Multiple trip report results over 6 month period

[WinterCeleann]

Hello! I just joined and I wanted to share these experiences on mushrooms as there are not many other places I could share where it would be within correct context. 

To simply in conversational language: I've been on the 'awakening' path with great dedication for the last 10 years and on and off since I was about 7. 

I really put off the psychonaut path for a long time out of stubbornness.  About 6 months ago I decided what the hell. I would not mind speeding this up a bit lol 

I started with the 'herioc dose'.  
Now, I have been trying to master the mind for quite some time and it is even wrapped up in how I make a living. I transform people physically (reverse aging etc) this way. I was not happy that it took a good year to get undeniable proof and wanted to strengthen my ability....that was the point of my trip ...
HA

As you know you cant exactly boss the mushrooms around lol 

Boy, was I disappointed when my entire trip was about the shadow side of the sacred masculine (Im a woman btw). I just had visions of every act done to me by a male that was disrespectful..... I felt shallow and disappointed... 

Then I realized as the days went by after that first trip. I had no knowledge of this prior to the trip. I had was not viewing any of these actions as "bad" It was the biggest part of my shadow world and I didnt even know it. 

I was still disappointed. 

I started microdosing every day....things started changing. Anxiety lowered, depression lowered, lessons continued. 

I started learning about the sacred masculine and sacred feminine - something I knew nothing about before this and had not cared too much about at all. 

Duality started to make sense. The nature of consciousness was becoming more and more clear.

I started to get in touch with my sacred feminine (slowly at first) 

About 3 months after the first trip I took a leap of faith dose---over 8 grams. 

I wanted an ego death so badly. I did not make it. I didnt peak. I had a great time at first. I had multiple orgasms in which all I could do was laugh and laugh that "reality was fucking me" lol 
Then it went down hill, as I came close to the ego death so had all the negative experiences but did not quite make it out. 

Months went by....I learned more and more about the sacred masculine and feminine- lessons were coming up everywhere. 
I started having physical sensations and finally googled them and I realized my shakti had awoken. My kundalini had started to rise. Now I was not looking for this and I dont even fully subscribe to that culture so it made it all very authentic feeling to me once I realized it.  And Ive started doing kundalini yoga again to finish the process. 

At this point, all my relationships have shifted, I have shifted, I can shift into God-conscious easier (Im not in it all the time yet as sometimes I react instead of respond to the outer world and I forget I am love.)   But, I am in such a different space than before. 

Im going to do another heroic dose this weekend- Id like to take this to the next level. 

I also have DMT I want to use but have been putting off, does anyone have experience with it? 

Anyway, that is my story -- mostly about how the benefits of the trips sometimes manifest over time and change us and how we never know what we are going to get but we will get what we need most. : D 

Oh and does anyone have tips on how to push through to the ego death when you are close in a trip? Thanks!
 

[MrDmitriiV]

@WinterCeleann

You don't have to push for ego death, since it's already dead to begin with. What you want is the realization of the ego's illusory nature.

In my first trips I also tried to control LSD and direct the trip a certain way. But first we all have to heal our mental blockages to see clear afterwards. Work on healing then pursuing the big juicy fruits of spirituality. 

Did you have a happy or hellish life? People with somewhat happy lifes often get attached to their stories, because they're good lol.

People who have a life shit-packed with suffering have less resistance with ego death. Suffering is like fire which can purify if you manage to push thru it.

[Leo Gura]

@WinterCeleann Great! Welcome aboard!

You're doing good, but all that is just the tip of the iceberg. I suggest you contemplate more existential questions. Such as:

• What is reality?
• What is God?
• What am I?
• What is love?

Etc.

It would also be a good idea to upgrade from mushrooms to research chems, as they are more powerful, more clear, and more versatile.

Mushrooms are too tricky and squirrely.

If you want ego death, contemplate What is death? / What is a self? / What is ego?

You should be aiming for 50-100 trips to sort all these questions out. There is too much material there.

[herghly]

@Leo Gura I thought mushrooms are safer than research chems?

 

Could we start a research chems mega thread?

[Leo Gura]

6 minutes ago, herghly said:

@Leo Gura I thought mushrooms are safer than research chems?

There are pros and cons to both.

I wasn't speaking to their safety. I was speaking to their efficacy. Although I have not really encountered any serious safety issues as long as you're not doing something stupid. And I should here note, lots of people do stupid things. So I can't speak to that. My personal standard is always extreme carefulness with any psychedelic substance.

Quote

Could we start a research chems mega thread?

We could, if people have content worth filling it with.

[herghly]

Great! i think it'd be worth it. I don't know much about research chems, but I'm sure many here would like to discuss it

[Leo Gura]

23 minutes ago, herghly said:

Great! i think it'd be worth it. I don't know much about research chems, but I'm sure many here would like to discuss it

Well, we already have mega threads for 5-MeO-DMT, DPT, and N,N-DMT. I'm not sure enough people here have experience with much beyond that.