Lost Or Losing My Mind

[charlie2dogs]

2 hours ago, charlie2dogs said:

hahahahhah

mikey that was my philosophy at one time until the pain i was creating made me realize that it was bs

[Truth]

8 hours ago, DizIzMikey said:

@Truth no absurdity at all when you think about it ?

It's not absurdity if your trying to aggrandize yourself.

[99th_monkey]

On 6/15/2016 at 9:19 AM, Kath said:

I can't offer you any help atall Diz, but I can empathise. I first read your post, then you edited it to a more positive note - where I'm still with you in your 'lost or losing my mind' theme!!  I need help too - but also know the stupidity of that entire statement. There are no sentences I can write - even that one - that makes any sense atall. I'm angry - 'why did I even start on this path?', frustrated 'When will I see the beauty and feel what I so so so understand on a cognitive level is true?', disillusioned 'OK, so now I have learned what I know to be the truth (and I do mean know - not just understand), why haven't I caught up?', sad - no idea why but want to just cry, frightened 'OMG, I've messed with my head and now everything's wrong in it . . . . . . . . . ', cheated 'I'm doing and being but I'm still here' . . . . . . . . . . .  and I could go on and on and on, with dualistic statements that contradict what I know to be the truth. I know the truth - it makes sense in every fibre of my being (although I know there are no fibres   )  I've felt it, I know it, but I'm still damned well here. Fighting with a mind I know has no place, knowing that to 'do' anything is misguided, but doing nothing is doing something. Getting in a holy almighty intellectual mess, then trying (??) to let it all go,.  Then wham bam, one day it all fits and it's all lovely. Then today wham bam it's absolutely damned well not.  Please be gentle with me with your responses. I am more than aware of the inconsistencies and inaccuracies in what I've written - I know that in fact there is nothing to be written. But, just for now, I need a bit of focus and clarity - can anyone help???????? I don't want to watch any more videos or read any more books, I know what answers the wise ones will give me . . . . . . . I have such a strong sense that I know this all to be true, why am I still here????????

dressing the thief up as a cop to catch the thief bro.

@DizIzMikey you, dont even know you've been robbed yet

[DizIzMikey]

@Truth either way... it is not.

[DizIzMikey]

@99th_monkey Every thing was necessary to get to this point, maybe my point of view will change later... bro ?

[99th_monkey]

your perspective will, stop thinking so much.

[DizIzMikey]

@99th_monkey maybe, if I don't die first, oooohh stop my thoughts.. OK ok lemme try I'll tell you how it goes

Sexy beard by the way!

[99th_monkey]

i've shaved my beard lol but thank you. the thoughts wont stop btw, just the thinker of them stops

[DizIzMikey]

@99th_monkey buuuut... I was never there!!! ?

Hmmmm... this is all sounding very fishy ... you mean to tell me thoughts appear out of no where!!!!!! Woooowwwwwwww

[99th_monkey]

dude, drop the "i was never there" stuff, for you thats just a mental thingy.

thoughts are like seeing, hearing, tasting, touching, smelling, thinking, 

VERBing not NOUNing. 

entertain the notion of THINKING without the idea of someone doing thinking. 

 

do you control what your see, or hear?  "gee i really dont want to see a bus today." "i hope i dont hear a baby cry" 

"i hope i dont think about thinking today"

c'mon bro.

 

[DizIzMikey]

@99th_monkey is I'm sorry better for you?

Oh I have it was very entertaining I had a lot of fun!

Lighten up..

Cm on Brother! Laughing is wonderful for I.. err..me.. errrrrrrr 

There that's better ☺

Wait wait let me talk without I

Hello how are you today, today was a pleasant day, hope you have a wonderful day and may your future be a blessing.

There I go!

[99th_monkey]

you sound very confused  thats good

[Nathalie]

On 24.6.2016 at 4:46 AM, 99th_monkey said:

dude, drop the "i was never there" stuff, for you thats just a mental thingy.

thoughts are like seeing, hearing, tasting, touching, smelling, thinking, 

VERBing not NOUNing. 

entertain the notion of THINKING without the idea of someone doing thinking. 

 

do you control what your see, or hear?  "gee i really dont want to see a bus today." "i hope i dont hear a baby cry" 

"i hope i dont think about thinking today"

c'mon bro.

Edited July 12, 2016 by MartineF

[Travis]

On June 15, 2016 at 8:19 AM, Kath said:

I can't offer you any help atall Diz, but I can empathise. I first read your post, then you edited it to a more positive note - where I'm still with you in your 'lost or losing my mind' theme!!  I need help too - but also know the stupidity of that entire statement. There are no sentences I can write - even that one - that makes any sense atall. I'm angry - 'why did I even start on this path?', frustrated 'When will I see the beauty and feel what I so so so understand on a cognitive level is true?', disillusioned 'OK, so now I have learned what I know to be the truth (and I do mean know - not just understand), why haven't I caught up?', sad - no idea why but want to just cry, frightened 'OMG, I've messed with my head and now everything's wrong in it . . . . . . . . . ', cheated 'I'm doing and being but I'm still here' . . . . . . . . . . .  and I could go on and on and on, with dualistic statements that contradict what I know to be the truth. I know the truth - it makes sense in every fibre of my being (although I know there are no fibres   )  I've felt it, I know it, but I'm still damned well here. Fighting with a mind I know has no place, knowing that to 'do' anything is misguided, but doing nothing is doing something. Getting in a holy almighty intellectual mess, then trying (??) to let it all go,.  Then wham bam, one day it all fits and it's all lovely. Then today wham bam it's absolutely damned well not.  Please be gentle with me with your responses. I am more than aware of the inconsistencies and inaccuracies in what I've written - I know that in fact there is nothing to be written. But, just for now, I need a bit of focus and clarity - can anyone help???????? I don't want to watch any more videos or read any more books, I know what answers the wise ones will give me . . . . . . . I have such a strong sense that I know this all to be true, why am I still here????????

I'm at the same place as you on the path. Hello! lol. I just keep coming back to the first fundamental question: who is doing all this? Why do I feel this way? Ahhh, because of thoughts and feelings, and thoughts creating more feelings, and feelings creating more thoughts. I'm not going to find solace in thoughts or emotions or feelings. They come and go within what? Your awareness. They seem to me to be signposts to discovering what's not real. What's not real. What's not real. Because I can recognize their fleeting nature, right? So what am I, and what am I scared of? 

I would sit with this question for a while: Who am I?

If I'm not my thoughts, beliefs, attachments, desires, impulses, then what am I?

Don't be so quick to discount what you think you are. Do you believe that you are some beliefs? A belief? Investigate this.

Just to reiterate, I'm on the path too and am right there with you at the same spot. I don't have anymore direct experience than you have. I'm just honestly questioning. That's all it comes down to. Honestly inquiring within the depths of your being.

 

Edited July 15, 2016 by Travis

[Ayla]

@Travis  here: 

 

[DizIzMikey]

@Travis I'm not sure I understand, but currently I'm doing awareness meditation with a mix, it's been beautiful and I have been improving

I can even play online games without feeling super paranoid anymore

 

 

[DizIzMikey]

@99th_monkey Nah .. it's great man..cmon bro, time to enjoy life <3 

Life is beautiful I'm beginning to understand, it's all about perspective in my current state and shaping beautiful beliefs

 

 

 

[99th_monkey]

@DizIzMikey all states come and go.  i wish them the best

[Evilwave Heddy]

14 hours ago, DizIzMikey said:

I can even play online games without feeling super paranoid anymore

What were you paranoid about?

[DizIzMikey]

@99th_monkey Thank you sexy man