Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0
electroBeam

Very interesting enlightenment experience

3 posts in this topic

Just felt like sharing an interesting enlightenment experience. I don't need help with techniques or anything, just felt like sharing.

 

So I was having a conversation with my ex, telling her that we can now be friends because I've done the inner work to get over her. 

Since the beginning of our relationship I hated my country of birth. It's too unambitious, and I feel like I cant make an impact on the world there. Since I was a kid i wanted to migrate to the US. During our relationship I had been vocal about this and tried to convince her to come to the US. She (an international student) fiercely refused because she hated the US.

I always had a strong purpose, and flew to the US every 3 months, because I'm a cofounder of a company that's based there. I dreamed of being there, the ambitious people, the skill, the drive, it was heaven. Felt like I belonged there. 

But because my ex didn't want to go there(and she always tried to stop me from going there and build the company in my home country). I accepted and tried to keep working from my home country. I had a lot of fights with investors, and my cofounders, but managed to find a way to keep working from afar. 

About a year ago, our relationship changed tune. She became a lot less clingy, and was ok with me going to the US more. I just thought she was maturing. 

She broke up with me a month or 2 ago. She told me that it was because we have different hobbies. She weirdly wanted to be best friends but no sex and able to have partners. 

I was deeply offended and hurt by this. I sacrificed my company for this??? These problems are fixable!

I tried to get back with her, she didn't let me. 

I finally decided to tell her that I got over her, and that I wish her well in her future relationships. 

She finally told me that the real reason why she broke up was because she saw that I wasn't happy in my home country and that broke her heart. So she decided to try and detach from me over the year, and she tried to get me detached from her, because she felt it was very unfair I couldn't achieve my dreams. She couldn't break up with me and tell me that it's because of this reason, because she knew that I would change my company's plans to be with her. So she had to wait until there was no turning back. 

She told me that now that I know this, she's ok to have sex with me so long as we don't have partners. We can continue being together till the end of the year.

 

I just found this experience to be the definition of unconditional love. It's harsh, cruel, but also deeply loving and kind. Forward thinking, and doing what's best for the greater good. The entire thing was specifically designed to maximize love. This was the way of maximizing love. 

I then descended into a spiral of depression for a moment, as I just realised I lost someone I love because of my career. Someone who is as forward thinking as this. I mourned at the 'fact' that 99% of women are not like this, and I'll never find someone like that. 

I just marvelled at what she had done, how she planned this for an entire year, all for ensuring we have a better future. As I thought I would never meet someone like this again, and marvelled at the act at the same time, I had this realization that this entire thing was not done by her. 'Her' became an idea. This entire thing was done by the raw intelligence and love of the entire universe. Her was not a woman, her was Myself, literally giving love to Myself. Her, was actually Me hiding/playing hide and go seek, behind a veneer of a 'woman', and it revealed itself to Me, like a child playing hide and go seek revealing their location. Her was God's way of structuring life to maximize love and happiness. The entire thing orchestrated to maximize love to Myself. 

I thought that there would be no other women out there like this, but this experience showed me that there can be an infinite amount of women like this, with this calibre, because this women is Me. 

Behind 'Her', or another way of saying it, I saw through her(as if she was a window) a DMT alien like being that has the soul goal of loving and connecting the entire universe. 

All this time I thought I loved her, but actually I was loving Me, pretending to love her. 

Edited by electroBeam

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
10 minutes ago, electroBeam said:

She finally told me that the real reason why she broke up was because she saw that I wasn't happy in my home country and that broke her heart. So she decided to try and detach from me over the year, and she tried to get me detached from her, because she felt it was very unfair I couldn't achieve my dreams. She couldn't break up with me and tell me that it's because of this reason, because she knew that I would change my company's plans to be with her. So she had to wait until there was no turning back. 

I call bullshit. She's a beautiful liar.
If she was telling the truth and took responsibility for your life by breaking your relationship up, then she did you a favor by leaving. Taking this much responsibility for your partner's life is a huuuuge red flag signalling boundary issues.

Edited by tsuki

Bearing with the conditioned in gentleness, fording the river with resolution, not neglecting what is distant, not regarding one's companions; thus one may manage to walk in the middle. H11L2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0