not only useless but they lessen your ability to find solutions. A calm mind is a clear mind. Read that again.

The best way to deal with chaos is to deal with one thing at time, in a moment to moment basis, cultivate presence, it is a superpower.

Realize that the present moment is all that is. What is in front of you happening right now is all that is, all else is just imagination, figures in your mind, like a television screen passing random stuff all the time, just turn your attention away from it and focus on what's actually happening right now (see Leo's video about Actuality). Ground yourself in the present moment and forget all else, this is scarier that it seems but it is the only option you have.

Have a big picture understanding of reality, see that it is all a play, God is playing with itself all the time, it is not serious at all but you are free to take it serious all you want and will have a big laugh when you wake up from this illusion.

"Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun."

-Alan Watts

Psychedelics are GREAT to take you out of this illusion and really have some perspective on things and realize it's all a play.

Dmt is particularly good for me to realize this.

 

 

[fridjonk]

It's very simple. 

You just do it 

[Leo Gura]

Meow

[bazera]

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/48457530-the-joy-of-not-thinking

Check out this book, it's really short. It will answer your question.

[Andrewww]

Find what prevents you from relaxing. Seriousness often means being constricted. Go deep in the self questioning.

Look in the mirror and do a lion roar at yourself a couple times.

[mandyjw]

Learn something new that's difficult for you, that you have zero experience or natural talent in, and use it as a practice of self love and not judging yourself. 

Also make a list of things you enjoy doing just for fun, and do one everyday. 

[Sempiternity]

I'm being completely serious with this suggestion: Become a clown. I was a clown many years ago. It was one of the most liberating freeing things I had ever done. When you have that makeup and clothes on, it give you permission to be silly. The public allows you to be silly, to make a fool of yourself, because that's what clowns do. They love it. Nothing is serious, because everything is a joke. You are free from caring what others think. You're free from trying to look good or look cool. You stop taking yourself so serious. Then you come to realize that the only thing keeping you from being that way all the time was a thin layer of makeup and some silly clothes. You then realize you can be that way all the time. 

[Commodent]

This is also something I have struggled with personally, and I just had a major insight about this that I wanted to share.

The solution is simply to deal with the fear underlying it. What is it about life that is so serious? And what is it about this thing that makes it so serious? What you will find is that "seriousness" is never rooted in joy, but rather in the fearful anticipation of some future event. If you investigate even more deeply you will realize that this thing which you considered so serious is not really serious at all. Ultimately, nothing is inherently serious. Death is not serious, and neither is life. Visualize what it is that is so serious, and lean into it. Become comfortable with it.

And note that there is a big difference between excellence/professionalism vs. seriousness. The former is energizing whereas the latter is deadening.

[Nahm]

20 hours ago, Dino D said:

So, like everyone i have problems, worries, people disappoint me and so on...

Get tight on your inspections. This is a false assumption. You have never once experienced what anyone is thinking. Upon inspection and realization of this, much overthinking is reduced, much freedom in terms of feeling & living in joy is ‘gained’ (revealed to be actual). Your statement subtly mentally ‘places’ problems, worries, disappointment, etc, in “an outside world”, but you are creating them, and you can inspect and see through them, as they are perspectives. Every time such a perspective arises, feeling tells you this. Listen to feeling, and be willing to let the thought / perspective go. 

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when that happends i take it very often very serious, i take it to my heart, i get upset, serious, angry and so on... I notice that other people dont bother with those things... dont get me wrong, im ,,more advanced then most" im not worrying, i'm  being present and so on... however some people are better in not giving a fuxk... they carear isnt great, my is very good, i have a very responsible job, an  ,,important job" i have to work and be responsible, i have to put effort in it... that makes me serious and i also implement that attitude in other parts of life, where i shouldnt be serious at all... if Im not serious and commited, I fail, make mistakes...

Seriousness was learned from interpreting and identifying with the suffering, deflection, and projection of others, as “serious”. Write about feelings on paper. Trace it back. Perhaps you were raised in a ‘serious people environment’, and you currently still believe serious = reality, rather than seeing that it is only a perspective they were choosing from a place of fear, you are choosing also. Take time each day to express on paper in sincerity, this helps dissolve seriousness.  

It can also be extremely effective to “be what you are trying to inspect”, as in.... spend a few minutes each day trying to be as serious as you can. It tends to reveal the facade of it, sort of by poking fun at yourself, ‘charactering yourself’, resulting in hilarity breakthroughs. Keep a straight face, and “be super serious”. You’ll find, if you’re already pretending to be serious, but don’t realize you’re pretending...pretending on purpose can uproot / reveal it. 

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That makes me to worry or to be angry if it does not go well, to attack, to solve or fix it and so on... that makes me serious, life is serious, it has consequences

Responsibility..... Reframe this as your own perspective rather than “of the world”....response-ability.  Be aware of the almost-light-speed of reactionary thinking, by observing it. Begin slowing down, taking a few seconds, and then respond. Your ability to create response will go through the roof.  Then, if you are being serious, you’ll be well aware you’re choosing to...and because it doesn’t feel sincere, you won’t anymore. 

The “trick” of realizing you are the creator of your reality, is not so much to begin doing it, but to scrutinize in this manor and inspect, realizing that you already are. Watch out for write off’s like “subconscious’. Whatever you think that might be, inspect it, become conscious of it. 

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So how to not be so serious? How not to worry?

My worry often comes because i have a serious, responsible attitude, that wants to control and to have a righteous outcome of life...

Allow awareness of the immense effort that attitude requires, but more importantly, simply notice it does not feel good, and has never resonated with you. 

Another “practice”, have someone slap you across the face a few times. Might sound ridiculous. Might be ridiculous. That’s why it works though.

[Forestluv]

Ime, it's hard to overcome over-seriousness when I take it seriously. . . 

One thing I've found helpful is to give myself time and space to not be serious. It's been helpful to have a few friends that are naturally playful, silly and laugh a lot (including themselves). Things like playing miniature golf or watching Rick and Morty are a good environment to practice being spontaneous, playful, silly and laughter.

 

[DivineSoda]

Take off your shoes.