Cut out Toxic Friends

[Sahil Pandit]

What do you guys think about this video? 

[K VIL]

Bravo Bryce

[Rinne]

Dereks big on this

[mandyjw]

We think that what other people say has the power to hurt us but we are the ones who make our decisions and decide how we feel about things. It's completely possible to enjoy a friendship with someone even if they say discouraging things, but only if we accept that we are the ones with the power to believe what we want and feel the way we want. If you find yourself easily affected by this sort of thing then it may be wise to take a step back, until you can gain the strength to take a different approach to take the best and leave the rest. Sometimes the best thing someone can do for you is say something is a bad idea and it only motivates you all the more to prove them wrong. It's all entirely up to you how you take their words.

There's never any need to take action to cut people out of your life, if they aren't meant to be there, they'll leave on their own. And in my experience come back at just the perfect time for both of you. No one is ever going to be developed on the same level we are in all the areas of development there are to tackle in life. We are here for each other. It's amazing how fast your own growth can inspire and influence other people, even if they meet it with resistance at first. There's no need to hide your light. 

Edited January 30, 2020 by mandyjw

[Khaimer]

1 hour ago, mandyjw said:

We think that what other people say has the power to hurt us but we are the ones who make our decisions and decide how we feel about things. It's completely possible to enjoy a friendship with someone even if they say discouraging things, but only if we accept that we are the ones with the power to believe what we want and feel the way we want. If you find yourself easily affected by this sort of thing then it may be wise to take a step back, until you can gain the strength to take a different approach to take the best and leave the rest. Sometimes the best thing someone can do for you is say something is a bad idea and it only motivates you all the more to prove them wrong. It's all entirely up to you how you take their words.

There's never any need to take action to cut people out of your life, if they aren't meant to be there, they'll leave on their own. And in my experience come back at just the perfect time for both of you. No one is ever going to be developed on the same level we are in all the areas of development there are to tackle in life. We are here for each other. It's amazing how fast your own growth can inspire and influence other people, even if they meet it with resistance at first. There's no need to hide your light. 

Whatever you have said here every word makes sense. You are absolutely right.

There was a time in my life when I had a few people around me (not friends someone else whose opinion mattered to me) and they used to say such harsh words that it used to hurt me a lot. I used to feel about about myself. Then I realized that the people who genuinely care about me never say harsh things, so I realized its time to take these toxic people out of my life. It took me a lot of time but I did it. Now whatever those people say, I just feel sorry for them and not for myself

[Recursoinominado]

As someone who grew up with serious codependence due to toxic manipulative narcissistic family members, I say: cut negative people ruthlessly out of your life, those people will weight you down and drain you non-stop until you vibrate with them in low vibrations. 
Life is too short and precious to waste a second with those people, and, unfortunately, this is most people.
 

Let them learn their lessons and go learn your own. If I don't find anyone that is align with me, thriving in life, positive, conscious etc, I prefer to be alone.
 

Best decision ever.

[Gladius]

Yes please, let people heal by themselves, maybe you guys can catch up later in life.

[Nahm]

@Sahil Pandit All is well, it is judgement which is “toxic” (simply false). Inspect the direct experience, of the thought (separative / judgmental / Twoness) and how it feels (your true nature, Oneness). 

@mandyjw ?

[Average Investor]

@K VIL Thanks!

@mandyjw You are definitely right with that. I think it is really situational. I don't cut out people if they are not on the same level as me, but eventually you can get tugged back down if you are not aware enough. I noticed especially when I went vegan that people were quite reactive to that. Even after a year I could still have someone offer me ice cream or something like that. While maybe it is always not always their intention to do something like that, they likely do it without much thought. 

I think a lot of the effect is even on the subconscious level. Like if you have someone smoking or drinking by you, then my guess would be the chances of you joining in on that are higher. Same with their attitudes and perspectives. A lot of negative things build up in your subconscious. It is really easy to pick up someone else's bad habit or their negative values. I suppose my experience may differ. I was a bit of a door mat at one point.

@Khaimer Glad to hear it! Keep on making your life the best.

@Recursoinominado I hear you! I have done a good chunk of solitude and it was huge for my personal development. It could be a bit ruff, but the growth was really worth it for me. Happy to hear you are doing well.

@Nahm I suppose in this sense I used the word toxic as it does appeal more to others. A level of judgment would be beneficial for survival for a few reasons. But I would suppose even a spiritual being could have to worry about some of those aspects. But for the right person I suppose what could a "toxic" being take from a monk? There would be no effect I would assume. 

 

Edited January 31, 2020 by Average Investor

[purerogue]

19 minutes ago, d0ornokey said:

it's incredibly contextual imo 

 

It is indeed, sometimes people who tell you that you are not ready and need to improve in something can be of better help, but sure, if they are really toxic and telling how you are no good for anything all the time , without having anything positive to say then it is nothing good, but overly positive people can be just as bad, need to find a balance,where and when it is needed.  

Edited January 31, 2020 by purerogue

[Nahm]

11 hours ago, Average Investor said:

 I suppose in this sense I used the word toxic as it does appeal more to others. A level of judgment would be beneficial for survival for a few reasons. But I would suppose even a spiritual being could have to worry about some of those aspects. But for the right person I suppose what could a "toxic" being take from a monk? There would be no effect I would assume. 

 

You can certainly not hang around with some, with or without judging them. What they do / say is theirs. What you think of them, is yours. A “monk” who sees someone through judgement...has nothing to offer. 

[Commodent]

13 hours ago, Average Investor said:

A level of judgment would be beneficial for survival for a few reasons.

Judgement ≠ Observation

Important distinction, in my view. Judgementality does not benefit survival, whereas observation does. Observation is impartial and without negative charge.

[Average Investor]

@Nahm That's a good way of putting it. I can't say my mind is free of judgments, but it is something I have tremendously improved. I try to interact with anyone and really get a sense of the person and not some sort of idea that has popped in my head. What kind of practice have you found that allowed you to transcend this? I have watched Leo's judgment video a few times and it has helped for sure. 

@d0ornokey @purerogue I will be more mindful about that with other content. I really appreciate that.

@Commodent I like that. That is a very good way of looking at it. I think more of that is what I was meaning, without being able to articulate it fully. I will try to look at things as observations more.

@d0ornokey I have been wanting to dive into more depth with this. Not everyone is going to be on the exact same level as you. You definitely can't get everyone into personal development either. It really depends on where you are at. I would say you kind of do have to have a cut off line that you define for yourself. 

@Keyhole Yeah, one thing I had happen was a lot of people would continually reach out to me. I removed over 10 people from my life and people will try to bring you back. I had just had my ex try to reach out to me just the other day after a year. It is really important for people to value themselves high and work towards collaborating with healthy and like minded people. 

[Nahm]

@Average Investor If you can “get there”, just loving cuts through everything. Everyone is perfect however they are. Something to ponder maybe, if you’ve never seen God, when you’re talking to whoever...can you honestly say that isn’t?

[Average Investor]

@Nahm I see a lot of beauty around me, that's for sure. I realize that no matter what the person is like or what they do it contributes to the greater good in some way it seems like. I couldn't really say we are not all god. I have not had the realization within myself that I am god. I do find it only strange though how everything is so interconnected that it could make sense even from a less spiritual angle. 

I had the realization that really everything is infinite. I mean look how water works, it seemingly replenishes itself repeatedly. Our solar system seems to be forever expanding. The mind itself seems to work in some weird way connecting to all of this. It seems to all have infinite depth to it. I had the idea that there was more versions of me out there. But maybe that just means everyone else is me like I have seen mentioned here. It's not a realization I have had yet though.

I am going to start working more on contemplation. I probably should have a few trips while I work through more of that as well. I do want what I provide to the world to be more conscious. But I know that growth will take time. 

I have been trying to smile at everyone. I say good morning to every person I walk past on my morning runs as well. I am working to bring more love into my life in those types of way so far. I really do notice it is rarer that people reactive negative to me know. So maybe the energy that I bring now is much more positive. 

I guess when I see someone who is harming their health or mind it bothers me in the way that I think they are wasting what they have. Not that I don't like them, but I wish that they could see the beauty in treating their body or mind with higher regard. I want the ability to look past those things. 

[Nahm]

@Average Investor You’re onto Good stuff, no doubt. ♥️ Long as you don’t do anything I deem ‘toxic’. Then you’re out. Lol. 

[Average Investor]

@Nahm Haha I will try not to. I really appreciate what you do here, not just for me either. 

[Nahm]

@Average Investor Thanks man. You too. ??