Lost Or Losing My Mind

[DizIzMikey]

I'm getting to the point where.. I can't even think.. or umm I'm writing these words and they're coming from nothing sometimes, but I can't read wtf is going on .. like.. wtf happened.. did I just lose my mind???

I mean I can look back and read it but I can't consciously think of what I'm doing it just happens wtf is going on? 

I think I'm either crazy or I can't help but have it come from nothing... I'vented lost it ? 

I can't think about what I've written either it just is.. I can't think of how to correct what I did.

This is pretty nice

Sure beats thinking all the time... I can't think of what I'm about to write! Thank you lord!!! 

Hope this lasts!

Edited June 15, 2016 by DizIzMikey

[Truth]

 

[cetus]

@DizIzMikey I got to the point where my mind finally just imploded in on itself. I had that feeling that either I was losing my mind OR I just "lost" my mind (no-mind).  That was just the ego/self realizing it's final demise through seeing the illusion of mind and the game it plays

[key]

You are a fish in a shoal, seeing nothing but water, to see beyond is to look forward, but can such a fish master its own sight..

 

 

You my friend deserve nothing but unconditional love.

Sincerely

K

Edited June 15, 2016 by Kenya

[DizIzMikey]

@Kenya thank you! A fish can but he has to write and say stuff out loud. Lololololol 

[Kath]

I can't offer you any help atall Diz, but I can empathise. I first read your post, then you edited it to a more positive note - where I'm still with you in your 'lost or losing my mind' theme!!  I need help too - but also know the stupidity of that entire statement. There are no sentences I can write - even that one - that makes any sense atall. I'm angry - 'why did I even start on this path?', frustrated 'When will I see the beauty and feel what I so so so understand on a cognitive level is true?', disillusioned 'OK, so now I have learned what I know to be the truth (and I do mean know - not just understand), why haven't I caught up?', sad - no idea why but want to just cry, frightened 'OMG, I've messed with my head and now everything's wrong in it . . . . . . . . . ', cheated 'I'm doing and being but I'm still here' . . . . . . . . . . .  and I could go on and on and on, with dualistic statements that contradict what I know to be the truth. I know the truth - it makes sense in every fibre of my being (although I know there are no fibres   )  I've felt it, I know it, but I'm still damned well here. Fighting with a mind I know has no place, knowing that to 'do' anything is misguided, but doing nothing is doing something. Getting in a holy almighty intellectual mess, then trying (??) to let it all go,.  Then wham bam, one day it all fits and it's all lovely. Then today wham bam it's absolutely damned well not.  Please be gentle with me with your responses. I am more than aware of the inconsistencies and inaccuracies in what I've written - I know that in fact there is nothing to be written. But, just for now, I need a bit of focus and clarity - can anyone help???????? I don't want to watch any more videos or read any more books, I know what answers the wise ones will give me . . . . . . . I have such a strong sense that I know this all to be true, why am I still here????????

[Saarah]

@Kath @DizIzMikey Just remember it's all about the distinction between thinking and awareness! 

focus on the way you are rather than the result and then maybe the results will come, when we aim for results, trying to reach a goal, the thinking mind gets initiated which can lead us to not getting anywhere in the end 

[Philip]

@DizIzMikey

Correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems like you've achieved a state of pleasant confusion that allows you to detach a bit from ordinary logic and see almost any possibility as true.

If so, then let me humbly propose the possibility that this confusion is actually a super-sneaky tactic your subconscious mind found in order to try to convince us (and maybe also yourself) of how conscious and detached from logic you now are.

I'm not saying you're a liar or anything, because I don't know. All I know is I've made some posts that were somewhat similar to yours. And after writing them, I tried to accept the possibility that they were all just me acting out, paying lip service or being downright delusional. As you might guess, that possibility created lots of resistance in my mind, because I don't tend to see myself as THAT much of an unconscious fraud. 

But the reality is: maybe I am. I don't know. And you probably don't know either. So maybe you can try and take the path that creates the most resistance for you. And I have an intuition that this right here may be the path you're resisting the most right now.

Anyway, keep up the good work. And good luck.

[DizIzMikey]

@Kath do do nothing meditation and let go

I have no control over anything I do rofl 

I think ! 

 

[DizIzMikey]

@Philip error, I was repeating a mantra and than my mind went yellow bus on me and started to have speech slur in my head than.. if I tried to force thought it would hurt

I don't know if I lied because I seem to feel like I have no control over anything I do

Currently .. could change later

Scary and sad but reliVing but more scary at the same time... feels like a fucking script. 

[DizIzMikey]

@Truth 1 thumbs up sounds better =)

[DizIzMikey]

@DizIzMikey Man... my ego is such a dick

Can't wait till it dies

[WelcometoReality]

53 minutes ago, DizIzMikey said:

@DizIzMikey Man... I am such a dick

Can't wait till I die.

FYP. ?

[charlie2dogs]

On 6/15/2016 at 8:38 AM, DizIzMikey said:

I'm getting to the point where.. I can't even think.. or umm I'm writing these words and they're coming from nothing sometimes, but I can't read wtf is going on .. like.. wtf happened.. did I just lose my mind???

I mean I can look back and read it but I can't consciously think of what I'm doing it just happens wtf is going on? 

I think I'm either crazy or I can't help but have it come from nothing... I'vented lost it ? 

I can't think about what I've written either it just is.. I can't think of how to correct what I did.

This is pretty nice

Sure beats thinking all the time... I can't think of what I'm about to write! Thank you lord!!! 

Hope this lasts!

mikey iam going to give you a little reality, i have noticed you are good at starting topics, but most of it is nothing more than nonsense and bs, has nothing to do with personal growth, isnt it about time to grow up.

[Truth]

7 hours ago, DizIzMikey said:

@Truth 1 thumbs up sounds better =)

Yeah some people can't laugh at the absurdity of their own thoughts and ego.

[abrakamowse]

@DizIzMikey  I want to lose my mind too! How can I achieve that???

[Kath]

hmmm . . . . now you might need drugs for that!!

[DizIzMikey]

@Truth no absurdity at all when you think about it ?

[DizIzMikey]

@charlie2dogs wow kiddo.. I'm exactly where I need to be, do you understand this concept? 

[charlie2dogs]

3 hours ago, DizIzMikey said:

@charlie2dogs wow kiddo.. I'm exactly where I need to be, do you understand this concept? 

hahahahhah