The Elixir Lake Of Wisdom

[fridjonk]

Chapter 1:  

I've thought about it for some time now whether i should start a journal here on this wonderful forum opposed to one note. I've come to the conclusion that it shall be done and done so now. I want to use this as motivation to better my meditation practices, reading habits, etc; to be held accountable to actually do the work I've been doing and do more of it - because the potential we all have is so so so much more than we actually grant ourselves.

That's that. 

 

Edited February 2, 2020 by fridjonk

[fridjonk]

Chapter 2: 

I've begun to question everything a lot more thoroughly now - reading Ken Wilber's book "The Religion Of Tomorrow" has made me more aware of the pitfalls I've been falling into in this work. I need to rethink everything. Having had many deep and profound psychedelic experiences, I had thought just because I confirmed something while in that state - It'd hold true for me when i'd return to base level consciousness; that's not the case. As soon as you do that, you're clinging to a concept in your mind and taking it up on belief. I intend going forward, to question everything a lot more, but with an open mind.

This book is one of the best, if not the best book I've ever read, even though I'm only on page 200. Its really something else. I'll for sure be re-reading at least once a year. 

Other:

I meditated for 40 minutes tonight; wishing it could've been more near 60. I expect tomorrow to be switching from my "Do nothing" meditation, and picking up Kriya Yoga again; as i find it to be better suited for me, to raise my consciousness. I also intend to try mirror gazing as an experiment tomorrow. We'll see how that goes. 

Edited February 3, 2020 by fridjonk

[fridjonk]

Chapter 3:

This Ken Wilber book continues to amaze me to further and further reaches. I'm really falling in love with the integral system and how much more  advanced it is than Spiral Dynamics. I read about 30 pages today (which takes a long time with a book like this) and about 30 pages of Carlos Castaneda. Wisdom has become my priority in life and i will continue to aspire to grow up and wake up, by reading; questioning what i read, taking psychedelics more often and contemplating. 

Other: 

Yet again I've procrastinated with the Kriya Yoga meditation. I was going to start watching Ryan Kurczak's YouTube series today, but got distracted in reading and contemplating. I will try and look into it tomorrow. Otherwise I did my normal meditation; 50 minutes this time with the main focus being absolutely still. It's to my surprise how much of a difference it can make, not moving even the tiniest bit. I got into a nice deep state, but only for a minute or two. 

Soon I'll be starting Osho's 112 meditations book; It includes bunch of meditation techniques which I'll be experimenting with alongside the Kriya Yoga. I will likely perform those meditations during the day, and the Kriya before bed. 

 

[fridjonk]

Chapter 4: 

Today I started "Conversations With god" book 3 - got 70 pages in; fantastic so far. This series has been one of the best I've ever read. One has to be careful of how to take the wisdom in it; not on blind faith, but with an open mind and perseverance. I've verified much of the truth in these series to be true via mystical experiences. But to say that to be true in my direct experience, as of now when I'm not aware of it in my direct experience; would be nothing more than a belief in what seemed to be true at one particular moment, but not in this same moment.

I also read some Carlos Castaneda today. I'm treading these waters carefully, as Don Juan does not seem to possess the highest teaching. But i will not judge too soon, as I'm only 40 pages in. But these ancient teachings seem to be rather Magic-Mythic oriented in how they perceive these mystical states. But non the less I expect some top notch wisdom from there too. 

Other: 

 Meditated for 50 minutes before writing this post. Absolute stillness is a major key for going deep I've noticed, so I'm placing a lot of focus on that. My technique as of now consists of the "Do Nothing" method which has been OK, but I'm looking to go deeper with some new methods I may try out; Or it will just end with a solid Kriya practice if i ever get to watching those videos. But I'm in no hurry and I will see where the stream takes me.  

Edited February 5, 2020 by fridjonk

[Zigzag Idiot]

 

1 hour ago, fridjonk said:

I also read some Carlos Castaneda today. I'm treading these waters carefully, as Don Juan does not seem to possess the highest teaching. But i will not judge too soon, as I'm only 40 pages in. But these ancient teachings seem to be rather Magic-Mythic oriented in how they perceive these mystical states. But non the less I expect some top notch wisdom from there too. 

I found the character Don Juan to expand over time. Especially when his peer, Don Genero is brought in to the mix. ?

[fridjonk]

@Zigzag Idiot  Haha, thanks for pointing that out - I'll stay open minded. 

[fridjonk]

Chapter 5:

I continued CwG book 3 today. Got tons of wisdom from the pages i read; it made me really contemplative and thoughtful. I've noticed that from reading these series, that they make one really think and reflect on what you could be doing better in your life. I'll have to read the series from the beginning again after i finish this book, they are that juicy and profound. 

I also continued to plough through "The Religion of Tomorrow". Amazing book, It too gets me into a weirdly contemplative state, where I'm able to see and reflect on what I'm doing wrong and how to fix that; what to expect in my future growth. I really like how he's able to map out all of these structures, states, stages and growth out so nicely. 

Other: 

I did not meditate as i got kind of stuck in this "Pandemic" series on Netflix. There was a very interesting part where in beginning of episode 2, there was shown a pure stage green mother; she was an anti vaccine supporter. It was very interesting to notice her viewpoint and put oneself in here shoes, to see how from her viewpoint it could make perfect sense to not vaccine her kids. I also noticed how she imposed her own will onto them. In teaching them awareness and higher consciousness. She went on to say something like "how I'm raising you guys is, we are going against 90% of the worlds population and you are the 10%" This will without a doubt make them get wrongful ideas of their fellow human beings just because they are "above" them. If i remember correctly, Sadhguru spoke about if one should raise ones children by forcing spirituality onto them. he was very much against doing so. I'll have to look it up and find out exactly what he said. From what I understand, you should not impose your beliefs and biases onto your children but rather teach them to think for themselves. 

[fridjonk]

Chapter 6:  

CwG 3 and RoT were read today. In CwG; god went into detail on reincarnation, death and life. It was very interesting to get such a detailed view on how reincarnation might work; this is something I'll have to contemplate and experience before I take any stance on it. It was also made clear i need to contemplate death much much more to appreciate life more fully. Although ultimately there is no such thing as death. There is only life and infinite consciousness. But all these labels have to be transcended at some point, so one can become directly conscious in this direct experience. 

RoT went into cognitive states of Global mind, Meta-mind, Overmind and Supermind. Overmind was especially interesting as it seems to be a comfort spot one can hit. There the individual can experience such high levels of ecstatic and erotic pleasure that one might lose vision of ones path. This happens specially for those who still have shadow issues. Overmind also seems to be the point where you transcend the whole of human history and infinite knowledge. This is the point you become omniscient and go beyond all of the infinite levels of wisdom and possibly known knowledge. Supposedly this is what is supposed to happen. I've not experienced such deep moments myself yet, I'd say I've definitely gotten a peak at Overmind, but nowhere near full Overmind experience. I'll continue to read about the last state tomorrow, known as SUPERMIND. Nothing in existence sounds more compelling than to realize these states and I WILL STOP AT NO POINT. This is the reason god created duality, to ultimately know it self, and i'll make sure to find my way back home. 

Other:

To get to these deeper realizations I just mentioned; to find my way back home (which is right here, there is nowhere to go). As god, i create reality and how it will turn out. By the amount of effort i'm putting in right now, I see how much more i could be doing. I'm not even trying on more than 25% effort. The only thing i do is meditate, read and contemplate from time to time, and psychedelics every month or two. 

Well if i were to see a version of myself that i'd think had a pretty good shot at "awakening". That guy would do the following: 

Do Kriya-Yoga or meditation in the mornings; he would do normal meditation also during the day, and before bed; he would breathe and live meditation and Kriya Yoga. he would learn to lucid dream as fast as possible, to practice mindfulness and awareness during sleep, as the real self never sleeps. The face before birth self. The self that was awake before the big bang. This ultimate version of myself would eat cleaner and be mindful throughout the day. Contemplation and self-inquiry would also be along side the top priorities. And of course, more of the good ol' psychedelics.  These are the tools I created to be able to awaken. There are no bullshit excuses. Peace. 

[fridjonk]

Chapter 7:  MOOD - 

Today was an off day; did not read nor meditate. I find that I have to take off days especially from reading to process the information and give the mind a little rest. Will continue on tomorrow. 

Other:

I've been eating absolutely terribly, this is not usually a problem. When I want to eat healthy, I manage to do so. Now after "purging out" and going all out on trash food. I'll pull myself together and get that in check before Monday. It will consist of mainly, veggies, fruits, some protein sources like eggs. peanut butter and cacao, protein-bread and whatever is for dinner; usually that's in the healthier range more than not.

[fridjonk]

Chapter 8: MOOD - ?

Read some Wilber today and Cwg 3. Which ended up taking most of the day, which then pushed my meditation back further. So i meditated at 2:00am. The meditation lasted 50 minutes, I was so dead ass tired during it that it was more of a patience test than a proper meditation. I'm upping my time rapidly as I'm about to take meditation a lot more seriously this week and next weeks. I'm also planing a mushroom trip soon; probably next week. It will likely be somewhere around  4 grams.  

Other: 

After starting this journaling and more of a systematic approach to this work with OneNote. I've noticed a DRASTIC change in almost all aspects of my life. My writing keeps improving, I have better thought streams and generally feel more fulfilled. Writing your thought out and taking them from a subject to an object seems to be doing wonders. Couldn't recommend Leo's OneNote video more (commonplace book). Most of my life has just consisted of input. But expressing my thoughts with output has made me realize how important it is.  

I managed to eat healthy today and did some core work. Exercise is such an important factor that most people neglect it vastly.

I'm on the brink of passing out - of tiredness while writing this. I may have to start writing these earlier. 

[fridjonk]

Chapter 9: 

This Wilber book is really thick and dense as I keep plowing through it. I'm currently on page 370. It's just fantastic; can't wait to read some of his other stuff as well. I've been dialing my reading consumption back a little, to make more space for contemplating things on my own. I want to be my own thinker and own authority. So I'm taking all of these books and videos with a grain of salt. I want to read more on ancient wisdom such as Lao-Tzu and Sun-Tzu as I think there is a lot to be learned from that ancient wisdom.

I meditated for 20 minutes which was supposed to be 50. I can often tell how a meditation session will end up, by how active my mind has been for the day. But I really ought to meditate through it anyway; no matter what I'm feeling. The longer into meditation I go, the easier it becomes to silence the monkey mind. So I'm sure it will be no problem in the upcoming days. 

Other:

Tonight I made a golden version of my dream self in OneNote. I wrote what the superhuman version of me would be like; what he would do in daily life and more. I then wrote about what it would take to get to that point. I am aware of "chasing some other future version of myself" is maybe not the best mindset, but if one is conscious of what he is doing, I think it cant have a great impact. I find that this is a must if I'm going to be balancing business (survival) with spiritual awakening. A little stoic discipline won't hurt.

I managed to eat moderately healthy today. I need to be drinking a lot more water though.   

Edited February 11, 2020 by fridjonk

[fridjonk]

Chapter 10: 

I find that journaling every day is taking away some of the core focus I have towards this work. I'll dial it back to every two days or so and see how that goes. One of my key goals now is to achieve Lucid Dreaming to support my spiritual practice; It's probably the most underrated tool when it comes to this work. So now after meditation every night, instead of coming here to journal, I will be focusing on achieving Lucidity every night instead; and report back here every other day or so.

Other:

Meditated for 40 minutes, was a great session. Been pushing back that Kriya for long enough now. I will start tomorrow during midday, then normal meditation before bed.

I'm also preparing for a Mushroom + Mdma trip very soon. So it's time to tune in to prime-time spiritual beast mode. 

 

 

 

 

Edited February 12, 2020 by fridjonk

[fridjonk]

Chapter 11: 

I'm getting close to finishing the CwG trio as I continued reading it today, can't wait to read them again. But I'm also excited to rest books for a week or two when I finish my current unread book batch. All this input gets to your head as just thoughts, so I believe it's of vital importance to take time off to contemplate and meditate with no new input - to re-read and process the info you just read and most importantly QUESTION IT.

Other: 

Skipped meditation last night as there was a big family living room talk, nothing serious. Just a nice little get together. Also skipped meditation tonight as I decided to watch a movie with my brother and sister instead. It was quite nice, as there is an insane red weather alarm currently as I'm writing this. I can feel the wind thump on the windows, all jobs and schools are on lock-down tomorrow countrywide; so the chilling and the heavy reading continues. 

[fridjonk]

Chapter 12:

Only read 10 pages today, I got quite carried away watching some Sadhguru videos. The man has such deep and profound wisdom on life that it's very easy to get lost in them. Other than that, not much happened. Been quite a weird week which has pushed my Kriya practice back several days. I will likely not start it until some time this mid-week or next week. But I want to get a few sessions before my upcoming mushroom trip.

Other:

Meditated for 50 minutes, I will be upping each session by 10 minutes now on - then probably 5. But I feel like I need a new technique; been doing the "do nothing" tech for a little while now and I want to switch it up a little. There are some meditation exercises in Osho's 112 meditations; I'd love to try them all out each for a few days to see which one works best. But I won't start it until I finish Ken's book. 

[fridjonk]

I DID IT!

I achieved my first lucid dream tonight! It was so real I was questioning it throughout the dream. It happened as I woke up after 6-hour sleep accidentally. I had been listening to Andrew Holecek on the "Inspire Nation" podcast talk about dream yoga and lucid dreaming. When I woke up I was awake for probably almost an hour, because of a family emergency. I then head back to sleep - IT wasn't even that I was trying to sleep, I more so meditating lying in bed. All of a sudden every thought turned into a vision like I was tripping; a crystal clear image. Then I find myself in a dream, I did not know I was lucid yet, but my first instinct was to do a reality check and count my fingers. There were 6-7 of them morphing around like some kind of tentacle fingers (still human-looking, but noodly). I can not stop thinking of how happy I was having achieved it. And even though I was super excited in the dream, I didn't wake up as I asked a dream character how I could stay lucid longer and get more clarity. By a surprise, he said "walk down some stairs, and you will increase the lucidity", I took that advice and It worked, I was lucid for probably 20 minutes. I'm certain that the advice he gave only worked because I believed him, so I wanted it to happen really badly - and so it did.

Conclusions:

This is a field I am going to master. It's blatantly clear to me the power of what this can do, It was SO REAL, it's hard to describe. It felt just as real as reality, which makes waking life feel more like a dream. Alongside Dream Yoga and Sleep Yoga where one is aware in deep sleep as nothing but an observer, pure awareness.

I could feel within the dream how weird it felt to talk to dream characters, I felt so connected to my deep subconscious which for the most part is locked up and hard to get to. It was also clear that the subconscious is not some evil version of you which want but the worst. It's an innocent victim of experiences you've been through. I am going to use lucid dreaming to purify myself while in sleep, and have some nondual experiences. I will be studying this subject more today in the hopes of going back in there tonight.

FUCK YEAH

 

 

Edited February 17, 2020 by fridjonk

[fridjonk]

Chapter 13:

In the next 3-5 days, I have decided to go on a reading break. Been going pretty hard at the books since January 1st; reading anywhere from 80 pages to 140 each day. Although it drastically slows down by the type of book I am reading. Flying through self-help books is way easier than the big fat spirituality or systems books such as Wilber's work. After reading a few self-help books in January; I've kind of decided to stop there, as I find the wisdom and lessons in them not nearly as close to the spiritual books. They tackle your issues from the core in with shadow work; whereas self-help takes on more surface problems that stage blue-green deal with. There are definitely some good self-help books out there, but I find I can tackle most of these problems with shadow work on my own, and not from external resources.

I had a weird moment the other day where I stubbed my toe very hard on a table. It was of the kind where one jumps around and squeezes one's toe for a minute or two. But I instantly decided to just question what had happened instead. So I asked -

• Who is it that feels this pain?
• Why don't I like this pain? 

And the pain was immediately disidentified from me. There was nobody feeling pain; there was just pain being pain, the isness of the pain was so obvious. So I just stood there loving the pain for what it is. Not judging it from a human egoic perspective. 

Other:

Meditated for 70 minutes last night. It was done as Leo advised in his guided meditation video - JUST LET GO. It was very awesome, but the problem I'm facing the most at the moment is my seating position. I always sit on my bed with my back supported by a wall, in a crosslegged posture. But as the meditations pass the 30-minute mark, It starts to get very uncomfortable on the legs and they usually go completely numb in the end. I've been able to sit it through for some time, but now it's getting kind of tiring. I'm contemplating on whether to change it up or just get used to it until it stops bothering me.

Lucid Dreaming- 

I've not been able to achieve another lucid dream since the last one befell. I've been trying to wake up 6 hours after falling asleep and performing the WILD technique; while doing reality checks many many times throughout the day. I'm assuming I'm not waking up during my R.E.M sleep since I have not been able to recall waking up directly or recently from a fresh dream. I will experiment with waking up 5 and a half hours after falling asleep. I'm assured of achieving a lucid dream within a week or so, from how much time I'm investing in thinking about them. 

 

 

 

 

[Zigzag Idiot]

On 2/17/2020 at 7:15 AM, fridjonk said:

I didn't wake up as I asked a dream character how I could stay lucid longer and get more clarity. By a surprise, he said "walk down some stairs, and you will increase the lucidity", I took that advice and It worked, I was lucid for probably 20 minutes. I'm certain that the advice he gave only worked because I believed him, so I wanted it to happen really badly - and so it did.

? I'm happy for you. Good luck with more lucid dreaming.

[fridjonk]

@Zigzag Idiot Thank you, brother! 

[fridjonk]

 

 

-I hold all of human history, knowledge, and wisdom in the palm of my hand. 

[fridjonk]

Chapter 14:

Been 5 days since the last log, a lot has happened since then. I went on a reading break on Friday which only ended up being about 2-3 days. It was nice and much needed though. I spent some time with family and got my mind off this work for those 3 days. 

Books:

I finished "The Religion Of Tomorrow" today after about 3 weeks of reading it. I've got a nice feeling of accomplishment and relief as it was quite dense and a little tough read. Although I'm done reading it page by page; I will still continue to study it and re-read all highlighted parts - they are worthy of contemplation for the whole year. A book like this you've really got to dig in and extract every drop of wisdom.

Fitness:

After getting a pull-up bar last weekend, I've been doing pull-ups non-stop over the past 2 weeks. It ended of course with an injury to the shoulder as I was doing about 70-100 each day. The problem has been found and dealt with, as I was not going down for full range of motion as I should've been doing. Now I'm doing recovery training, by only initiating the pull-UP movement by contracting the shoulder blades only. It's going well so far. 

Meditation:

Been going at the meditation every day as planned; time ranges from 40 minutes to 80 minutes. I don't feel that the longer meditations are yielding more results than the 40 min ones, that's likely because my meditation skills are still in the intermediate phase. 

Lucid Dreaming:

I've been having an awful amount of distraction every time I've woken up to perform a WILD technique or FILD. I'm doing reality checks often each and every day. I expect to get more peace to perform those techniques in the next week or two. I've been remembering dreams every night and writing them down, usually multiple per night. 

Fasting:

For the last 2-3 days, I started doing a 20/4 fasting window, where I eat from 16:00-20:00. Which then ended up with doing a water fast for the next 5 days. Currently, I've not consumed any food since 8-PM last night - so that's about 28 hour fast right now. Tomorrow will be a tough one. The reason why I'm trying this out is I'm interested in seeing how much it will impact my meditation and awareness throughout the day. I'm interested to see if it will help any with the lucid dreaming. I also felt it was time to "detox" my body to get a fresh start. The main motivator will be how good food will taste once I break the fast, but also the challenge; I feel this is a great way to gain discipline all around in life as it is quite challenging not to eat for 5-days.