The Elixir Lake Of Wisdom

[fridjonk]

After my business taking a hit during COVID and going into a complete freeze, It's time to slowly start nudging my way into that world again, after being in an awakening mode for the last months. Doing not much except absorb spiritual knowledge, experience, and realizations after realizations. 

It's time to put the business on the front end, for a little while, but also keeping a healthy spiritual life simultaneously. But I've still got two more trips to go before I put it for a little rest. I'll take MDMA tonight and LSD once again later this week. After that, I'll head on to my farm, where I'll be going into lambing season, with a lot of time for business and contemplation during the nights.

After realizing true boredom in this break, I've seen you need to have something to do in life, even though it's all a distraction from realizing god. It's good to keep a healthy balance and enjoy life. I wish to make some money with this current business method, so I can move onto more meaningful fulfilling purpose later down the road.

But this won't stop me from awakening deeper and deeper.

I'd die for Truth and Love. 

[fridjonk]

 

Alright, it's time to dive into the world of MDMA. I'm excited to see how this compares to the Love awakenings I've had on other psychedelics. 

Love is Love either way. 

 

[fridjonk]

After the MDMA experience last week, I've done a lot of work, contemplation, meditation, self-inquiry, etc. But the trip itself was not as powerful as a classical psychedelic. I took about 220mg, which is a lot for a first time. But it was insightful in many ways. It was more like being drunk on love, rather than the amazing infinite love I've felt on LSD and mushrooms.

Now it's been two weeks since my last LSD trip and the tolerance has worn off. It's time to go back in there tonight, I've got some potent tabs so this one will be deep. These trips last couple of months have been really nice and smooth, some definitely rough, but overall great improvements happening fast. The ego is lessening by a lot every trip. The more tripping I do, the more humble I become I've felt, even though I felt I was humble before. I don't have an urge to be this "know-it-all" on the forum that tries to solve everyone's problems, even though I may know the answer, there is no urge now to respond. unless I feel I can really pitch in for fun. The more trips I've gone through the more I see how not knowing is the ego's worst enemy, It sure would love to have all the answers loaded up and ready to fire. Even after trips where I feel I've just gotten it all, when I come back I feel that the state of not knowing is the best state for staying permanently aware throughout the day. The last trips have been really focused on truth, and authenticity, and some on god's infinite Imagination, love, and selflessness. We'll see what comes up tonight, I've got no clue.

Today I went with my family on a road trip to a beach near a small town. It was like a full-fledged summer which is unusual at this time of year here in Iceland. I managed to stay completely aware and meditated almost throughout the entire day, which was awesome. The sound of the oceans was so relaxing and the energy from the sun felt like it supercharged me since I've not felt the sun's beams for a long time. 

Edited April 26, 2020 by fridjonk

[fridjonk]

Last night I became conscious of the mechanics of god. I really went into the engine of how reality is run, and I'm utterly amazed by how intelligent this creation is. It's so unbelievable its the most beautiful creation there could ever be. I'm just utterly speechless and floored.

I was also put through god's tough love. God is not just rainbows and sunshine for the ego, I was shown the most utterly terrifying collective suffering as a test to see If I could love it. It was uncomfortable, but I did not resist it. It was terrifying and beautiful at the same time. The most amazing thing about it was how selfless god is, the ego, which is writing this can not understand god's selflessness. Words don't do it justice, thought does not do it justice, not even close. 

I'm thankful for psychedelics beyond belief, but I'm also aware that it may become too much of a crutch. Maybe one day I'll decide to take a long rest, but I am not going to decide on any desires or thoughts. All of this "I'm going to do this", "I'm going to do that" is nothing but what the ego desires and wants. I'm going to start to try and live more spontaneously and just see what the moment brings.

I'm done living life, it's time for life to live itself! 

[fridjonk]

 

I've decided to eat 2 potent edible chocolates that my friend who has an allergy to edibles, kindly gave to me. 

I'm in for a deep trip! 

[Zigzag Idiot]

 

Bon voyage,,,,@fridjonk

Good to see you checking  in,,,,,  

Let us know how it goes. If you feel like.

[fridjonk]

@Zigzag Idiot Thank you my friend, will do.

I've just taken 118mg of ketamine as an experiment in consciousness, let's see where this goes. 

 

[Zigzag Idiot]

@fridjonk  i hope you have a trip sitter. That's a pretty heavy dose. If not already, your probably going into the ketamine hole shortly.  I'll be interested in hearing/reading about your experience.

Good luck to ya,,, 

[fridjonk]

I ended up eating a potent edible alongside the 118mg of ketamine last night. And man was that a trip! I pretty much tripped on edibles every day last week and achieved some sort of control during my trips, so I can easily sail and navigate deep waters now (not escaping fears ofc). 

It's safe to say I went deep into the K-hole and enjoyed it immensely. I learned a lot, but I find it more difficult to integrate trips from substances such as Edibles, Ket, MDMA, etc. Nothing comes close to LSD in that regard for me personally. I really can't describe much of the trip so I won't try. however, I'm fascinated by this ability I was able to achieve on the trip, in which I was capable of taking control over every moment. As soon as some sort of resistance arose, I could somehow shape myself to just totally love it for what it is. It was truly beautiful and something I need to learn to use in everyday life.

Me and my friend are aiming to try Salvia and DMT this summer which I think I'm getting more ready for every day. I've really felt the need to go deeper after experimenting with LSD to extreme depths this year. My mind has not been focused on enlightenment lately since I just want to learn to live happily and focus on enjoying life, but not putting consciousness work to the side, that will always follow. I want to learn to love more and express my love to the world through my creativity or service.

[Zigzag Idiot]

I seem to be sensitive to Ketamine. I had a very unpleasant first trip. Have experimented with smaller doses since then.

Im glad you were able to enjoy it and get something out of it.  I sure didn't. It was terrible for me.

I prefer Lsd, cubensis mushrooms and also the Ayahuasca concentrated solutions, one with Harmaloids (MAO-I) and Cumala Extract with 8% 5 meo dmt the other with a DMT Fumarate solution taken all at once. Actually  the Harmaline is taken 30 minutes befor the other on an empty stomach. It's an all day trip with a long steady but pleasant come down.

3 hours ago, fridjonk said:

Me and my friend are aiming to try Salvia and DMT this summer which I think I'm getting more ready for every day.

I tried that mixture the other day and it was just plain nasty. Also not a pleasant experience for me. Maybe you'll have better luck with it like you did the ketamine.

A trip on a couple of 250 Lsd gel tabs is most always agreeable with me.

?

[fridjonk]

On 6/16/2020 at 2:05 AM, Zigzag Idiot said:

I seem to be sensitive to Ketamine. I had a very unpleasant first trip. Have experimented with smaller doses since then.

Im glad you were able to enjoy it and get something out of it.  I sure didn't. It was terrible for me.

My friend is exactly the same, navigating it in the lower doses seems to be really healing for him. I found the edibles likely to have played a large part in how well I was able to navigate it since I had been doing them a lot and was very familiar around them. I'm interested to see how my next ketamine trip goes, but I'd probably also take an edible again. I've had really good luck blending substances such as Ket and Mdma with edibles. But still, nothing beats a clean trip of Mushrooms or LSD. 

On 6/16/2020 at 2:05 AM, Zigzag Idiot said:

It's an all day trip with a long steady but pleasant come down.

That sounds very interesting, enough time for integration such as with LSD; that's what I love most about it. 

On 6/16/2020 at 2:05 AM, Zigzag Idiot said:

A trip on a couple of 250 Lsd gel tabs is most always agreeable with me.

Amen! Same for me. 

[fridjonk]

hmmm, what to say.

Why did I lose interest in the daily journaling?  After I went to tend to lambing season in April and May, I noticed how attached I had become to the forum and the internet in general. Being on a farm outside all day, you're never bored. But It also makes it hard to stay in touch with the spiritual side of things but enhances it in other ways. Being alone in the nights, in the silence of the night, you get to know yourself better. Life on the farm is not always pretty. This year we swamped the sheep in attempt to make them all deliver in around 3 days, instead of the traditional 1-2 months. But of course, the swamps were malfunctioned and it ended with half delivering in April and the other half in May, with a 2 week period in between where nothing happened. This lead to more miscarriage than in previous years. But now they've all gone up to the mountains to enjoy their freedom with their newborns. 

Now I'm back in the city and miss the farm already. I'll visit more in the summer tho. Now I have to focus on my online business which has been quite hectic since the virus. It has completely demotivated me in the process. I'm debating now whether to keep trying or just getting a normal construction or electrician job. I quite enjoy being in the field of construction, it's a freeing job and I find it fun to work with tools and such. But I also enjoy the freedom of my own schedule, it allows for more spiritual practice and free thinking. But then again I've got less income and don't get to spend as much money on hobbies and such since Facebook ads have become quite expensive. 

Maybe I need to get back into journaling, I found it quite helpful to keep my mind fluid and flowing by writing my thoughts out.

I've also enjoyed the psychedelic break I got during that time, but I'm back now having done multiple edible trips, ketamine, and I've got some Mushroom, LSD, Salvia, and DMT trips coming up soon. There are many fears I've yet to tackle, but I can't really identify what those fears are. I've had multiple ego deaths and have become somewhat used to them. But I feel like an ego death is not really the same as total physical death. If I were so comfortable with death, there would be no fear left, yet there is.

I'm not in as much of a rush as I used to be on this journey of awakening. I'd love to do it on a nice controllable pace because I've yet to find my true life purpose and what I wish to do with this life. But I also get most of those answers by going deeper into myself and shedding the layers of the false self. I've got many interests but none that could be identified as my passion. I'm also aware I may be overlooking the obvious, my passion might be staring me in the face going unnoticed. 

[fridjonk]

I've planed to take LSD on Thursday after meeting up with my friend this evening and picking it up. he's always willing to lend me some of his batch when I've gone dry. We had a great conversation about what all this spiritual work is leading to and how to enjoy the journey. And the answer is obviously very simple, it's just to love, then love some more, then when you think you can't love any more, you love extra more until you run dry of love...but then you love again some more.  

That is the highest wisdom.

I got a lot done today and finally was somewhat productive after being in a little slump. I wrote down a to-do list last night, I suppose that helped a lot. I'll do that again tonight. I also trying to pick up more new hobbies to learn. What I enjoy most is learning something new and hitting a plateau, because it takes patience to grow and learn. I might learn to make electronic music as my friend has mastered, I enjoy that music a lot and feel it's a great way to express oneself. I've also started to draw for fun, maybe that turns into a hobby that can stick around. My friend just released a new album inspired by various psychedelic trips and ofc Leo.

 

 

[fridjonk]

I'm taking LSD tomorrow at midnight. I haven't exactly been sticking to my spiritual practices, so I'm kickstarting those back with a trip. Not going in with any expectations other than to grow more as a human, and become more loving. I lost all intellectual interest in this work a while back, so I don't really enjoy talking about it as much, rather than just experiencing it, then proceed to live life as lovingly as I can. That's the reason I haven't been partaking as much on the forum as I used to, although I enjoy the journals here; they're authentic and nice to read over from time to time. I don't feel I can gain much from posts here anymore, nor books, at least not on this subject of spirituality. But I'll never stop learning for fun.

Maybe all this will change after the trip, and I have a feeling it will. I've been a little closed off emotionally last two months. Maybe I just need some heart opening to start enjoying taking part in discussions on this wonderful forum, I really enjoy helping people I believe I can help, but see very little reason for it at this point in time.

I wonder where I'm going. The road lies clear and empty in front of me, but I'm over here in neutral revving my engine. 

There are some actions I have to take in order for me to get moving. I really want to build my own house, manage my own business, and being able to focus fully on awakening and enlightenment. I notice how rotten working online can make you feel. Maybe I want to start a carpentry business or something of that sort. I enjoy being outside and find that work very satisfying. But I feel like it lacks the mastery aspect I so wish to partake in. There is a ceiling in that type of work you can hit pretty fast. Maybe I'll manage to channel my creativity in other ways around that. I can feel my potential simmering and not being utilized.

So I guess there's a lot of road to cover tomorrow night. If anyone even managed to read through this, I hope your life falls in place to your fullest desires and wishes. 

[Zigzag Idiot]

1 hour ago, fridjonk said:

I lost all intellectual interest in this work a while back, so I don't really enjoy talking about it as much, rather than just experiencing it,

I feel that I understand where you're coming from. What you describe has been in my experience, also. An ebb and flow that happens with different aspects of the work. The undertone of it In the long run feels like I can't retrieve it at will. Nor can I throw it away.

[fridjonk]

Finally, I've got my hands on some Salvia-60X extract. I almost went in tonight but felt it would've been rushed. If I'm feeling good tomorrow I'll proceed to experiment with it. Most of this evening and night was spent heavily researching this substance, and from what I've read, it could pose some benefits to my spiritual growth. I'm careful with taking all this read information lightly and when I go in, I'll do so with a blank slate. Much of the info I managed to find on salvia comes from silly young people, so it's not much help. I'm going to rewatch Leo's video on it before I go to sleep for one final report. I don't really know what I want to get out of salvia; I'll just ask her to lead the way. I guess I'd just like to face my fears fully. My last LSD trip didn't end being as profound as the others I've had, nevertheless it was a very enjoyable experience, with many moments of insights. I didn't really tackle any fears or try to control the trip in any-way, it just happened on its own. So I guess I'm hoping for a little more confrontation with Salvia.

I will start off with microdoses and work my way up slowly, to a level I feel I'm satisfied handling alone without a trip sitter. It will be done in total darkness as I've read is the proper way. Most likely with nice heartfelt music to start off with, as the doses increase it will be done in silent darkness.

[Wisebaxter]

On 03/02/2020 at 2:38 AM, fridjonk said:

I meditated for 40 minutes tonight; wishing it could've been more near 60. I expect tomorrow to be switching from my "Do nothing" meditation, and picking up Kriya Yoga again; as i find it to be better suited for me, to raise my consciousness

@fridjonk How long would you say you need to practice Kriya Yoga for to start noticing a difference? Also, what were the first changes you noticed? Hope you don't mind me asking. Love your journal by the way, really interesting. 

[fridjonk]

@Wisebaxter Thanks for dropping by!  I'd say it really depends on what state of consciousness you're at right now, and if you've had awakenings with psychedelics or not. I started to notice a big leap in my meditations when I'd been doing Kriya daily for about 2 weeks. If you stick with the practice and do it properly for a month, I'm sure you'll start to notice immense effects take place. What I noticed most is how the energy system of your body starts to flow around more, up your spine, and through the chakras. This is essentially like a spiritual workout. I get faster results from doing it over traditional mediation, although I tend to blend them both. And it's not easy by any means, doing it daily is a challenge if you're new to it but well worth it. Check out Ryan Kurczak on youtube for some guidance. 

 

Today was spent thinking about Salvia. I had a meet-up with my friend and we had a great conversation about Salvia and future trip plans while playing some soccer (football). I've not been feeling as afraid and nervous as I'd expected. I'll dip a toe into this new world in a few minutes, then maybe again when I wake up. I'm going in with a lot of humble respect for this substance and completely open for an experience that hopefully helps my growth, and deepens my understanding of this reality. 

 

 

[Wisebaxter]

7 hours ago, fridjonk said:

@Wisebaxter Thanks for dropping by!  I'd say it really depends on what state of consciousness you're at right now, and if you've had awakenings with psychedelics or not. I started to notice a big leap in my meditations when I'd been doing Kriya daily for about 2 weeks. If you stick with the practice and do it properly for a month, I'm sure you'll start to notice immense effects take place. What I noticed most is how the energy system of your body starts to flow around more, up your spine, and through the chakras. This is essentially like a spiritual workout. I get faster results from doing it over traditional mediation, although I tend to blend them both. And it's not easy by any means, doing it daily is a challenge if you're new to it but well worth it. Check out Ryan Kurczak on youtube for some guidance. 

Thanks a lot for all the great advice! I did it for a about a week and then lost the habit unfortunately. I'm not great at maintaining these things daily and I often worry I'm doing the wrong practice. This is a result of having collected so many since finding Leo and spirituality in general and not taking action on them. Now I'm left with a platter of practices and don't know where to start lol. I've done mediation on and off for years and always found that makes me feel more relaxed and mindful from day to day. In the Kriya book ok Leo's booklist it says you only need Kriya and doesn't reccommend things like mediation where you just aist and let your mind roam freely. This threw me a bit. I take it you don't agree with this then? You think it's worthwhile to do Kriya and meditation? 

[fridjonk]

@Wisebaxter The Kriya Pranayama technique I tend to do includes a formal meditation in it. There are no rules to this game, what works for some is totally relative. So I sometimes feel like it calms my ego-mind to sit in silence and do nothing. I feel I don't try to get distracted as much because if there's one thing the ego doesn't like, its boredom. 

5 hours ago, Wisebaxter said:

Now I'm left with a platter of practices and don't know where to start lol.

I know this all too well. However after I started doing Kriya, I noticed more "real" results from it than any other practice I'd tried. If you manage to get into a routine doing it, you will notice some change shortly after. It has helped me to write each session down on paper and check it off, that way I tend to stick to it longer, it's just a matter of taking it into action and stop thinking about it.

 Kriya alongside contemplation or self-inquiry is a deadly combo for the ego.  

Edited July 3, 2020 by fridjonk