Explanations for lack of interest in women

[Ya know]

@Leo Gura Do you have any explanations for homosexuality? Or theories on it? I don't get.. why? It doesn't really make sense. Evolutionarily it seems whack. 

Like, I'm "supposed" to be attracted to women to propogate my genes. Ive seen your reproduction is an illusion video but, I dunno. 

[Ya know]

@remember haha... I guess I should have mentioned I've had sex with two guys. Am I in that much denial that i can't admit that I'm gay? Why is my brain like that. 

Does anyone have explanations on the psychology of denial and the refusal to acknowledge reality? Like.. shouldn't at this point I be accepting of the fact that I'm gay? Werid. I genuinely am very confused. 

[Derek White]

30 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Have you never heard of a she-devil?

I think I’ve met them. (Many floating around in the forum, but don’t tell them).?

[remember]

@Ya know i guess god didn’t plan completely on monogamy at first - the plan was also not to create such a huge population - as it turns out the plan was small groups and procreation was not meant to be only between men and women but also a form of socializing and sharing love.

so the plan was also to create people who were able to see love from a different perspective. you can still love women, that’s one of the fun part, you just do it differently and you can really love the whole spectrum - but of course you are probably selective in other aspects more then.

Edited February 3, 2020 by remember

[Elisabeth]

@Ya know What are you afraid of? What would be the unwanted consequences of you being gay? 

[Ya know]

@Elisabeth Disapproval from my family I think. And the negative opinions of other people. 

I think that's the main two. Maybe... I don't know. I think I have this image of being a macho chad type dude who is hell alpha (which I hate being but was my role in highschool) and I'm clinging to it despite hating it. I'm scared to shed my identity and be myself for fear of being genuine. 

As for unwanted consequences..  I know today is a lot better, but being a "minority" is lame. I think I have internalized homophobia from my dad.

I remember one time when gay people came up and he said - "I'm glad our kids haven't turned out like that" when I was like 13. Minor I know but it's kinda stuck with me.

[Elisabeth]

@Ya know Sure. So there's your fear and your reasons to deny. 

Since being inauthentic takes a lot of energy, you probably don't want to do it for your whole life. But you need not do any rushed actions now. Just start thinking about yourself a little differently: I like guys sexually. I may be gay. Just get used to it. It's ok if that takes a year or more. Think about what that means for your future, find a new vision of what your relationships may be like. Continue experimentation. 

When you're ready to come out to friends or family, here's the best guide I know

 

[remember]

@Ya know who says you can’t be alpha anymore the moment you accept being gay? because being alpha for a lot of male means not being gay? and the ones who really count in their opinion of you might be exactly males?

most gay people i know wait the longest until they tell their parents or at least their dads because of cause the acceptance of our parents is one of the important factors to somehow accept ourselves (gay, non gay) - it has been like that for several years since birth and untangling from family norms/hierarchies is really tricky as they sometimes even play out even years and years after untangling. that’s actually something women often find out through motherhood or work with children as the moment you become a parent/care taker you realize the mechanisms at work in you - that’s not only happening in parent child dynamics but also in couple dynamics. and most of all it’s a wound in self esteem if there is a factor of personality that might never be fully accepted by one of your parents. i guess especially if the father is unforgiving or only ok if you turn out a certain way it’s difficult, because how could you become yourself entirely if part of you does not accept you the way you are?

Edited February 3, 2020 by remember

[UnconsciousHuman]

@Austin Actualizing Insightful

[Viking]

On 2/2/2020 at 0:28 PM, Ya know said:

Beliefs around acceptable behavior type of thing.

judging by this i think you might have suppressed your masculinity. watch 2 parts of Leo's videos on how to be a man 

 

 

and try to see if you have some resistance to the stuff he says and see if u can apply it in your life.

i think your masculine energy is blocked and that's why you're not attracted to feminine energy. i think you need to feel a man to be attracted to women.

i have experienced this firsthand the last few months. ive started a job where i have to bring out my masculinity more and what happened is that i started to be attracted to women more.

what helped is also quitting porn 2 months ago.

like intuitively being a man is just wanting to see a woman and fuck her brains out as leo said but what happened to me and maybe to you too is that we're afraid of this energy of owning the woman because it's considered bad and not how we should act, its not socially acceptable, so we suppressed this side of ourselves and now we just dont feel this attraction to women and what's left is our feminine side which is attracted to guys.

[Meetjoeblack]

On 2020-02-02 at 6:58 AM, Ya know said:

Hey. I'm looking for answers.

I'm a 23 year old guy who's had a girlfriend, but never actually liked her, nor wanted to pursue sex with her. We mutually split due to disinterest (like 4 years ago) and since then I haven't genuinely been interested in anyone else.  I think I may have anxiety around communicating with women who I don't know in a PUA way, but maybe that's violating social norms. Beliefs around acceptable behavior type of thing.

Where it gets a bit weirder (and embarrassing) is that I have a severe addiction to pornography. And I mean severe. Like everyday I'll do it no matter what, no matter how hard I try. I've done porn blockers, mediating, goal setting. None of that stuff works. 

And the porn has gotten gayer, and gayer until it's so gay I can't even call myself straight anymore.

So my questions are:

How do you know if you are gay or straight? Is it possible to warp your mind through pornography to the point where women no longer interest you?

Does anyone else have similar experiences? 

As a side note, I haven't had strong romantic feelings for anyone except one guy that I met through another social circle. So maybe this is an obvious scenario (Gay porn + infatuation with guy = gay) but I don't know what is ''true'' or real. Any opinions are appreciated.

Also, I had a traumatic upbringing with an older sibling which has really warped my perception of women. While I don't struggle interacting with them in a basic manner I kind of have the feelings that subconsciously I avoid them like the plague, nor want to place myself in any vulnerable position around them.

I'm going through therapy and being proactive, I just thought I'd try and get other perspectives. 

 

 

Could be testosterone. Could be sleep. Any number of things.

I picked up a college girl around your age. Her complaint is guys her age
Don't approach, aren't sexual, lack ambition, etc.

I am noticing a growing amount of young men disinterested in sex and finding God or chasing spirituality.