Losing Virginity To A Hooker/escort

[dboyle]

What are people's opinion on this?

I am currently a 21 year old male, who has never ever even kissed a girl let alone became close enough to actually have sex with one.  

At this point, all I want to do is just lose my virginity to someone, as I don't think I am quite ready for a girlfriend yet as I am currently just trying to focus on myself and my own life and goals. 

But I would like to experience what sex is like, and can't see myself having sex with a girl I know (as I don't know any girls that would ever have sex with me), and I don't have the skills currently to go out and pickup girls.

So yeah... do you think I should go through with it and just get an escort for the night and fulfil this part of me?

[Corte]

No, because I don't think this will solve your problem. Like at all. Ask yourself, and be honest with yourself, why do you want to lose your virginity? Because you don't feel like a man since you're 21 and never touched a woman? A virgin at 21 is not a failure, but a treasure. You said you are only focusing on yourself and your goals. Saving yourself for the right time will fulfill you way more than having a night with an escort, just my opinion. 

[dboyle]

5 minutes ago, Corte said:

No, because I don't think this will solve your problem. Like at all. Ask yourself, and be honest with yourself, why do you want to lose your virginity? Because you don't feel like a man since you're 21 and never touched a woman? A virgin at 21 is not a failure, but a treasure. You said you are only focusing on yourself and your goals. Saving yourself for the right time will fulfill you way more than having a night with an escort, just my opinion. 

I want to lose it so I can actually finally feel what sex is like, and to 'get the monkey off my back', so to speak. 

I'm also starting College after summer, so I think it would be a good idea to lose my virginity before I get to college, so that I can at least have SOME experience under my belt before getting involved with a girl (who btw, probably has lost her virginity and has multiple partners before anyway).

I just really feel left out in this particular aspect in my life. Its as if everyone around me is getting lucky, and I honestly believe I need to catch up before any more time is wasted (as I am already 21). 

[Natasha]

@dboyle You want to share this gift with someone you love and who loves you. Escort girls would only love your money.

Edited June 15, 2016 by Natasha

[dboyle]

I'm a looooooooooong way off from that stage though. 

(plus, since it would be my first time I'd probably ejaculate within 30 seconds. Hardly a gift)

[CA19]

If this an authentic desire then yes,go for it,you have nothing to lose (just take your precautions).If you're doing this because you think less of yourself because you're a virgin or peer pressure,then fix your self-image first,because going to a hooker won't fix these internal problems.

[dboyle]

8 minutes ago, Natasha said:

@dboyle You want to share this gift with someone you love and who loves you. Escort girls would only love your money.

But I think I would be fine with them just doing it for my money, as I feel there would be no judgment on whatever performance i show up with. 

If I were to go to college as a virgin at 21, there'll be a ton of judgement, plus a reputation as being bad in bed, then I'll be even more in a messed up situation for the duration of my stay there. 

Then there's the possibility of me meeting a girl I realllyyy like and likes me back. Then when we eventually go to have sex, she'll likely be disappointed and then leave and tell all her girlfriends how bad I was. Again, I'll be in a messed up situation. 

[Natasha]

@dboyle Get a stable girlfriend who is a virgin herself, so you guys can explore sex together. If she's a kind, mature person, she won't judge.

 

[Pallero]

I understand that you feel left out. Studies show that most young people believe that they are less experienced than their peers when in fact they are not. The pressure to lose your virginity might be huge, as it is a question of status. Your attitude towards sex changes after you start having it, and when you fall in love and start a relationship. 

There's nothing wrong with experience, but I myself was pressured into losing my virginity to "get it over with", and to this day I get sad thinking about it. It wasn't a nice experience.

Wait till you meet somebody special and fall in love. It's unlikely that she will have a lot of experience if she's the same age as you. A kind woman will not judge but appreciate your virginity.

I know it's scary. It's easy to lose your virginity to an escort, because you are paying her, and therefore she will not criticize or say no. (By the way, an escort will probably have a lot of experience.) But believe me when I say that when you are losing your virginity (or having sex in general), you want to do it with somebody who genuinely cares about you.

[Marks199]

Dude just relax and try to find a decent girl, look at me never had a girl and already have generalized anxiety in my life how many inhabitants does your hometown has? My has like 45 000. and people are sucked in with the internet.

[Nathalie]

@dboyle As I read your message and al the posts above, I asked myself if it isn't possible to find a sensitive escort? They are also human arent they? Perhaps it's possible to include what you really want (maybe also learn something?) in your "agreement" and so you could make an enjoyable experience with a woman even if you pay for the time you spend with another.. Perhaps it's stupid, but we all pay for a lot of different services and expect good results nothing to be ashamed about, right?

 

[Toby]

Have you even taken a look on what women actually work as a hooker/escort? How do you sense them energetically? How would it feel to pay them for sex? Beautiful? Good? Or bad and ugly?

[Nathalie]

@Toby Did you? Is it so?

[J. M. Wigglesworth]

It seems you want both the chance to see what the experience of sex is like and also on a more unconscious level so you won't get disapproval from girls who are more experienced then yourself or even locker room talk.

You're probably pretty open minded(being on this forum and all) which is why you're willing to consider using a hooker without shame or disappointment in yourself but you're still holding back. Yet you came here to  have us answer this question instead of answering yourself. I think in some form or the other, you realize this isn't in alignment with the highest you that is pursuing dreams and self-mastery and came here in order to have us represent that more clearly and dissuade you from this.

Or I'm full of bullshit.

 

Just ask yourself these three questions while being present with yourself:

Is this in alignment with my highest self?

Is this choice completely in energetic alignment with where I am RIGHT NOW?

Is this moving me closer to my most important goals?

Make your choice on the answers to these questions. 

One last thing, women like sex just as much as men. Approach a lot of girls with a strong frame and good social calibration while being congruent to yourself. You'll get plenty of sex( it'll take at least six weeks to really develop a baseline and skill-set if you have no experience so be mindful of that.)

Edit: Clarity

Edited June 16, 2016 by J. M. Wigglesworth

[Toby]

1 hour ago, MartineF said:

@Toby Did you? Is it so?

I don't know what you are talking about. I certainly have an opinion on the issue but I did not even reply with statements or my opinion but only with questions to @dboyle . It's his issue if he feels he wants to do this. My opinion is, that it might even have toxic side effects and might add to the man's and woman's confusion. From women that I saw working as hookers, I perceived most of them somehow "dark" and "murky" energetically. They weren't ugly as such but their vibe was - to me - disgusting.

Edited June 16, 2016 by Toby

[Lynnel]

20 minutes ago, J. M. Wigglesworth said:

Is this choice completely in energetic alignment with where I am RIGHT NOW?

I can't fanthom a reason for that unless your shadow is full of pain, dispair etc and you need to feel it on a conscious level. But as everyone here stated that's not gonna solve the problem.

Just learn dating and get a girlfriend.

Your first experience sets the frame for all the rest, so wait to have a decent one rather than building your whole sexual life on shambles.

Best of luck

[Ajax]

@dboyle  I  had sex with a prostitute at age 14 as it was kind of a tradition in my family... probably our situations don't match because I was just a child and you are of legal drinking age. It kinda screwed me up a little and everyone who I know who did it, didn't like it very much. So I wouldn't really recommend it to anyone. Of course, it is your life so it is not my place to say whether you should or not do so.

If you are worried about how you will do.. just learn foreplay techniques such as touching and oral. I can't tell you how many times women have told me how many bad male sexual partners they have had. However if you can get a girl off several times, you will create a better experience for her than most men even if you only did last 30 seconds (although there are literally hundreds of techniques that teach you how to last longer.) In short, focus on her pleasure and you will do just fine...

 

[Mal]

@Corte

Well said Corte

[John]

You're 21 years old. Your body is pumping full of seeds that want to be spread. It's completely understandable that this urge would manifest itself the way it is now, in the situation you find yourself in.

But you are swimming in murky waters my friend. Waves of sexual energy will come and go, erections, carnal desire, all of these things. But..

Think of the life experience that led a prostitute to where she is now. Think of how she must feel not knowing who you are, not knowing who it could be behind the number, and not knowing who the next guy will be after you... Only ever really knowing that this is what it takes for her to survive.

You're coming from a sincere place man, but I think, if at all possible, try and avoid this route.

[Man in the Mirror]

On 6/15/2016 at 4:26 PM, dboyle said:

so I think it would be a good idea to lose my virginity before I get to college, so that I can at least have SOME experience under my belt before getting involved with a girl (who btw, probably has lost her virginity and has multiple partners before anyway).

what experience would you get from this? the experience of looking up a hooker, putting in zero courtship effort, engaging in the fakest kind of sex, and paying her? what benefit will this experience give you in the future when you're looking for a gf? how about when you do find a gf, and she asks about your history? are you going to tell her the truth about your first time, or lie about it? if the experience will cause you to be dishonest, it will do you more harm in actual relationships. and, there are plenty of girls in college who are virgins, assuming there aren't any is just silly

 

On 6/15/2016 at 4:39 PM, dboyle said:

Then there's the possibility of me meeting a girl I realllyyy like and likes me back. Then when we eventually go to have sex, she'll likely be disappointed and then leave and tell all her girlfriends how bad I was.

every girl likes different things. romantic sex is all about learning what your partner likes. that could take some time and multiple tries but there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

 

On 6/15/2016 at 4:39 PM, dboyle said:

If I were to go to college as a virgin at 21, there'll be a ton of judgement, plus a reputation as being bad in bed, then I'll be even more in a messed up situation for the duration of my stay there. 

Look at the other side of the coin. Escorts are professionals at what they do. Are you going to be disappointed if you find a girlfriend and learn she's not as good in bed as the hooker was? I hope not. Are you going to judge her, tell your friends how bad she was in bed, shame her and spread a bad reputation about her? I hope not. If she is a decent person who cares about you, she wouldn't do that to you either.